Cheerful Fun Antivaxxer Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
Only anti-vaxxers will get this
Measles
Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!
Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles
So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.
So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets
What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?
Needle them
What's the best type of shot for an anti-vaxxer?
A 9mm.
I met an Anti-Vaxxer today...
Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?
The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids
Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children
They'll go viral in no time.
Why did the twenty year old anti-vaxxer freak out?
She was having a midlife crisis
Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry
He was having a midlife crisis
Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?
He's dead
You can explore antivaxxer thermometers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean antivaxxer aquarius dad jokes. There are also antivaxxer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I don't get anti-vaxxers.
If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!
Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.
Here's to antivaxxers...
The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge
Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
"Life is way too short to be taken seriously."
An anti-vaxxer said to her kid.
Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?
They don't approve of shots.
Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?
Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.
What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?
Dyson
Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?
They are against having shots
I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.
I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.
I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.
all i got was bunch of measly tips!
Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...
do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?
What's the hardest thing about being an anti-vaxxer?
Apparently, keeping it to yourself.
And the mumps.
The anti-vaxxer movement will end the same way that it started...
It'll go viral.
If you don't like anti-vaxxers...
Don't worry, they won't be here long
An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar
She demands to speak to the manager
An anti-vaxxer passes away...
...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.
She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"
God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".
The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"
2 things never get old.
-Anti-Vaxxer Jokes
-Their children
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.
An anti-vaxxer, an anti-masker, and a conspiracy theorist walk into a bar
The bartender looks up, groans to himself, pours himself a drink and asks "What'll it be Karen?"
A vegan, a new atheist and an anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...
I know because they told me.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.
What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?
They both are afraid of improving cell service.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
You can say he was having a midlife crisis
Only antivaxxers will get this...
Chicken pox.
A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar
I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
So I got my first covid vaccine shot today
Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.
He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?
Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?
Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?
Me: What, no. Why would you think that?
Him: Well most morons are...
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"
"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."
"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"
An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.
The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a damn coincidence..."
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
I don't like anti-vaxxers
They make me sick!
How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.
It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays...
...they seem to be a dying breed
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They're happy living in the dark
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You don't need light bulbs in a coffin.
How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up?
I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.
=
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?
Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.
An anti-vaxxer did an IQ test.
It came back NEGATIVE
Did you know, anti-vaxxers don't last as long in bed?
…especially if the bed is in a hospital.
What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?
They're both irrational.
An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested river
The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"
The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."
The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."
A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain
He goes to the clerk and says
"Hello, I'd like to purchase a new brain".
The clerk replies with "Sure, here are some of our brains we have on sale"
"Here's the brain of a physicist, 5 dollars."
"Here's our second deal for today. The brain of an anti-vaxxer, 10,000 dollars".
The man, completely confused, asks "Why is the brain of an anti-vaxxer more expensive than of a physicist?"
"Because it's never been used" The clerk replies.
Why will anti-vaxxers not laugh at this joke?
They just won't get it.
Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes?
Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog?
The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
My anti-vaxxer friend told me of his plan to deliberately catch chickenpox.
I have no idea what would cause him to make such a rash decision.
Why are there no anti-vaxxer Boxing champs ?
They whine about taking a few jabs and complain about rights.
Guys, abortion may be illegal soon. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, make sure she's an anti-vaxxer.
Instead of paying for 18 years of child support, you'll only have to pay for 3.
Why is Batman an Anti-Vaxxer?
His parents took shots and died.
