The Best 48 Antivax Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Antivax jokes. There are some antivax slinkies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these antivax solemates puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Antivax Jokes and Puns

Only anti-vaxxers will get this

Measles

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

I'm surprised there are so many anti-vax politicians in America

Because most American politicians don't seem to care if kids get shot.

Antivax joke, I'm surprised there are so many anti-vax politicians in America

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis


Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There's usually a dead baby.

Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?

He's dead

Antivax joke, Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?

I don't get anti-vaxxers.

If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?

Here's to antivaxxers...

The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.

What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?

Marco-Polio

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

You can explore antivax titantic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean antivax integration dad jokes. There are also antivax puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,

They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.

Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?

They don't approve of shots.

Why are jokes about anti-vax kids the best?

They never get old!

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

They are against having shots

Antivax joke, Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

Antivax kid in the pool

Marco!

Polio!

What do antivax parents order at a bar?

Anything but shots

An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar

She demands to speak to the manager


An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

I'm a proud anti-vax mother of 4 beautiful children

What do anti-vax kids and unfunny jokes have in common?

They both die in new.

What's the worst thing to hear at an antivax rally?

"He's having a heart attack! Is anyone here a doctor?"

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.

Today is my first cake day which means

My Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be.

What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?

They both are afraid of improving cell service.

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

You can say he was having a midlife crisis

I'm an antivax parent, I want to keep my 3 children healthy

Only antivaxxers will get this...

Chicken pox.

What do you call a cleaning lady who is anti-vax?

Mrs. DoubtPfizer

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."

"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.

The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."

The doctor said "Well what a damn coincidence..."

My anti-vaxx girlfriend asked me about trying to make a child together

Apparently, Let's give it a shot, then wasn't the best answer.

An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.

He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.

The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:

I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?

Bartender: It's 100 proof.

Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.

I don't like anti-vaxxers

They make me sick!

How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?

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It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They're happy living in the dark

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You don't need light bulbs in a coffin.

How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up?

I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.
=

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world's average IQ

I have a lot of anti-vax jokes

In my family

You won't believe the reason Eminem stopped being antivax and decided to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine!!

You only get one shot.

Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?

Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.

An anti-vaxxer did an IQ test.

It came back NEGATIVE

Did you know, anti-vaxxers don't last as long in bed?

…especially if the bed is in a hospital.

What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?

They're both irrational.

An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested river

The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"

The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."

The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."

Why will anti-vaxxers not laugh at this joke?

They just won't get it.

Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes?

Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the antivax trekkie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working antivax vaccine piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes