Hilarious Apartment Buildings Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by
Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the s**... had a paper route!!
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment building?
Ten ants.
I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings
Apparently it's an Apartment Complex
The janitor of my apartment building asked if I wanted to smoke some w**... with her
I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.
The janitor lady in our apartment building wanted me to hang out with her and smoke p**.... I said no.
I tend to avoid high maintenance women.
2 men are robbing an apartment...
...when they hear sirens outside the building.
"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"
"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.
The Homophobics in my apartment building have been boycotting the elevators.
They found out elevators go both ways.
Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.
He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the s**... had a newspaper route."
I joked about how bad our apartment building's foundation was
Even the walls started cracking up
Morning Jew
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The s**... had a paper round!"
Two blondes are having a coffee at the local cafe.
They see a flower delivery truck pull up in front of the apartment building across the street and the delivery guy goes inside. The first blonde remarks "You know, whenever my boyfriend gets me flowers, he expects me to keep my legs spread for a week."
The second blonde replies "Don't you have a vase?"
You can explore apartment buildings reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apartment buildings dad jokes. There are also apartment buildings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I have a difficult time living in buildings near many neighbors
I think I have an apartment complex.
Someone replaced all of the b**... in the elevator in my apartment building...
It was wrong on so many levels...
How do bees let guests into their apartment building?
They *buzz* them in
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building:
Mr. Tepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-Room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?
We got 18 rolls, answers the neighbor.
Two months later the guy news his neighbor again and says, It's really funny - I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.
The neighbor smiles and replies, Yeah, so did we.
A Jew was on his deathbed and told his only son
-Isaac, my son, i am dying. I just want you to know that the 8 houses, 3 apartment buildings, 24 taxis, 17 hotels, 8 shops, 3 swimming pools, the statues, jewelry...
-Are you going to give them to me, dad?
-I'm selling them to you. Very cheap
I recently moved into an apartment building from a house.
The neighbors came knocking at the door at 2am, are all high density living situations full of a**....
Anyway, it totally interupted my drum lesson.
There's an apartment building in my neighborhood that's full of guys who think they're Jesus
It's a Messiah Complex
For years I was addicted to the idea of building my own apartments.
The idea consumed me and I eventually developed a complex.
Maybe I'm too old for pillow forts.
On the one hand, I feel young enough to want to build pillow forts, but on the other hand, I'm a grown up now, with my own adult responsibilities and apartment, so I don't have access to my parents' awesome sofa cushions.
I hear they're building apartment buildings for detectives only
They're calling them Sherlock Homes.
A Chinese man fell down the stairs of his 10-story apartment building.
It was Wong on so many levels.
The pathway next to my apartment building has never been cleaned, it's made out of garbage
Litteralley.
Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?
He went ballistic.
Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.
Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.
Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.
I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression
It's called The Inferiority Complex
What do you call the fear of over complicated apartment buildings?
A complex complex complex.
An apartment building with three floors...
There is an apartment building with three floors. A different family lives on each floor. Floor one a black family. Floor two a Mexican family. Floor three a white family. Unfortunately a tornado destroys the apartment building at 2:00PM, leaving only one surviving family. Which family survived? The white family ofcourse because the kids were at school and their parents were at work.
My apartment building is like me in a bar.
It needs a lift, but in the end there's just a lot of stairs.
Two frogs carry a joke into an apartment building.
One frog turns to the doorman and says, "I don't know where this joke is going."
You know you're a real New Yorker when...
You enter the vestibule of your apartment building, get hit with the stench of u**..., and think to yourself: oh good, today's it's only pee.
I asked a dog's owner from my big society which building he lives in.
He replied, building A-4, apartment 65.
This guy I know is the CEO of a huge company and lives on the top floor of a very tall, 5* apartment building
You could say I've got friends in high places
One construction worker asks another: - Aren't the walls too thin in this apartment building?
- Don't worry about it, there is also wallpaper.
Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis?
The Mexican government has decided to build apartment
I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good.
But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.
