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Apartment Building Jokes

53 apartment building jokes and hilarious apartment building puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about apartment building that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Apartment Building Short Jokes

Short apartment building jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The apartment building humour may include short apartment complex jokes also.

  1. I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings Apparently it's an Apartment Complex
  2. The Homophobics in my apartment building have been boycotting the elevators. They found out elevators go both ways.
  3. I joked about how bad our apartment building's foundation was Even the walls started cracking up
  4. I have a difficult time living in buildings near many neighbors I think I have an apartment complex.
  5. There's an apartment building in my neighborhood that's full of guys who think they're Jesus It's a Messiah Complex
  6. For years I was addicted to the idea of building my own apartments. The idea consumed me and I eventually developed a complex.
  7. I hear they're building apartment buildings for detectives only They're calling them Sherlock Homes.
  8. A Chinese man fell down the stairs of his 10-story apartment building. It was Wong on so many levels.
  9. The pathway next to my apartment building has never been cleaned, it's made out of garbage Litteralley.
  10. I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression It's called The Inferiority Complex

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Apartment Building One Liners

Which apartment building one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with apartment building? I can suggest the ones about apartment and bedroom apartment.

  1. How many ants does it take to fill an apartment building? Ten ants.
  2. How do bees let guests into their apartment building? They *buzz* them in
  3. What do you call the guy who manages my apartment building? The thoooperintendent.
  4. A man pushed his wife off a building... I guess you could say they FELL APART!

Hilarious Apartment Building Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about apartment building you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean condo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make apartment building pranks.

An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"

An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building.

One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left.


The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn.
The first man said:
"Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack."
That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me"
That is to horrific.
He asked the third man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine that I was n**... in a refrigerator..."

A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex.


To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the n**....
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”.
But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk.
He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk.
Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”

Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?

He went ballistic.
Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.
Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.
Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.

3 Men Die and go to Heaven... (Joke dedicated to phoncible)

St. Peter at the gate says that there is only one spot left, and he'll give it to the guy that died in the worst way between the three of them.
So the first guy says, "I came home from work, suspecting my wife of cheating on me. I find no man around, but my wife is disrobed and laying in the bed. Finally, after searching for awhile, I find a man hanging off our balcony. So I hammer him fingers until he falls to his death. Unfortunately, he lands in some bushes and, save for a few cuts and bruises, he's alright. So, as mad as I am, I throw our fridge out over the balcony on top of him. I felt so bad, that I shot myself."
St. Peter says, "My, that's a terrible story. I don't know if these 2 can top that."
So the second guy begins. "Well, I'm doing yoga on my balcony in just my sweatpants. I live on the 23rd floor of my apartment building. Well, due to an odd series of yoga stretches, I fall. Luckily, I caught the floor below me. And here comes someone to help me up! But then he starts hammering my fingers! So I fall, thinking this is it. But I land in some bushes and I'm OK! And that's when I see a refrigerator..."
St. Peter is stunned, thinking no one can top this story. So the third guy looks at the others and says,
"Picture this. You're n**... in a refrigerator."

A guy is talking to two women in a bar...

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be
conjoined twins and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a t**... in the corner? I'd love to play your
t**...."
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment
building.
One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "I don't know...do you think he'd remember us?"

Three guys were at the gates of Heaven.

God says to each of them, "If you tell me how you died, I'll let you into Heaven."
The First guy looks at God and says, "I live in an eight story apartment building and my apartment in on the seventh floor on the west side of the building. I had left work early because I had an assumption that my wife was cheating on me.
"So I had made it home and saw my wife in bed, clothed in only a bath robe, and she was sweating. I searched around for the guy she was cheating on me with, but I couldn't find him.
"So I go outside on my balcony and I see a pair of hands hanging from the balcony. I just knew that was him! I tried stepping on his hands but his grip was too strong; so I go inside, which is the kitchen, and tip my refrigerator over and push it off the edge. Unfortunately, my leg was caught by the cord and I fall to my death."
God allows the man into Heaven.
The Second man, furious, says, "I live in an eight story apartment on the top floor. I am a business man. I was outside sorting paper work when a gust of wind blows my papers in the air. As I reach for them, the fence to my balcony breaks and I was hanging on for dear life a floor below when this idiot steps on my hands and throws a refrigerator at me!"
God allows him into Heaven.
The Third guy looks at God and says, "Picture this... You're in a refrigerator... n**....."

Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.

He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the s**... had a newspaper route."

Morning Jew

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The s**... had a paper round!"

An elderly woman called the police to report that a man was in the apartment across the courtyard, dancing around his apartment with the windows open, completely n**...

When the officers arrived at her address, she led them to the window overlooking the courtyard and pointed across to a window on the building across the way.
"Ma'am... I'm sorry, but I can't see anything," said one of the officers.
The lady responded, "Here, stand up on this step stool and look..."

A man meets two women at a bar, who happen to be siamese twins.

A man meets two women at a bar, who happen to be siamese twins. Their names are Suzie and Cheryl. He buys them a few drinks and decides he wants to take them home. They agree. A few hours and a couple drinks later, he starts to make love to Suzie. Halfway through, he realizes that Cheryl might get bored of watching and waiting for her turn so he asks her, "Is there anything you would like to do?"
Cheryl replies with, "Is that a t**... in the corner? I've love to play that!"
The night continues with the man making love to one of the twins while her sister plays the t**... right next to them.
A few weeks later, the siamese twins are walking down the street of the man's apartment. As they walk toward the apartment building, Suzie asks if they should go say hello.
"I don't know Suz, do you think he'll remember us?"

An apartment building with three floors...

There is an apartment building with three floors. A different family lives on each floor. Floor one a black family. Floor two a Mexican family. Floor three a white family. Unfortunately a tornado destroys the apartment building at 2:00PM, leaving only one surviving family. Which family survived? The white family ofcourse because the kids were at school and their parents were at work.

My wife keeps saying how she's 'addicted' to things...

Every now and then she says things like "Oh my god, I'm so addicted to shoes" or "You won't believe how addicted to candy I am".
One day, I was driving with her on the way home from work and thought that I should teach her a valuable lesson. So I started to drive through the bad side of town, and stopped in front of a decrepit apartment building where there was a j**... sitting down on the stoop in front, staring into space. I rolled down my window and pointed at the frail drugged-up man and said "Honey, *THAT* is what an addict looks like... Thin."

Maybe I'm too old for pillow forts.

On the one hand, I feel young enough to want to build pillow forts, but on the other hand, I'm a grown up now, with my own adult responsibilities and apartment, so I don't have access to my parents' awesome sofa cushions.

I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good.

But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.

Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis?

The Mexican government has decided to build apartment

story of Robert who live with 2 friends in floor no 600

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

2 men are robbing an apartment...

...when they hear sirens outside the building.
"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"
"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.

You know you're a real New Yorker when...

You enter the vestibule of your apartment building, get hit with the stench of u**..., and think to yourself: oh good, today's it's only pee.

Two frogs carry a joke into an apartment building.

One frog turns to the doorman and says, "I don't know where this joke is going."

A blonde and a brunette are watching 10 o'clock news...

A man is standing on the roof of his apartment building, threatening to jump. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you $50 he jumps!"
The blonde agrees, and the two continue watching until finally, the man jumps to his death.
The blonde pulls out her wallet and goes to hand the brunette the money, but the brunette refuses.
"I have to be honest, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news so I knew he was going to jump."
The blonde replies "I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd jump again!"

One construction worker asks another: - Aren't the walls too thin in this apartment building?

- Don't worry about it, there is also wallpaper.

What do you call the fear of over complicated apartment buildings?

A complex complex complex.

A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building:

Mr. Tepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-Room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?
We got 18 rolls, answers the neighbor.
Two months later the guy news his neighbor again and says, It's really funny - I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.
The neighbor smiles and replies, Yeah, so did we.

My apartment building is like me in a bar.

It needs a lift, but in the end there's just a lot of stairs.

This guy I know is the CEO of a huge company and lives on the top floor of a very tall, 5* apartment building

You could say I've got friends in high places

The janitor lady in our apartment building wanted me to hang out with her and smoke p**.... I said no.

I tend to avoid high maintenance women.

Two blondes are having a coffee at the local cafe.

They see a flower delivery truck pull up in front of the apartment building across the street and the delivery guy goes inside. The first blonde remarks "You know, whenever my boyfriend gets me flowers, he expects me to keep my legs spread for a week."
The second blonde replies "Don't you have a vase?"

I asked a dog's owner from my big society which building he lives in.

He replied, building A-4, apartment 65.

A Jew was on his deathbed and told his only son

-Isaac, my son, i am dying. I just want you to know that the 8 houses, 3 apartment buildings, 24 taxis, 17 hotels, 8 shops, 3 swimming pools, the statues, jewelry...
-Are you going to give them to me, dad?
-I'm selling them to you. Very cheap

The janitor of my apartment building asked if I wanted to smoke some w**... with her

I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the s**... had a paper route!!

Someone replaced all of the b**... in the elevator in my apartment building...

It was wrong on so many levels...

I recently moved into an apartment building from a house.

The neighbors came knocking at the door at 2am, are all high density living situations full of a**....
Anyway, it totally interupted my drum lesson.