Apes Jokes

Following is our collection of naacp humor and orangutan one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Apes puns for adults, dirty lions jokes or clean creationist gags for kids.

There is an abundance of immoral jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes on apes. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any humans witze you can hear about apes.

The Best jokes about Apes

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.

Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"

Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.

No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

Goriilla in heat

A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating.

The zookeeper approaches a janitor with a proposition. "Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?" he asks.

The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: "First, I don't want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this." The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.

"Well," says the janitor, "I'm gonna need about a week to come up with the $500."

Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence..

After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.

I guess that pushes women down to 5th.

A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla

who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating.

 

The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500? he asks.

 

The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: First, I don't want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this. The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.

 

Well, says the janitor, I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.

Apparently there's a voluntary organization trying to gain legal rights for apes.

I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.


A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

Where do humans come from?

A young girl asked her Mom, Where do we humans come from?
Her Mom answered, God made Adam and Eve in his image; they had children and that's who we all descend from.

A few days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.
Her Dad answered, Many years ago there were apes and monkeys, who began to walk on two legs like cavemen, and then eventually we humans evolved.

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, Mom, I don't understand. I asked you and you told me we were created by God, I asked Dad and he told me we evolved from apes and monkeys? Which answer is correct?

Her Mom answered, Well, dear, they both are. I was telling you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.

In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar

which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic

What do fashionable apes wear in the jungle?

Dolce and Banana.

It's foolish for humans to try and take back the planet of the apes

Since they are incredibly good at gorilla warfare.

How many unwashed gorillas did Fetty Wap buy?

17 dirty apes.


What kind of apes can you find swinging on vines?

GrApes

What do apes call sunbathing?

Orangutanning.

What separates the men from the apes?

The Mediterranean sea

Evolution tells us we've evolved from apes.

I'm pretty sure we've evolved from crabs. You know why? Have you ever held a pair of tongs and NOT clicked them together? I rest my case.

When apes first began walking upright...

It was a huge step forward.

I was trying to describe monkeys and apes to my mathematician friend..

...as he'd never heard of prime 8's.

So a kid has an atheist mother and a Christian father...

One day he decides to ask his father where people came from and his father says..

" God created Adam and Eve and from them every person was born."

The kid was still a little confused so he asked his mother the same question and she answers...

" Well basically honey we evolved from apes."

The kid is even more confused now and goes back to his father and says," Mom says we evolved from monkeys!!".

The father replies," Son, I was telling you about my family... Your mother's family is none of my concern."

What do you have when you group pandas, apes, and crows?

Embarrassment, Shrewdness, and Murder


I was watching a documentary on the Ferguson, Missouri riots...

... and half way in I realized I was watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Where do baby apes sleep?

Apricots.

I watched the new Men in Black casting a woman and i liked it

Now just waiting for the new Planets of the Apes casting a bunch of lions.

What type of store do Apes own?

Monkey business.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes