Ape Jokes
49 ape jokes and hilarious ape puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about ape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ape Short Jokes
Short ape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ape humour may include short enclosure jokes also.
- "Mom, how did humans come to exist?" "Well, you see, God created Adam and Eve..."
"But dad said we came from apes."
"He was talking about his family, I am telling you about mine." - A group of apes had locked everyone inside of a Himalayan monastery Escape was delayed because of the missing monk key.
- Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence.. After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.
I guess that pushes women down to 5th. - Just saw an ape and a monkey debating what the correct way to refer to them is. I think they're just arguing simiantics.
- A Creationist and Atheist Debate Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt? - Apparently there's a voluntary organization trying to gain legal rights for apes. I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.
- An elephant and an ape go to a party together. They want to bring some snacks: crackers and dips. Which of them buys the crackers? The elephant.
Because the ape always buys the dip. - a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?" "it's Haram, Bae"
- In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic
- What's the difference between Monkeys and Apes? Monkeys are better at telling stories because they have Tales.
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Ape One Liners
Which ape one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ape? I can suggest the ones about gorilla and macaque.
- What do you call a weak ape? A chimpansy
- The internet seems to be going ape over monkey pox. It's a jungle out there!
- What do you call a Polish ape? A Chimpanski.
- I once met an ape who could use both hands... He was Harambedextrous.
- When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers!
- What do you call a simian that lives inside a ventilation system? Duct-ape
- What do you call a purple gorilla? A grape ape.
- What do fashionable apes wear in the jungle? Dolce and Banana.
- What do you call a big ape that likes to barbecue? A grilla'
- What do you call an ape that keeps coming back? A boomerangutan.
- What was the gorilla's favorite month? APE-ril
- Where did the alcohol on the Planet of the Apes come from? monkey bars
- if you liked planet of the apes you might enjoy macaque in uranus
- What do you call an ape who likes Pavlova? A meringue-utan
- What do you call a Harambe tribute sculpture designed by Roy Moore? Statuetory Ape
Howlingly Hilarious Ape Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about ape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chimp jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ape pranks.
What's the difference between a gorilla and your mother ?
A gorilla is ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabits the forests of central Africa, & your mother is a nice lady.
... Also I did not have s**... with a gorilla.
A man out of work...
...sees an opening at the zoo. The head zookeeper says to him "Our ape just died and it's too expensive to replace him. Can you dress up in an ape suit and run around the ape pen? The man, desperate for a job, agrees. The next day, he does his thing as the ape, but while hopping from tree to tree, falls in the lion pen. The lion chases him around for a while, to thunderous applause from the crowd. The lion finally tackles the man and says "Do you want to get us both fired?"
One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books...
One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books--The Bible and Darwin's Origin of the Species. Astonished, he asked the ape, "Not only can you read, you're reading two books at once!?"
"Well," said the chimp, "I'm trying to figure out if I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."
What do you call an ape with a f**...?
k**... Kong.
A man walks into a bar...
As he steps in the tender noticed a big gorilla on his shoulder. Clearly taken aback he asks, Whoa man! Where'd you get that thing? To which the ape says, oh I just brought him in from outside for a drink.
What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?
A cheap p**...
what do you call a golfing ape
hairy putter
From ape to human: 10 million years
From human to ape: 10 beers
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that
a chimp was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the chimp, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?
A Gorilla
A man and his baby ape
A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp.
"I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he's going to live with us just like one of the family. He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."
"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.
"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did."
What type of ape smells like French dessert?
Meringueutan
Why couldn't the Great Ape tell a story?
Because he doesn't have a tail.
What do you call a Black Jew
Roasted ape
What do you call a big ape climbing up the Great Wall of China??
c**....
What do you call an ape that can cook?
Grilla
Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?
They're ape purists
What do you call an ape that always come back?
A boom-orangutan
Cry, the beloved country,
for the unborn ape that is the inheritor of our fear.
What does IS call the evolutionary theory that humans are descended from the ape family?
Boko Harambe
Arrested at the Zoo.
I got arrested at the zoo the other day for having s**... with a baby gorilla. When I asked the officer what I was being charged with he responded "Statutory Ape".
Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich.
Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich.
She takes a bite and cries with joy.
"This is amazing! What kind of sandwich is this?" She asks.
"It cheese ma."
What do you call a clueless ape?
Homi**noidea**
