Following is our collection of Anymore jokes which are very funny. There are some anymore now jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these anymore nope puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A reptile dysfunction.
I would not have to sell cocaine anymore.
...until he found a way to overcome this problem.
His friends noticed the dramatic change.
"You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, Tom replied.
'I haven't had a single problem since."
"A thousand a week," said Doug. "You can't afford that, how are you going to pay him?"
"Tom replied, "That's his problem."
I told him to grow a pear.
...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
I'm moving the fridge to my room.
Soon thereafter, they had a baby Transformer. But at that moment when they had a baby, they suddenly could not be seen anymore.
They had become Transparents.
Because days of fuchsia passed
An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.
The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."
Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore.
You can't even say "black paint" anymore.
You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".
You can explore anymore wouldnt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anymore ads dad jokes. There are also anymore puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore.
Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore.
A dead epileptic
Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic?
Mom: Of course not.
Son: Well neither would he.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
I had to put my foot down
and all of a sudden she is not your friend anymore.
You can't even say "Black paint" anymore, you have to say "Jamal would you please kindly help me paint my fence."
I can't see an end.
I have no control.
I don't think there's any escape.
I don't even have a home anymore.
Time for a new keyboard.
Wife: What did he say?
Bob: You're fired
just dim down the lights and put on a couple horror movies. After a while, you won't feel like you are alone anymore.
An old man is walking in the hospital and talks to himself:
-aquarius?... no, no no... was it gemini?... naaah...
young doctor cant stand it anymore and walks to him:
-cancer grandpa, you got cancer!
On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward.
Guess I won't be needing those anymore.
You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".
They wouldn't turn me down anymore.
Prostitute: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"
Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"
She undresses and shows him.
Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"
Prostitute: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"
Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"
Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time?
Mom: No, Never!
Son: Well neither would he!
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.
See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.
*
Apparently parking zones disease is a real thing.
So the sharks aren't hungry anymore.
...so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Because we're not allowed to own people anymore.
...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him.
Last night she said she doesn't think we should see each other anymore.
She was busted for conch-traband.
Won't beheading there anymore
...finds his seat and sees an elderly fellow in the next row with an empty seat beside him. They get to chatting and he asks if the seat is taken:
"Not anymore. My wife and I used to go to all the games together, but she died. This is the first game I've been to since!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Couldn't you give the ticket to a friend, or a family member?"
"Nah. They're all at the funeral."
Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
1. Steve
On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."
and he says, "God, we can now clone humans, make life, and take care of ourselves and we don't need you anymore."
God laughed and said: "You think? So show me, how you can make humans and life!"
The scientist agreed, reached down, grabbed a full hand of soil to start making his human, when God promptly stops him and says, "Whoa not so fast, use your own dirt."
I'm a 26 year old one.
Because I couldn't raise them anymore.
Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano
Is that my mistakes pile up until the point I cant do anything about them anymore
I mean, I have no idea where pizzas live in the wild
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...
Well he said I should not have McDonalds anymore, but I know what he meant.
It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.
Now I have to say "Tyrone please paint the fence."
Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."
A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.
I keep seeing the same jokes on here
It's like beating a dead horse and i don't want to give him anymore video ideas.
The second one says, "I'll also have a glass of water. Why are you referring to it so strangely. We're not at work anymore."
The first scientist goes into the bathroom and cries. His assassination attempt has failed.
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
I didn't even know it was her birthday!
Guess I can't go on tumblr anymore.
I won't smoke any less either though.
My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:
Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."
Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."
Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"
Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"
Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"
Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."
Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."
I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).
She replied, "don't feel bad, it's not your fault!"
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
It is one job where....
Either i'm right.
Or suddenly its not my problem anymore.
Just bought a T.V. and it said, "Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where that is!!
I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.
He wont be needing it anymore
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
Melania answers...
He says: Can I talk to the president?
Melania: Sorry, but mr. Trump isn't the president anymore...
He waits for a few minutes and rings again: Can I talk to the president?
Melania: Sorry, but mr. Trump isn't the president anymore...
He does this a couple of times until
Melania: Hey mister! I TOLD YOU, DONALD ISN'T THE PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!
Guy: I know... it just great to hear it again and again...
I didn't do them, I just don't want them on my list anymore
It used to be killer, but no one gets it anymore.
The downside is that I'm not allowed in Samsung stores anymore.
He sighs and says "a tuna sandwich again? I'm getting tired of this."
The next day during the lunch break he takes out his lunch bag, opens it, looks inside and again he sighs, saying "every single day for lunch, a tuna sandwich. I really can't take it anymore."
His friend says to him "if you're so unhappy with the same tuna sandwich every day, why don't you just ask your wife to make something else for you?"
The guy replies "I'm the one who makes the lunch."
A reptile dysfunction
I'm not allowed to have Sharpies in the house anymore.
I know right where it is. They just don't want me there anymore
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anymore girlfriend jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working anymore critism piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.