Apologise Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Apologise jokes. There are some apologise explain jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these apologise regret puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Laughter Apologise Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry

(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

I'll just apologise right now...

A man goes to the doctor. He says, "Doc, I think there may be something wrong with the pills you gave me last time."

The doctor peered over his glasses, "Why do you think that, Mr Jones?"

"I keep veering to the left, then to the right."

"I shouldn't worry about that," replies the doctor. "Those are just side effects..."

What do you call a Russian ninja?


( I apologise, this is my first ever post so I'm using that as my excuse)

How did one Brain apologise to the other?

I'm cerebro

jokes about apologise

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup.

I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another;

Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair into the oven

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

Wipe it off and apologise.

How does SchrΓΆdinger apologise?

Sorry not sorry

Apologise joke, How does SchrΓΆdinger apologise?

Why is the eunuch always changing?

Because he Varys...

(I apologise for nothing.)

Generally, the phrases "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" are used synonymously...

But not at a funeral.

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist.

I apologise for any lost brain cells.

When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'.

I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"

You can explore apologise forgive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apologise regretful dad jokes. There are also apologise puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Shouldn't brothels be called "hoe-tels"?

I apologise for any loss of brain cells caused by this joke...

What was the name of the Greek hero who couldn't stop swaying from side to side?


I'm not even going to apologise for this one.

Usually, "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" are used synonymously...

But I wouldn't recommend it at a funeral.

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?

One likes men and the other is disabled.

EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.

What did the southern side of the tree say to the northern side when it died?

I'm sorry for your moss

I made this up and I apologise. It's awful.

Apologise joke, What did the southern side of the tree say to the northern side when it died?

I never apologise, and I will never explain myself.

I'm sorry, it's just the way I am.

What do you say to a German coeliac?

"Gluten Tag"

I apologise for nothing ;)

If Gal Gadot ever cheated on me

I would apologise

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence

Wuthering Flights

(I do apologise for this)

I apologise for the following joke, it's a long one...


An american and Canadian are having a conversation

The american asks: Is it true that Canadians apologise a lot?

The Canadian thought about it for a while, shook his head, and replied:
I'm sorry, I don't know

How muslim parents apologise

Come eat

Why should we accept you into harvard university?

Person: So why should we accept you into harvard university?
Me: i watch rick and morty
Person: oh right this way sir, I apologise

If the Japanese are so well mannered that they apologised for a train that departed 20 seconds early...

...why didn't they apologise for WWII?

Never Apologise! Never Explain!

Sorry, that's my motto.

Apologise joke, Never Apologise! Never Explain!

Not my joke but still...

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?


They'll just beat the room for being black...

I apologise.

How did the wife apologise after she cheated on her husband?

Sorry I ovary-acted.

I said the word "gay" in public and a man came up to me angrily.

He said, "I'm a homosexual, and I want you to apologise!"

I said, "I'm sorry you're a homosexual."

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three women talking in what sounded like Scottish accent. So I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ladies from Scotland? One of them turned red when she heard me and said, "It's Wales you fool! So I apologized and replied,

"I do apologise, Are you three whales from Scotland?"


A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

What do you do if you come across a camel?

Wipe it off and apologise

What happens when you come across a lion in the jungle?

Wipe it off and politely apologise

"I'm sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing.

Except at a funeral

Three Nurses working in a morgue discover a man with a hard on.

The first nurse says, "I can't let that go to waste!" and rides him.

The second nurse does the same thing.

The third nurse, who was on her period, hesitates but does it anyways.


Then the man wakes up, and in complete shock, the nurses apologise, saying they thought he was dead. The man replies, "I was! But after two jump-starts and a blood transfusion, I feel great!"

I'm sorry and I apologise have the same meaning

Except in a funeral

what do you call a movie that takes place in a school?

a school shooting

(if this has been made before i apologise anyways have a good day)

This man said to me "sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry"

I said "that's really annoying".

He said "I know, I can only apologise."

There is a difference between I'm sorry and I apologise...

Don't believe me?
Try saying I apologise at a funeral

"I'm sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing.

Unless you're at a funeral.

The Queen was riding in an open carriage with the American Ambassador when one of the horses let out an enormous fart.

The Queen turns to the Ambassador and says "My goodness, I do apologise"

"That's OK Ma'am, I thought it was the horse"

The French Ambassador was on a visit to the U.K.

During one stage of the visit, he was travelling in the Royal Carriage with Her Majesty the Queen.

Suddenly, one of the horses let out a tremendously loud and powerful fart.

"Oh dear, one can only apologise!" Said the Queen.

The French Ambassador was shocked. "I thought it was the horse!"

A man is sitting on a train with a baby, who is very ugly.

In fact, the baby is so ugly that a nearby passenger says,

What a hideous baby.

I've never been so insulted in my whole life, the man says, and

hurries to the train conductor to complain.

I'm so sorry, sir, the train conductor says, when the man tells her
he was insulted so terribly. I apologise on behalf of the railway

Please allow me to move you to the first-class cabin, where you
can enjoy a free glass of champagne and I will try to find some cheese for your pet rat.

A plane is sitting at the terminal and is supposed to leave shortly

Departure seems to be taking ages, and the passengers are growing restless. Eventually a staff member says on the PA system:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay to your journey today. During preflight checks the pilot wasn't happy with the noise coming from the left engine, so we've had to delay departure until we can locate a new pilot."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apologise edit puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apologise desktop piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes