Antivaxxer Jokes

Following is our collection of thermometers humor and usd one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Antivaxxer puns for adults, dirty aquarius jokes or clean virus gags for kids.

There is an abundance of username jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 60 funniest jokes on antivaxxer. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any imgur witze you can hear about antivaxxer.

The Best jokes about Antivaxxer

Only anti-vaxxers will get this


Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge

Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?

Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.

Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.

I met an Anti-Vaxxer today...

Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!"

The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.

What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?

The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids

Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?

He's dead

I don't get anti-vaxxers.

If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.

The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.

What's the best type of shot for an anti-vaxxer?

A 9mm.

An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar

She demands to speak to the manager

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Here's to antivaxxers...

The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.

I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.

all i got was bunch of measly tips!

Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?

They don't approve of shots.

2 things never get old.

-Anti-Vaxxer Jokes
-Their children

My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!

Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.

Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

They are against having shots

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?


So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

If you don't like anti-vaxxers...

Don't worry, they won't be here long

Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!

Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles

What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?

Needle them

Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?

Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.

I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.

I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.

Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...

do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?

"Life is way too short to be taken seriously."

An anti-vaxxer said to her kid.

The anti-vaxxer movement will end the same way that it started...

It'll go viral.

What's the hardest thing about being an anti-vaxxer?

Apparently, keeping it to yourself.

And the mumps.

An anti-vaxxer, an anti-masker, and a conspiracy theorist walk into a bar

The bartender looks up, groans to himself, pours himself a drink and asks "What'll it be Karen?"

Why did the twenty year old anti-vaxxer freak out?

She was having a midlife crisis

Anti-vaxxers remind me of the show GLEE

Both haven't aged well

What do you call an anti-vaxxer couple and their kids on the moon?

A problem.

What do you call ten anti-vaxxer families on the moon?

A bigger problem.

What do you call a hundred anti-vaxxer families on the moon?

An even bigger problem.

So how about ALL the anti-vaxxer families on the moon?

Problem solved.

What do anti-vaxxers and Parents Against Alchohol have in common?

They don't want you giving shots to their kids.

If you accidentally knock up an anti-vaxxer, fear not!

You'll probably only have to pay a few years of child support.

Two anti-vaxxers walked into a bar

And died of polio

An Anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...

He stays sober and wants to go back home, but there's a bridge that comes in the way.

I tell him, "There is a 1 percent chance of the bridge breaking."

The anti-vaxxer jumped into the water and started swimming.

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite board game?

(You have diphtheria)

How do you greet an anti-vaxxer before noon?

Good mourning.

Why do anti-vaxxer still get shots for their pets?

They think it causes aww-tism.

Whats the best part about getting an anti-vaxxer pregnant?

Only eight years of child support.

What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?

Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.

If there's one good thing about being an anti-vaxxer ...'s that I only have to pay for a smaller coffin.

Anti-vaxxers hate Lil John

He's always promoting shots.

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

Why was the anti-vaxxers four year old crying?

Midlife crisis.

Sorry it's a repost from a while ago but it needs to be out here more.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They are all dead.

How do anti-vaxxers celebrate their kid's sixth birthday?

They put flowers on their grave.

There is one advantage to being an anti-vaxxer.

Child cemetery plots are way cheaper than adult ones.

Why are anti-vaxxers so terrible at painting and sculpture?

Because vaccines can cause you to be artistic.

What do you call an anti-vaxxer driving a car?

Measles on wheels

How do you kill two birds with one stone?

Become an Anti-Vaxxer.

Did hear the joke about the kid who died of the measels?

Never mind. Unless you're an anti-vaxxer, you won't get it.

I get the appeal of being an anti-vaxxer...

Choosing to "be an anti-vaxxer for life" is a much shorter-term commitment than many other "for life" decision.

What do Anti-Vaxxers and their children have in common?

They both stopped maturing at the same age.

Why was the anti-vaxxers 3 year old crying?

Mid-life crisis.

I just got kicked out of an anti-vaxxer group for telling them "they are all doing god's work....

And by god's work I mean giving diseases to innocent babies"

What did the Flat Earther say to the Anti-Vaxxer?

Hold my beer.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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