The Best 53 Apologize Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Apologize jokes. There are some apologize justify jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these apologize apology accepted puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Apologize Jokes and Puns

Two pilots were accused of sexual harassment.

HR said a female pilot complained about the way they were joking and saying cockpit during the flight. Looking relieved they both got up to leave. HR quickly asks where there going when one pilots says "we don't have a problem, we'll apologize, and we'll never use the term cockpit again. That was totally insensitive of us. From here on out we'll just call it a sky box."

How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

**

What are the last four words a redneck says before he commits suicide?

Hey guys, watch this!

Apologize joke, What are the last four words a redneck says before he commits suicide?

What do you do when you come across Santa on New Years Eve?

You wipe it off and apologize.

I don't know what you do when you come across a bear,

But I just wipe it off and apologize.


This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies?

Corpses are still underground.

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

Apologize joke, How does a woman apologize to a man?

Made this up while laying in bed and yes it's bad. I apologize in advance

A 35 year old house painter walks out of his home on a snowy winter day but quickly scurries back inside and says with a grin on his face "It likes like I'M the one that needs another coat today"

A man walks into a bar and orders ten shots of whiskey.

As soon as the bartender pours them out, the man slams them down, one right after the other. Before the bartender can say anything, the man orders ten more shots.

"I don't know, maybe you should slow down," says the bartender.

The man replies, already slurring, "You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I have."

The bartender is taken aback and starts to apologize, "Oh I'm so sorry. What do you have?"

And the man says, "About $3."

What do you do when you come across an elephant?

Wipe it off and apologize.

What do you get when you cross a female tyrannosaur with a male tyrannosaur?

Tyrannosaurus Sex!

*I apologize deeply, I'm so...so sorry*

You can explore apologize regretful reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apologize apologise dad jokes. There are also apologize puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?

Progressive

*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*

How do telegraph operators apologize?

Remorse code

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call it. It's not gonna come.

(Probably been posted before, but oh well I'm new and I apologize)

What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

Apologize joke, Why did the dolphin apologize?

I'd like to apologize for all of my terrible chemistry jokes.

All of the good ones argon.

My neighbors caught me watching them have sex through their bedroom window and told my parents.

My dad made me apologize and told the couple I was normally above that type of behavior. I took the advice and started watching through the skylight.

How do you make a Canadian apologize?

Step on his toe.


What's the difference between a Canadian oil mogul and an American one?

The Canadian will apologize for destroying the environment.

My wife and I were having an argument the other day.

She started name calling and not fighting fair, so I responded with "You're rubbish in bed" among other things.

A few hours later at work, I felt terrible about what i had said, so I called her to apologize and I asked her, "What are you doing?"

And she said, "I'm in bed."

So i said, "What are you doing this late in bed?"

And she said, "Getting a second opinion."

An Old Man and His Lake

An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."

Why does a Somalian baby cry?

It's having a mid life crisis.

I apologize for nothing.

My dad always farts to my face and apologize..

..He always say "sorry son, I have Fartinsons disease"

Did you hear about the standup comic who was just released from prison?

Yeah, Gilbert got freed.

(I apologize to Gilbert.)

How do you get a canadian to apologize?

Step on his foot.

I always considered myself a Canadian American in spirit

I apologize when I enter an empty room in case the NSA is listening.

In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British

If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German

If they retreat, they're French

If they switch to your side, they're Italian

If they apologize, they're Canadian

If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

Will Trump ever apologize for calling Kim Jong-Un a "rocket man"?

Well I think it's going to be a long, long time...

You don't want to get busy in an elevator.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Note: I did check the sub for this joke. Couldn't find it (I admit I didn't search too deep but I hope you enjoy this one).

I apologize in advance if this has been reposted.

Why did the man in the stretcher apologize?

Because he got carried away.

Saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" means the same thing ...

Unless you're at a funeral.

What do you call a male cow that keeps falling asleep?

A bulldozer.

I just made this up. I apologize for my self and my entire ancestory that led to this.

I'm gonna dress up as Forest Gump tonight and go to the movies and make a a scene.

Then I will have to apologize for ruining their Black Panther party

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a skyscraper

Suddenly, a fire starts and the three of them are trapped on a balcony. The firemen show up and hold out a canopy for the girls to jump onto. The brunette jumps and the firemen miss her with the canopy. They apologize and encourage the other two girls to jump. The redhead jumps and the firemen miss her as well. The firemen apologize again and ensure the blonde they will catch her. She says, "I'm not stupid, put it on the ground and I'll jump."

The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere

Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.

(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

The other night I got really drunk at a bar. I started telling some very racist jokes and when I looked up a good friend of mine who is black happened to be there. I felt awful about it and called him up to apologize first thing the next morning.

He said he wasn't even at the bar.

Why wouldn't the ref apologize to Serena Williams?

It wasn't his fault

An obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...

An Obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...

He's in the lobby for an hour before the doc calls him in.

Doc: I apologize for your wait.

Man: Don't, *I'm* the one that can't stop eating.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" are synonyms

Unless you're at a funeral

In Roman Catholicism who invented Cheese?

Cheesus
(I'm really high so I apologize if this joke makes no sense)

Why didn't the trains at the station leave after the passengers boarded?

If they wanted to leave, they would have gone to the leavetion.



I apologize, it's a terrible joke. But I made it up on the spot and it caused my daughter to snort the bean sprout she was eating into her nose.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can't remember anything?

Forgetti

I'd like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don't take a hit too, that would cost me a pretty penne.

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

OK. I apologize in advance if you've already seen this one. it's an old joke from the 70's, when there was a gas crisis, and they posted this question on billboards around the South.

So, what's the answer? The answer is that no know knows what Jesus drove, but we know that his Father drove a Plymouth. How do we know? Because it says so right in the Bible. It clearly says that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.

There are 2 types of people in the world: those that apologize when they're wrong

and those I double down on when I'm right.

Why did so many German officers flee to Argentina after WW2?

Because they heard there was an entire town for Buenos Arians

(I hope this hasn't been posted before, if so I apologize)

I apologize to all the people I told they were only average persons.

I didn't mean it.

I was always told "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.

Turns out this doesn't apply to funerals, though.

I'm trying to learn English. They told me "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, but I'm still confused.

Can anybody please tell me why the widow got mad at me at the funeral?

I'd like to apologize to all my fellow Californians for the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them.

My friend told this to me the other day, so I apologize if this is a repost or anything like that.

A man is pulled over for speeding.

Police Officer: Sir, were you aware you were going 68 MPH on a 45?

Man: No sir.

Officer: Well, you were, and that's far too high. You'll have to be in court.

Man: Well, can you at least raise the number a bit so we can get the judge to say it?

Officer: I guess I can.



\*In the courtroom

Judge: How were you going 420 on a 45?!?

I had to apologize to my friend for making fun of his erectile dysfunction.

I said, Hope there are no hard feelings.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apologize repent jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apologize rude piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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