The Best 34 Apartment Building Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Apartment Building jokes. There are some apartment building jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these apartment building puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Apartment Building Jokes and Puns

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the schmuck had a paper route!!

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings

Apparently it's an Apartment Complex

The janitor of my apartment building asked if I wanted to smoke some weed with her

I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.

The janitor lady in our apartment building wanted me to hang out with her and smoke pot. I said no.

I tend to avoid high maintenance women.

2 men are robbing an apartment...

...when they hear sirens outside the building.

"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"

"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.


Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.

He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."

Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."

I joked about how bad our apartment building's foundation was

Even the walls started cracking up

Morning Jew

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".

Sarah replies, "Property? The schmuck had a paper round!"

Two blondes are having a coffee at the local cafe.

They see a flower delivery truck pull up in front of the apartment building across the street and the delivery guy goes inside. The first blonde remarks "You know, whenever my boyfriend gets me flowers, he expects me to keep my legs spread for a week."
The second blonde replies "Don't you have a vase?"

I have a difficult time living in buildings near many neighbors

I think I have an apartment complex.

Someone replaced all of the buttons in the elevator in my apartment building...

It was wrong on so many levels...

You can explore apartment building reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apartment building dad jokes. There are also apartment building puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do bees let guests into their apartment building?

They *buzz* them in

A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building:

Mr. Tepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-Room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?

We got 18 rolls, answers the neighbor.

Two months later the guy news his neighbor again and says, It's really funny - I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.

The neighbor smiles and replies, Yeah, so did we.

A Jew was on his deathbed and told his only son

-Isaac, my son, i am dying. I just want you to know that the 8 houses, 3 apartment buildings, 24 taxis, 17 hotels, 8 shops, 3 swimming pools, the statues, jewelry...

-Are you going to give them to me, dad?

-I'm selling them to you. Very cheap

There's an apartment building in my neighborhood that's full of guys who think they're Jesus

It's a Messiah Complex

For years I was addicted to the idea of building my own apartments.

The idea consumed me and I eventually developed a complex.

Maybe I'm too old for pillow forts.

On the one hand, I feel young enough to want to build pillow forts, but on the other hand, I'm a grown up now, with my own adult responsibilities and apartment, so I don't have access to my parents' awesome sofa cushions.

I hear they're building apartment buildings for detectives only

They're calling them Sherlock Homes.

A Chinese man fell down the stairs of his 10-story apartment building.

It was Wong on so many levels.


The pathway next to my apartment building has never been cleaned, it's made out of garbage

Litteralley.

Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?

He went ballistic.

Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.

Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.

Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.

I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression

It's called The Inferiority Complex

What do you call the fear of over complicated apartment buildings?

A complex complex complex.

An apartment building with three floors...

There is an apartment building with three floors. A different family lives on each floor. Floor one a black family. Floor two a Mexican family. Floor three a white family. Unfortunately a tornado destroys the apartment building at 2:00PM, leaving only one surviving family. Which family survived? The white family ofcourse because the kids were at school and their parents were at work.

My apartment building is like me in a bar.

It needs a lift, but in the end there's just a lot of stairs.

Two frogs carry a joke into an apartment building.

One frog turns to the doorman and says, "I don't know where this joke is going."

You know you're a real New Yorker when...

You enter the vestibule of your apartment building, get hit with the stench of urine, and think to yourself: oh good, today's it's only pee.

I asked a dog's owner from my big society which building he lives in.

He replied, building A-4, apartment 65.

This guy I know is the CEO of a huge company and lives on the top floor of a very tall, 5* apartment building

You could say I've got friends in high places

One construction worker asks another: - Aren't the walls too thin in this apartment building?

- Don't worry about it, there is also wallpaper.

Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis?

The Mexican government has decided to build apartment

I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good.

But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.

An elderly woman called the police to report that a man was in the apartment across the courtyard, dancing around his apartment with the windows open, completely naked

When the officers arrived at her address, she led them to the window overlooking the courtyard and pointed across to a window on the building across the way.

"Ma'am... I'm sorry, but I can't see anything," said one of the officers.

The lady responded, "Here, stand up on this step stool and look..."

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building.

One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apartment building jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apartment building piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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