Apartments Jokes

Following is our collection of abundant humor and appartment one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Apartments puns for adults, dirty rent jokes or clean bungalows gags for kids.

There is an abundance of outdoor jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on apartments. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any homes witze you can hear about apartments.

The Best jokes about Apartments

What do you call cheap apartments in the Middle East?

Low rents of Arabia.

Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.

He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."

Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."

Morning Jew

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".

Sarah replies, "Property? The schmuck had a paper round!"

A deeply in love boy says to his girlfriend ...

"I might not be rich, nor have any money or expensive apartments, and even not be the owner of many companies like my friend Jack, but i love you, and i always will"


She, hugging him tight and already crying answered :


" If you really love me, will you introduce me to your friend Jack please ? "

Mike Anderson was in the hospital...

He knows that his end is imminent, so he gathers his family:

His wife, his daughter and both of his sons.
He also asks for a nurse, two witnesses and his last will to be recorded.

 


Then he starts speaking:
"Brian, my oldest son, I want you to get castle avenue.

Saskia, my daughter, you get the apartments in the East End.

Jamie, my youngest son, you shall take over the office blocks downtown.

And Sarah, my beloved wife, I'll leave you the apartments in Hackney."

 


After Mike had died the nurse said:

"Mrs Anderson, your husband surely had to work hard to gather that much property!"


"Property?", Mrs Anderson replied, "My husband delivered newspapers!"


Some people passed away from toxic fumes in the apartments I constructed.

I was just making the ceilings asbestos I could.

For years I was addicted to the idea of building my own apartments.

The idea consumed me and I eventually developed a complex.

A song about London apartments

Written in A flat.

What happens if you put two apartments together?

Togetherments, because they were "ment" to be together.

I was chatting to this extraordinarily attractive girl the other day...

"What do you do for a living?"' I asked her.

"Real estate, you know, selling houses, apartments etc, What do you have?" she replied.

"At the moment', I replied, "I just happen to have a semi".

What do you call a dog kennel in San Francisco?

Luxury apartments


I've lived in apartments my whole life. In fact I'm seeing a therapist...

I think I have an apartment complex.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes