Following is our collection of anguish humor and severe one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Anxiety puns for adults, dirty concern jokes or clean anxious gags for kids.
There is an abundance of hypochondria jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes on anxiety. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any worry witze you can hear about anxiety.
I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.
You're not alone.
Oh, wait. He just went to the kitchen to grab some coffee.
it'll leave me too.
But my boss doesn't like to be touched.
Whenever I'm on stage people keep laughing at me
Past tense.
**TOWN AND COUNTRY**
The young woman who was boarding at the farmhouse expressed to the farmer her anxiety at the savage way in which the cow regarded her.
It must be on account of that red blouse you've got on, miss, answered the farmer.
Dear me! exclaimed the girl. Of course, it's out of fashion; but I had no idea a country cow would notice it.
(From the London Journal, July 2nd, 1904)
*"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*
*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*
He began seeing a psychiatrist because of hispanic attacks.
I was always suffering from chronic anxiety I was about to be arrested for illegal possession.
he seeks out the help of a therapist, who eventually has the man committed to an asylum. at the asylum, they work with him for months, until finally they have convinced him that he is NOT a kernel of corn, but in fact a man. they sign him out and he walks out the door, but not more than five minutes go by before he comes running back in.
"help! help!" he's screaming, "there's a flock of pigeons in the parking lot - they're going to eat me!"
exasperated, the shrink says to him, "but you have nothing to fear - don't you know you're a man, not a kernel of corn?"
"well of course I know that," he says, "but do the pigeons?"
A tree had been filled with anxiety and decides to see a psychologist.
"I just don't know what to do," the tree said. "Every year I feel very anxious during fall and winter."
"Hmm, interesting," the psychologist said, "And how do you feel when spring comes?"
The tree smiles, "Releaved!""
But I'm afraid they won't accept me.
It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people
[I drink ALOT the night before. I'm so hungover, dying doesn't seem that bad of an idea.]
Nevermind, she just returned from the shops.
CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Who's living with stress induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS!
If wanting to drop out is something you wish...CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Then take a long nap and watch some Netflix!
COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEEEEGGEEEEE STUUUDEEEEEEEENTSSSSSS!
"Exactly." -everyone with anxiety
over where I'm going to get my next bag of weed
A blond gets into her car while an incredibly powerful winter storm surrounds her. She starts the car and puts it in drive when suddenly her anxiety sets in. The horrible weather begins to worry her; she fears that she won't ever get home in it.
It's at this time (and through a stroke of luck) she notices a snowplow in the distance up ahead. After a huge sigh of relief she keeps pace with the plow feeling it's safety as it clears the snow in front of her.
Multiple hours pass by when eventually the plow truck pulls over. The driver gets out and approaches her car window. When she rolls it down, he asks: "Why have you been following me for so long? Are you okay?" She replies: "My dad had always told me to follow a snowplow in a blizzard when the roads feel unsafe."
The snowplow driver shrugs his shoulders and replies: "Okay... well I'm finished with this parking lot, I'm heading over to do the one across the street next."
Because they have a hard time fitting in
Because it's part of the nervous system
Side effects of life are include depression, anxiety, pain both emotional and physical, shortness of breath, physical and mental deterioration, weariness, sleepiness, insomnia, thought of suicide, and misery. Prolonged use may result in death.
I don't
Er, uhm ... Uuuh, I'll send you a text later.
I told her she should worry if she's not feeling anxious about it
I was worried shitless.
He Had Borderline Anxiety.
Don't Break the Ice
I hate rock climbing
A worrier.
I said, Are you worried about it?
After returning home from their honeymoon, the husband notices a photo of a man on his new wife's bedside table.
At first, he really doesn't give it much thought. But after a month or so he begins to stress about it. It was causing him so much anxiety that he finally decides to ask her about it.
"Is this your ex-husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Another boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no," she answers.
"Well, who in the heck is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."
He says it clams him down.
No one showed up.
My therapist says I have truss issues.
Depression, anxiety, and dyslexia.
The policeman notices the drivers red eyes, and the smell of cannabis on his breath, so asks him if he's been smoking pot
The teenager says "Yeah, but I've got a prescription for it"
"What's the prescription for? inquires the officer
"Anxiety, but I only get it when a cop pulls me over"
I'm basically a walking NERVOUS system
Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.
Presumably because they get performance anxiety when diners are watching.
Steal his anxiety medication that stops hispanic attacks
General anxiety
Constant Anxiety
Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.
It makes me feel better being taller than everyone else.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.