The Best 15 Anxiously Jokes

Following is our collection of Anxiously jokes which are very funny. There are some anxiously longingly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these anxiously dejectedly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Anxiously Jokes and Puns

"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.

"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.

Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I say "Hi, Charles"

Graveyard shortcut

A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.

He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.

Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"

The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."

A woman is pregnant with twins.

A woman is pregnant with twins. During her last month of pregnancy, she falls into a coma. When she wakes up, the doctor tells her that she had a girl and a boy, and that her brother claimed them until she came to. Immediately, she panics at the thought of her brother supervising her newborns.

"What did he name them?" She asks anxiously.

"He named the girl Denise", the doctor says.

That's not too bad, she thought, relieved. "What did he name my son?"

"Denephew."

A woman is at the doctor's office, anxiously awaiting the results of a test.

The doctor says, "You appear to have vasovagal syncope."
She fainted.

Family members anxiously await news outside of the ICU

Dr Schrodinger :" there's good news and there's bad news."

"What do you mean by that?" Asks the wife.

Dr Schrodinger *takes a look inside* : " I'm afraid your husband is dead."

wife *sobbing* : "But then what's the good news?"

Dr Schrodinger: "What good news?"


Higgs Boson walks into a church during Sunday services...

...and the priest immediately stops preaching and says "We dont like your kind around here. You are not welcome in this church.". The whole church, already silent, waits anxiously when Higgs replies "Why not? You can't have mass without me!"

A woman sees the news, and anxiously calls her husband.

He picks it up,

Matthew, are you driving home from work?

Yes! At least I'm trying!

Well be careful out there. There's some idiot on the interstate going in the wrong direction.

Honey... everyone's going in the wrong direction!"

Knock Knock

A man is sitting at home watching TV when he hears a knock at the door. Begrudgingly, he hits pause on the remote and makes his way to the door. Once at the door, he hears a woman's voice from outside.
Woman: Knock knock!
Man: Who's there?
Woman: Cliffhanger.
Man: Cliffhanger who?
The man stood at the door for hours, anxiously awaiting a response, but there was none.

4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...

... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies

The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."

The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."

The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"

The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure, it was just the same with our Pancake!"

A reverend assembles the whole neighborhood for a meeting. After everyone has sat anxiously, he says "You are probably wondering what I'm going to be speaking on"

"Im going to be speaking on a stage."

A man is sitting in the doctor's office...

A man is anxiously waiting in the doctor's office.

When the doctor arrives, he looks at the patient's chart and says " Sir, you need to stop masturbating".

Confused the man asks "why?"

The doctor replies..."I need to examine you".

You can explore anxiously cautiously reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anxiously eagerly dad jokes. There are also anxiously puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A black piece of tarmac is having a quiet drink at the pub...

...when the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac comes storming in loud and aggressively.

The piece of black tarmac turns to the barman anxiously: *"Don't even think about serving him!"*

*"Why not?"*, the barman asks.

*"Isn't it obvious? He's a freaking cycle path!"*

I was diagnosed with cancer today.

Anxiously, I asked the doctor if I needed a chemo. "No worries," he calmed me down, "it's terminal."

You can tune a piano...

But you can't tuna fish!

sorry to disappoint the people that were anxiously waiting for an incest joke.....

A thirsty vampire is walking along in a deserted town...

when he sees another vampire with blood all over his mouth and yells:
"Hey! where did you get that blood?!!"
The other vampire replies:
"See that traffic light over there?"
"Yes I do!" he exclaims anxiously
"Well, I didn't" says the other vampire

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anxiously impatiently jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working anxiously husband piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes