The Best 35 Any Good Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Any Good jokes. There are some any good terrible jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these any good nice puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Any Good Jokes and Puns

When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag

Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Trump tests positive for COVID-19.

He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."

"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

jokes about any good

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."


Son In Iraq I killed 15 people.

Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad:Never said I was a good one

I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.

If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

Antiwork did an interview on Fox News to try to create a good public image of their sub

It didn't work.

Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once

Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"

He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?

He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!

When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?

Very good, she replies.

And what happened to my present?

Which present? she asks.

The one I asked for - an Italian girl!

Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.

You can explore any good important reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean any good cheerful dad jokes. There are also any good puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A good percentage of my friends are Nazis...

0% of my friends are Nazis, and thats a good percentage.

Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…

2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

They said i couldn't be good at poetry because i'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.

A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...

The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.

The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."

The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."

My wife texted "I'm leaving you"

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."

I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."

I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand job"

A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la


A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?
He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?
Very good, she replies.
And what happened to my present?
Which present? she asks.
The one I asked for - an Italian girl!
Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.

My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.


He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.

My wife says we should split up because I keep pretending I'm a detective

I said good idea, we can cover more ground that way

In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad

I guess it will be 5050



I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time.

When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.

I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. Whats the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.

Me: What are you trying to say?

Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies."

I said, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids

How can you tell good cops from bad cops?

Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.


Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed Trump Sucks in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

It's a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida as opposed to Florida State

Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night

although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?

i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home

apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine.

It's a pretty good Β΅-boat.


A college engineering student shows up with a new bike

"Woah where did you get such a nice bike?" his fellow engineering student asked.

"I was walking down the street last night and this girl on her bike came up to me started taking off her clothes and said 'its all yours' so I just took the bike" he said.

His friend replied "Good choice bro the clothes probably didn't even fit you"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the any good funny jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working any good eating boogers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes