Apologizing Jokes
28 apologizing jokes and hilarious apologizing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about apologizing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Apologizing Short Jokes
Short apologizing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The apologizing humour may include short apologize jokes also.
- How do you know a redditor is not a native english speaker? They'll apologize for potential mistakes after 10 paragraphs of perfect english
- What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? "The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
-first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of) - Why did the chicken go to the gym? To build up it's pecs.
(apologies in advance. I made this up). - Just made this up, and apologize in advance... What did the Doctor give the weatherman after his skiing accident? 4 casts
- My doctor apologized for the botched circumcision that left me impotent. I told him no hard feelings.
- A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger The librarian says, "This is a library."
The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please." - Why are there so few Jim Jones jokes? Because the punch line would be too long.
I apologize in advance. - I'm gonna dress up as Forest gump tonight and go to the movies and make a a scene. Then I will have to apologize for ruining their Black Panther party
- OC, What do you call an anorexic lesbian? A skeleton in the closet.
Sincere apologies to everyone I've just horribly offended! - I was always told "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Turns out this doesn't apply to funerals, though.
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Apologizing One Liners
Which apologizing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with apologizing? I can suggest the ones about forgive me and making excuses.
- A lumberjack chopped off my teeth But later he apologized and said it was axedental.
- What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code
- My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers So I just stared at him until he apologized.
- Curiosity killed the cat... NASA sincerely apologizes...
- I'd like to apologize for all of my terrible chemistry jokes. All of the good ones argon.
- My wife apologized first time ever She said she was sorry she married me
- What do you call a group of Canadians? An apology
- What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes? Dishrespectful...
- What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe it off and apologize.
- Wait, Cyber Monday is about shopping? Apologies to my friends on my chat list...
- Why did the man in the stretcher apologize? Because he got carried away.
- What do you call an apology written using dots and dashes? Re-morse code
- What would you call it if mel gibson apologizes to the Jewish people? Melatonin
- What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs? An apology.
- How does a woman apologize to a man? I'm sorry, but it's your fault.
Fun-Filled Apologizing Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about apologizing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pleading guilty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make apologizing pranks.
How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
**
After my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an...
...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages s**... b**... and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
I was auditioning for a play today, and the director yelled at me. He said my acting reminded him of a female reproductive o**...! Needless to say I stormed off…
But after I thought about it, I went back. I had to apologize for o**... acting.
Wine
A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."
Saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" means the same thing ...
Unless you're at a f**....
A man walks into a bar and asks:
"Bartender, may I have a Less?"
To which the bartender says:
"I'm sorry sir, what did you want?"
"I would like to have a Less please."
The bartender then apologizes:
"I don't know this drink, sir, could you describe it to me?"
The man answers:
"Well... I don't really know, but my doctor told me to drink less."
A man buys a parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him, and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
I was in a pub...
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up onto the sidewalk, and stopped inches away from a lady with a baby stroller. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Hey, don't ever do that again. You scared the c**... out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.
The driver replied, "I'm sorry. It's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
