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Antisemites Jokes

54 antisemites jokes and hilarious antisemites puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about antisemites that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Antisemites Short Jokes

Short antisemites jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The antisemites humour may include short jokes also.

  1. A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar. The bartender says Hey, didn't you write those Harry Potter books?
  2. What do you get if you cross a non-violent Indian with an anti-Semitic art school reject and a wizard? Gandolf
  3. An anti-semite once told a rabbi that Jews never tip The Rabbi replied: "I can assure you that every single Jewish guy I know around here has given a tip at least once in their lives"
  4. A white supremacist, racist, and antisemite walk into a bar Oh wait, that's the White House
  5. Lots of people are claiming to be victims of anti-Semitic attacks since Trump became President... It's fake Jews, folks.
  6. Why didn't anyone get upset about the Jewish star on the Disney movie Frozen? Because any Jewish princess knows being cold isn't anti-semitic. Its status!
  7. If I had a penny each time I heard an anti-Semitic joke... That's why we abolished pennies in Canada
  8. What did the antisemitic man say right before losing his virginity? First time. Be gentile.
  9. The Beatles and Pink Floyd collaborated on an Anti-Semitic song. It was called "Hey Jew" .
  10. Whats with all this Anti-Semitic Jokes lately? Jew nose...
    - I am truely sorry for that one

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Antisemites One Liners

Which antisemites one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with antisemites? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. A racist, an anti-semite and a black man walk into a bar Hey Kanye!
  2. What do you call a blind antisemite? A Not See
  3. I've really got to stop being so anti-semitic... or else I'm going to get audited soon
  4. What does an anti-Semitic turkey say? Goebbel goebbel.
  5. I'm not anti-Semitic, I had a Jewish friend once. Then I found out he was Jewish.
  6. What do you call an anti-Semitic sea mammal? Adolfin.
  7. What do you call small anti-Semitic chunks of ice falling from the sky? Heil
  8. What game do antisemitic rich people like to play? Yacht-zi.
  9. What do you call it when mel gibson questions your word choice? An anti-semitic semantic
  10. Why do we say antisemitic instead of saying racism Because jews aren't human
  11. What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites? Juno
  12. What's the definition of an anti-semite? Someone who hates jews *too* much
  13. I don't like semantics..... maybe thats why everyone says that i'm anti-semitic.
  14. I'm not an anti-Semite... But I do believe that Jews control the Kosher food industry.
  15. h**... couldn't have been an antisemite. He thought Jews were part of the Solution.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about antisemites can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of antisemites puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Antisemites Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about antisemites you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make antisemites prank.

People can change

Even h**... went from being an anti-semite to finally killing the person responsible for death of million jews.

Goldberg opens a hardware store.

To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: They used Goldberg's nails.
His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, You can't use that! It will cause antisemitism!"
So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus's body laying on the ground, hands bloodied, with the caption: They didn't use Goldberg's nails.

Because of the anti-semitic comments on my last joke, I am submitting a revised version

A ~~man~~k**... member goes to his ~~Rabbi~~ Grand Dragon.
"~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon, I think my wife is trying to poison me!"
"Very interesting," says the ~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon. "Let me go and talk to her and see what I can find out."
A few hours later the ~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon calls the ~~man~~k**... member up.
"I've spent several hours speaking with your wife," he says.
"What should I do?" the ~~man~~k**... member asked.
"Take the poison."

All anti-semites

Young Isaac knocks on his boss's door.
Boss: "come in!, yes Isaac what can i do for you?"
Isaac: "I can't work here anymore! I quit! Everyone who work here is anti-semite!"
Boss: "What? What are you talking about? I guess there might be one or two, but everyone? come on, it's ridiculous!"
Isaac " I am telling you! They are! I asked all of them one question, and they all gave me the same answer."
Boss: "But... what was that question?"
Isaac: " I asked waht would they think if we exterminate all the jews and all the hairdressers"
Boss: "Hairdressers? Why the hairdressers?"
Isaac: "See? You're all the same"

Historians recently discovered evidence that h**... was a ventriloquist.

Apparently he would sneak out some nights with his d**... who was a violinist. He would bring the d**... to small concert venues and ventriloquize the violin music, interjecting humorous anti-Semitic remarks in between songs. To avoid being recognized, we wore a fake mustache, and called his act A Doll Fiddler.

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.
The Jew smiles back.
The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.
"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"
He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."
The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.
Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just s**... or pretending to be?"
"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.
The Jew smiles back.
The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.
"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"
He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."
The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.
Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just s**... or pretending to be?"
"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

Why are Hispanics so antisemitic?

k**...

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it. "Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!" Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch. The anti-semite! looks over at the Jew with a smug grin. The Jew smiles back. The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression. "Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!" He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew." The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again. Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just s**... or pretending to be?" "Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

What do you call anti-Semitic snow?

Hail h**...

An old Jew is sitting on a park bench

reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His friend Harry walks by, stops, and says, "Irv, what are you doing reading that paper? You should be reading The Jewish Journal.'"
Irv says, "'The Jewish Journal' has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel...all kinds trouble for Jewish people. I like to read good news."
Harry says, "What good news could possibly be in that paper?"
Irv says, "Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood. See? It's all good news."

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.
The Jew smiles back.
The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.
"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"
He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."
The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.
Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just s**... or pretending to be?"
"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

A woman asks her friend whether she should date an anti-semite.

Friend: "He sounds really nice!"
Woman: "I know...but he's always spouting unsubstantiated, racist nonsense, marching, and carrying around some sort of sign."
Friend: "Oh, he's a Neo-n**.... That's a huge red flag."

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv, reading.

One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read a quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more – the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear programme and the suffering economy and growing antisemitism across Europe…" He points to the antisemitic rag. "Now I read this and I feel much better. Turns out there's actually a Jewish global conspiracy and we control the entire world."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these antisemites jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.