Antivaxxer Jokes
114 antivaxxer jokes and hilarious antivaxxer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about antivaxxer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Antivaxxer Short Jokes
Short antivaxxer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The antivaxxer humour may include short virus jokes also.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
- Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
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It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research. - Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim. - How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up? I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.
= - What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
- What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer? The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids
- It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays... ...they seem to be a dying breed
- Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum." They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
- I don't get anti-vaxxers. If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
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Antivaxxer One Liners
Which antivaxxer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with antivaxxer? I can suggest the ones about username and subscription.
- Only anti-vaxxers will get this Measles
- What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic? The control group.
- I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
- Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry He was having a midlife crisis
- Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli? He's dead
- I'm really not worried about anti-vaxxers..... It's a dying movement.
- I don't like anti-vaxxers They make me sick!
- What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool? Marco-Polio
- I only knock up anti-vaxxers. Better to pay 4 years of child support than 18.
- What's the best type of shot for an anti-vaxxer? A 9mm.
- What's the difference between anti-vaxxers and vaccines? needle actually have a point.
- What do you call a large group of anti-vaxxers? A quarantine.
- Two things that never get old Anti-vaxx jokes
Anti-vaxx kids - Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders? They don't approve of shots.
- 2 things never get old. -Anti-Vaxxer Jokes
-Their children
Cheerful Fun Antivaxxer Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about antivaxxer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iodine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make antivaxxer pranks.
Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!
Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles
So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.
So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets
What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?
Needle them
I kind of understand where anti-vaxxers coming from.
They were surely vaccinated as children, and look how r**... they turned out to be.
Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children
They'll go viral in no time.
Why did the twenty year old anti-vaxxer freak out?
She was having a midlife crisis
I've finally figured out why anti-vaxxers are so prominent in today's society.
Nowadays, everyone is just hoping to go viral.
Why couldn't the AntiVaxxer's middle aged son read?
He was 2.
Anti Vaxxers.
We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.
You know, like measles.
My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!
Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.
[OC] What is the one thing anti-vaxxers hate more than vaccines?
Giving their child a long, healthy life
Here's to antivaxxers...
The h**... players of the 10 year challenge.
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
Anti-vaxxers remind me of the show GLEE
Both haven't aged well
What do you call an anti-vaxxer couple and their kids on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call ten anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
A bigger problem.
What do you call a hundred anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
An even bigger problem.
So how about ALL the anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
Problem solved.
Dark jokes are like anti-vaxxers kids
They never get old
"Life is way too short to be taken seriously."
An anti-vaxxer said to her kid.
Look on the bright side anti-vaxxers
You'll never have to have "the talk" about puberty, s**..., drugs, or driving.
Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?
Men are from Mars, autism is from Mercury.
What do you call a game that antivaxxed children play?
Marco Polio
I seem to be one of the few people that understand anti-vaxxers completely...
I also don't like kids
What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?
Dyson
Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?
They are against having shots
A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.
I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"
She said "6"
I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"
She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."
"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."
People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...
A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer?
Dyson.
I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.
I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.
I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.
all i got was bunch of measly tips!
An 11 year old boy just told me his anti-vaxx joke
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Unvaccinated kid!
Unvaccinated kid who?
Oh never mind, it's an open casket f**....
Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...
do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?
What's the hardest thing about being an anti-vaxxer?
Apparently, keeping it to yourself.
And the mumps.
The anti-vaxxer movement will end the same way that it started...
It'll go viral.
If you don't like anti-vaxxers...
Don't worry, they won't be here long
An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar
She demands to speak to the manager
An anti-vaxxer passes away...
...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.
She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"
God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".
The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"
Why is it better to sleep with anti-vaxxers?
8 years of child support is better then 18 years of child support.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a b**... Mary!"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a r**... and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.
Never play drinking games with antivaxxers
They refuse to take their shots.
An anti-vaxxer, an anti-masker, and a conspiracy theorist walk into a bar
The bartender looks up, groans to himself, pours himself a drink and asks "What'll it be Karen?"
People should stop picking on anti-vaxxers...
....After all, they're practically defenseless!
A vegan, a new atheist and an anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...
I know because they told me.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.
Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.
This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to s**....
Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?
What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?
They both are afraid of improving cell service.
Two things never get old:
- Jokes on Anti-Vaxxers
- Their Children
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
You can say he was having a midlife crisis
Only antivaxxers will get this...
Chicken pox.
Antivaxx kids are like dark humor
They never get old
A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar
I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
So I got my first covid vaccine shot today
Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.
He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?
Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?
Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?
Me: What, no. Why would you think that?
Him: Well most morons are...
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"
"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."
"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"
An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.
The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a d**... coincidence..."
My anti-vaxx girlfriend asked me about trying to make a child together
Apparently, Let's give it a shot, then wasn't the best answer.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...
there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You don't need light bulbs in a coffin.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?
Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.
