Apologise Jokes

Following is our collection of forgive humor and explain one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Apologise puns for adults, dirty regretful jokes or clean regret gags for kids.

There is an abundance of edit jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 34 funniest jokes on apologise. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any desktop witze you can hear about apologise.

The Best jokes about Apologise

When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'.

I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?

One likes men and the other is disabled.

EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

Wipe it off and apologise.

Usually, "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" are used synonymously...

But I wouldn't recommend it at a funeral.

An american and Canadian are having a conversation

The american asks: Is it true that Canadians apologise a lot?

The Canadian thought about it for a while, shook his head, and replied:
I'm sorry, I don't know

I'll just apologise right now...

A man goes to the doctor. He says, "Doc, I think there may be something wrong with the pills you gave me last time."

The doctor peered over his glasses, "Why do you think that, Mr Jones?"

"I keep veering to the left, then to the right."

"I shouldn't worry about that," replies the doctor. "Those are just side effects..."

I apologise for the following joke, it's a long one...


Generally, the phrases "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" are used synonymously...

But not at a funeral.

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three women talking in what sounded like Scottish accent. So I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ladies from Scotland? One of them turned red when she heard me and said, "It's Wales you fool! So I apologized and replied,

"I do apologise, Are you three whales from Scotland?"


What happens when you come across a lion in the jungle?

Wipe it off and politely apologise

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup.

I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another;

Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair into the oven

I never apologise, and I will never explain myself.

I'm sorry, it's just the way I am.

A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

Shouldn't brothels be called "hoe-tels"?

I apologise for any loss of brain cells caused by this joke...

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence

Wuthering Flights

(I do apologise for this)

Heard this one over Christmas, I can only apologise.

Back in the pre-glasnost days a Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about
whether it was raining or snowing.

Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph
whether it's officially raining or snowing.

As the official approached, the man said "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied,and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man
quietly replied,

"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear."

What did the southern side of the tree say to the northern side when it died?

I'm sorry for your moss

I made this up and I apologise. It's awful.

What do you say to a German coeliac?

"Gluten Tag"

I apologise for nothing ;)

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist.

I apologise for any lost brain cells.

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry

(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

What do you do if you come across a camel?

Wipe it off and apologise

How did one Brain apologise to the other?

I'm cerebro

What was the name of the Greek hero who couldn't stop swaying from side to side?


I'm not even going to apologise for this one.

Why is the eunuch always changing?

Because he Varys...

(I apologise for nothing.)

How does SchrΓΆdinger apologise?

Sorry not sorry

If Gal Gadot ever cheated on me

I would apologise

I said the word "gay" in public and a man came up to me angrily.

He said, "I'm a homosexual, and I want you to apologise!"

I said, "I'm sorry you're a homosexual."

Not my joke but still...

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?


They'll just beat the room for being black...

I apologise.

What do you call a Russian ninja?


( I apologise, this is my first ever post so I'm using that as my excuse)

Never Apologise! Never Explain!

Sorry, that's my motto.

If the Japanese are so well mannered that they apologised for a train that departed 20 seconds early...

...why didn't they apologise for WWII?

How muslim parents apologise

Come eat

Why should we accept you into harvard university?

Person: So why should we accept you into harvard university?
Me: i watch rick and morty
Person: oh right this way sir, I apologise

How did the wife apologise after she cheated on her husband?

Sorry I ovary-acted.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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