The Best 60 Antivaxxer Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Antivaxxer jokes. There are some antivaxxer usd jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these antivaxxer virus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Antivaxxer Jokes and Puns
Only anti-vaxxers will get this
Measles
Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!
Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles
Anti-vaxxers hate Lil John
He's always promoting shots.
So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.
So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets
How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.
What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?
Needle them
What's the best type of shot for an anti-vaxxer?
A 9mm.
Two anti-vaxxers walked into a bar
And died of polio
I met an Anti-Vaxxer today...
Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?
Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.
What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?
The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids
You can explore antivaxxer thermometers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean antivaxxer aquarius dad jokes. There are also antivaxxer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children
They'll go viral in no time.
Why did the twenty year old anti-vaxxer freak out?
She was having a midlife crisis
What's an anti-vaxxers favorite board game?
Sorry!
(You have diphtheria)
Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry
He was having a midlife crisis
If there's one good thing about being an anti-vaxxer ...
...it's that I only have to pay for a smaller coffin.
Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?
He's dead
I don't get anti-vaxxers.
If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!
Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.
Here's to antivaxxers...
The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge
Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
What do anti-vaxxers and Parents Against Alchohol have in common?
They don't want you giving shots to their kids.
If you accidentally knock up an anti-vaxxer, fear not!
You'll probably only have to pay a few years of child support.
Anti-vaxxers remind me of the show GLEE
Both haven't aged well
What do you call an anti-vaxxer couple and their kids on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call ten anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
A bigger problem.
What do you call a hundred anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
An even bigger problem.
So how about ALL the anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
Problem solved.
"Life is way too short to be taken seriously."
An anti-vaxxer said to her kid.
Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?
They don't approve of shots.
Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?
Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.
What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?
Dyson
Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?
They are against having shots
An Anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...
He stays sober and wants to go back home, but there's a bridge that comes in the way.
I tell him, "There is a 1 percent chance of the bridge breaking."
The anti-vaxxer jumped into the water and started swimming.
I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.
I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.
I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.
all i got was bunch of measly tips!
How do you greet an anti-vaxxer before noon?
Good mourning.
Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...
do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?
What's the hardest thing about being an anti-vaxxer?
Apparently, keeping it to yourself.
And the mumps.
The anti-vaxxer movement will end the same way that it started...
It'll go viral.
Whats the best part about getting an anti-vaxxer pregnant?
Only eight years of child support.
If you don't like anti-vaxxers...
Don't worry, they won't be here long
Why do anti-vaxxer still get shots for their pets?
They think it causes aww-tism.
An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar
She demands to speak to the manager
An anti-vaxxer passes away...
...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.
She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"
God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".
The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"
2 things never get old.
-Anti-Vaxxer Jokes
-Their children
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.
An anti-vaxxer, an anti-masker, and a conspiracy theorist walk into a bar
The bartender looks up, groans to himself, pours himself a drink and asks "What'll it be Karen?"
Why did the anti-vaxxer cross the road
I don't know, go do your own research and stop bothering me!
A vegan, a new atheist and an anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...
I know because they told me.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.
What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?
They both are afraid of improving cell service.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
You can say he was having a midlife crisis
Only antivaxxers will get this...
Chicken pox.
A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar
I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
Don't be an Anti-Vaxxer,
getting your Uncles vaccinated is just as important!
So I got my first covid vaccine shot today
Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.
He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?
Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?
Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?
Me: What, no. Why would you think that?
Him: Well most morons are...
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"
"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."
"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"
An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.
The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a damn coincidence..."
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the antivaxxer username jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working antivaxxer imgur piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.