Following is our collection of antelopes humor and anty one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Ants puns for adults, dirty larvae jokes or clean buoyant gags for kids.
There is an abundance of honeybees jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 79 funniest jokes on ants. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bees witze you can hear about ants.
...because they have lil' anty-bodies
*runs away*
Ten ants
Because they have little anty-bodies
I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the guy behind the counter if this was good for ants.
Old man says "nope, it'll kill em"
Tenants
Ten-ants
Cause *truants* don't go to school!
(I came up with this right now)
......... Uncles.
Because they have tiny anty-bodies
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
Turns out they were ten-ants.
It's because they have anty-bodies!
Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"
They all have those anty-bodies.
They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles
Antelopes
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps
Crosseyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants
I've come to tell you a lie that is true.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys rose up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out knives and shot each other.
Two deaf policemen heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
HOW TO GET RID OF ANTS
My buddy from Atlanta Georgia swears this works.
Go to Home Depot or Walmart and buy a can of black spray paint.
Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.
The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the mounds.
Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.
Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.
Throw them in a bucket of water; if it floats, it's buoyant.
Stimul-ants.
10 . It requires tenants to own an apartment.
dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss
They are in sects.
Because they have little antybodies.
Doctor: It's okay take these pills
Patient: No way tomorrow is the final
It said "twist to open"
The 1 ant, 2 ant, and 3 ant bought houses in the country.
The 4 ant, 5 ant, and 6 ant bought houses in the city.
The 7 ant, 8 ant, and 9 ant bought houses at the beach.
The 10 ant decided to rent.
No.
Cuz then they would be uncles.
if you burn them, they die.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We only serve ants here."
The ant says, "But this is my good friend Mister No."
The bartender says, "Sorry, but I don't take No for an ant, sir."
The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."
Ladies and Gentlemen; hobos and Tramps; bug eyed mosquitos and legged ants: I come here before you to stand behind you to tell you a story I know nothing of.
One cold dark day in the middle of the night two dead boys stood up to fight, back to back they face each other, drew their swords and shot each-other! The deaf policeman heard this noise and came and killed those two dead boys.
Now if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it to.
Kevin Spacey.
Because they colonize.
...They meet with the rental agent and are discussing details of the property. One of the ants says "so this ant next to me is Dave, we met in university - great guy. Sarah, Jack and Bobby over there I met through work at the ant hill two trees over, we used to go out leaf hunting together - so much fun. Jackson over here I met at my Cousin's birthday where he got up on a table and started dancing. Amanda here came from interstate to stay wi...."
"ENOUGH!" shouts the rental agent. "What has any of this got to do with your rental application??"
"Oh" the ant replied "I was just giving you our ten ant history"
Uncles
Romance
Because all his uncles were also ants.
Account ants.
Next time you have an anthill problem, here is what you do;
Grab yourself a can of black spray paint and cover the entire anthill in it. Then grab a stick or something of the sort and stir the paint in. Once all the ants realize they now live in a black neighborhood, they stop working and start shooting each other.
But if you have ten ants, just ask them for rent.
The males are called uncles
Because they have little antibodies...
Tenants
They're the account ants
Ten-ants !
... uncle's
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
If you're moving and you need help carrying a potato chip across town.
Ant-Eye Biotics
(Dad joke, I know)
It sounds like a cool psy-ants project
I can pick up a leaf too, who cares.
Because all their uncles are ants!
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Because they lack toes in taller ants.
Because they have antibodys
Antiques
What do you mean you only brought two ants!?
That way, if I don't get an acceptance letter, I can still hope for an accept ants letter.
The 3rd ant lied.
Both come in waves...
A construction site.
Fine ants.
Insure ants?
…because the other is a buoy ant
A man, riddled with fear, is in the middle of his first flying lesson. With a shaky voice, weak knees and pants that once were dry he shudders to the instructor "Boy, those people look like ants!!" and the instructor reluctantly replies "That's because they are. We haven't left yet Carl."
3 Ants are competing in a race. Ant #1 wins and exclaims, "I'm in 1st place". Shortly after ant #2 ends the race and says, "I finished in 2nd place". Eventually ant #3 finishes the race and states "I won the race".
How is this possible?
Ant #3 is a liar.
Anty depressants.
MicroScope
Uncles
Just Ants.
Cr
Ensure ants
They're blowing in the wind.
A constANT.
Uncles
Give them an antacid
They're really quite the noose ants.
because they have ANTi-freeze
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.