The Best 79 Ants Jokes
Following is our collection of Ants jokes which are very funny. There are some ants anty jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ants buoyant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Ants Jokes and Puns
If you have nine ants in your apartment, that's a problem.
But if you have ten ants, just ask them for rent.
How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?
dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants
What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Antelopes
What did the ant say when he walked into the insurance office?
Insure ants?
An anteater named Jack was persuading a frog named Webby to eat the ants from the anthill.
Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?
It said "twist to open"
What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?
Ant-Eye Biotics
(Dad joke, I know)
Went to the hardware store today...
I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the guy behind the counter if this was good for ants.
Old man says "nope, it'll kill em"
Do you know why consuming ants is good for your health?
It's because they have anty-bodies!
You can explore ants antelopes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ants larvae dad jokes. There are also ants puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How to deal with an anthill
Next time you have an anthill problem, here is what you do;
Grab yourself a can of black spray paint and cover the entire anthill in it. Then grab a stick or something of the sort and stir the paint in. Once all the ants realize they now live in a black neighborhood, they stop working and start shooting each other.
What is worse than ants in your pants?
......... Uncles.
Why are all ants British?
Because they colonize.
How many ants does it take to rent a house?
Ten ants
Ants Dancing
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
How many ants does it take to own an apartment?
10 . It requires tenants to own an apartment.
How come ants don't go to the church?
They are in sects.
Friends are like ants
if you burn them, they die.
What did the aardvark say to Noah?
What do you mean you only brought two ants!?
Patient: Doctor every night i see ants playing football
Doctor: It's okay take these pills
Patient: No way tomorrow is the final
Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is a very useful information..
If you're moving and you need help carrying a potato chip across town.
Banks have been using insects to adjust customers' balances and deal with financial issues.
They're the account ants
How many ants can you fit inside an apartment ?
Ten-ants !
What's an ants favourite collectible item
Antiques
What do army ants have in common with masturbating dolphins?
Both come in waves...
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps
Crosseyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants
I've come to tell you a lie that is true.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys rose up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out knives and shot each other.
Two deaf policemen heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Do you know why ants are so healthy?
Because they have little antibodies...
How can you tell male from female ants?
Throw them in a bucket of water; if it floats, it's buoyant.
I'm tired of people talking about how strong ants are.
I can pick up a leaf too, who cares.
An ant walks into a bar with his good friend Mister No, who is not an ant.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We only serve ants here."
The ant says, "But this is my good friend Mister No."
The bartender says, "Sorry, but I don't take No for an ant, sir."
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies
Why don't ants ever get sick?
They all have those anty-bodies.
What do you call bugs that handle your money?
Fine ants.
Scientists are testing new mind reading methods with ants
It sounds like a cool psy-ants project
I mistakenly thought there were 11 ants illegally squatting in an apartment
Turns out they were ten-ants.
How come ants don't get sick?
...because they have lil' anty-bodies
*runs away*
There were three ants in a queue. The first ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". The second ant said "there's one ant behind me". The third ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". How is this possible ?
The 3rd ant lied.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Kevin Spacey.
You hear about bees being wiped out by the millions - why don't ants get sick?
Because they have little antybodies.
For everyone college I apply to, I also send them an ant farm.
That way, if I don't get an acceptance letter, I can still hope for an accept ants letter.
Who are the bookkeepers of the insect world?
Account ants.
Why did the ants wait until the bear's favourite song came on before stealing his jelly?
Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"
What do you call a bunch of ants on adderall?
Stimul-ants.
Ants can float on water using their toes. But why can't larger ants float on milk?
Because they lack toes in taller ants.
The Oxymoron poem
Ladies and Gentlemen; hobos and Tramps; bug eyed mosquitos and legged ants: I come here before you to stand behind you to tell you a story I know nothing of.
One cold dark day in the middle of the night two dead boys stood up to fight, back to back they face each other, drew their swords and shot each-other! The deaf policeman heard this noise and came and killed those two dead boys.
Now if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it to.
What do you call a couple of ants sharing a slice of pizza in Italy?
Romance
Do ants have dicks?
No.
Cuz then they would be uncles.
My Biology teacher told me ants are female
The males are called uncles
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment
Tenants
Why are all the ant larvae confused?
Because all their uncles are ants!
Why was the ant confused?
Because all his uncles were also ants.
Jungle animals started a softball league...
The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."
What's worse then ants in ur pants?
... uncle's
How many ants do you need to rent out a place?
Tenants
What's worse than a million ants in your pants?
Uncles
What do you call a bunch of carpenter ants?
A construction site.
Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?
Cause *truants* don't go to school!
(I came up with this right now)
Why don't ants get the virus
Because they have antibodys
10 ants were looking for a new place to live...
The 1 ant, 2 ant, and 3 ant bought houses in the country.
The 4 ant, 5 ant, and 6 ant bought houses in the city.
The 7 ant, 8 ant, and 9 ant bought houses at the beach.
The 10 ant decided to rent.
How can you tell female ants from male ants?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles
Why can't ants catch Covid-19?
Because they have tiny anty-bodies
Why don't ants get sick?
They have anty bodies.
Do you know what worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles in your pants
What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants?
Ignorant.
Do you know why ants are never sick?
It's because they have little anty bodies
So I was in my room and I saw a group of ten ants just running around frantically. I felt badly for them so I made a small house for them. out of a cardboard box.
This technically makes me their landlord and they are my.....
Tenants
Why can't ants get coronavirus
Because they have little anty-bodies
Two men are sitting at a table.
One guy says, "I have ants"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but my ants are taller than yours."
So the first guy now says 'Well, I have a tube of glue!",
To which the second guy replies, "And... I have an entire tin of it."
Finally, the first guy says "I have bread."
Unable to beat the first guy any longer, the second guy says "I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants."
A joke originally told in Arabic
The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.
"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"
"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."
The man refuses though and says:
"Can I take it tomorrow though? Today is the finals"
What's worst than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Why were the ants unaffected by the covid virus?
They have lil anty bodies.
Went to the hardware store today. I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the assistant if it was any good for ants....
"Nope" said the man, "it will kill them."
It's been scientifically proven ants can't get Covid-19
They have little antibodies
Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?
Because they're not tenants
My friend stepped in a mound of fire ants as he was dropping off his ballot last night...
He was telling me how his vision got blurry and he could hardly walk.
I first asked him if he was ok. Then I said, "that sounds like voterinterfireants to me".
What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants?
My ice cream cone. =(
*Inspired by actual events.
What do you call a group of rebellious ants?
Protestants
Which insect is the best at what it does?
Most people think ants or bees, but ya know...flies have really been on top of shit lately
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ants honeybees jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ants bees piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.