Antivaxx Jokes

Following is our collection of virus humor and death one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Antivaxx puns for adults, dirty tiny jokes or clean group gags for kids.

There is an abundance of small jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 52 funniest jokes on antivaxx. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any viruses witze you can hear about antivaxx.

The Best jokes about Antivaxx

Only anti-vaxxers will get this

Measles

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis

Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?

He's dead

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

I don't get anti-vaxxers.

If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?


What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?

Marco-Polio

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar

She demands to speak to the manager

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Here's to antivaxxers...

The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.

Two things that never get old

Anti-vaxx jokes

Anti-vaxx kids


Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?

They don't approve of shots.

Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

They are against having shots

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

If you don't like anti-vaxxers...

Don't worry, they won't be here long

Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!

Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles

An 11 year old boy just told me his anti-vaxx joke

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Unvaccinated kid!

Unvaccinated kid who?

Oh never mind, it's an open casket funeral.

I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.

I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.


The anti-vaxxer movement will end the same way that it started...

It'll go viral.

An anti-vaxxer, an anti-masker, and a conspiracy theorist walk into a bar

The bartender looks up, groans to himself, pours himself a drink and asks "What'll it be Karen?"

Anti-vaxxers remind me of the show GLEE

Both haven't aged well

A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.

I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"

She said "6"

I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"

She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."

"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."

What do anti-vaxxers and Parents Against Alchohol have in common?

They don't want you giving shots to their kids.

Two anti-vaxxers walked into a bar

And died of polio

An Anti-vaxxer walks into a bar...

He stays sober and wants to go back home, but there's a bridge that comes in the way.

I tell him, "There is a 1 percent chance of the bridge breaking."

The anti-vaxxer jumped into the water and started swimming.

The anti-vaxx couple could not understand why their 2-year old was crying

Everyone cries when they go through a mid-life crisis, duh.

Why do anti-vaxxer still get shots for their pets?

They think it causes aww-tism.

An antivaxx mom dies and goes to heaven. She notices that it was God himself walking to greet her, along with her two kids. They're all smiling. Feeling real smug about herself,

She runs toward them but Is suddenly stopped by an invisible force.

As God and her two kids got nearer though, they stopped smiling and had a puzzled look on their faces. Suddenly, they burst out in joyful laughter, just as St. Peter materialises beside them all.

Oh Pete, you really do know how to make us laugh! Exclaimed God. That's enough now, send her back down!

Some of the jokes here are getting old

Unlike antivaxx children

There are 2 things that never get old.

1-Anti-vaxx jokes

2-Children of anti-vaxx people.

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite board game?

Sorry!
(You have diphtheria)

What do antivaxx kids and Trump have in common?

4 years or less.

Anti-vaxxers hate Lil John

He's always promoting shots.

What does one say to an anti-vaxx kid?

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
omae wa
mou shindeiru.

How do anti-vaxxers celebrate their kid's sixth birthday?

They put flowers on their grave.

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They are all dead.

Why was the anti-vaxxers four year old crying?

Midlife crisis.

Sorry it's a repost from a while ago but it needs to be out here more.

Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying?

They found out autism is genetic

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

I am getting real sick of these Anti-Vaxx memes

But that's because I wasn't Vaccinated.

Why are anti-vaxxers so terrible at painting and sculpture?

Because vaccines can cause you to be artistic.

What's the difference between Opportunity and am anti-vaxx child?

One actually survives after it's been told it has 90 days to live.

What do Anti-Vaxxers and their children have in common?

They both stopped maturing at the same age.

When I was 6, my sister was half my age. Now I'm 70, how old is my sister?

3. My mother became anti-vaxx.

Why was the anti-vaxxers 3 year old crying?

Mid-life crisis.

Why are all anti-vaxxers single?

Because they don't shoot their shot

What do you get antivaxxer kids for their 3rd birthday?

Tombstone

How do anti-vaxx parents talk to their children?

Through a Ouija board

Anti-vaxx jokes never get old....

The punchline is self-implicative.

Being an anti-vaxxer is like

supporting the abortion minus the time factor!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes