Anticipation Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Anticipation jokes. There are some anticipation playfully jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these anticipation anxiously puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Hilarious Fun Anticipation Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

Me: *licking lips in anticipation* I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before.

Instructor: don't lick my lips again.

An elderly man was on his deathbed.

A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him.

So he, against all odds, unhooks his IV's, creaks to his feet, and hobbles slowly down stairs where he beholds a platter of the cookies on the counter. He feebly reaches out for one and his wife slaps his hand away angrily.

"No! Those are for the funeral!"

A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...

... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation

When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed

*Where?! Where?!*

Anticipation (may be offensive)

A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."

My wife asks Alexa at least once a day - sometimes multiple times - what's the weather?

I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"

And now we wait.

(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)

I found a joke recorded in an old book from my great great great great grandfather in 1881

A married woman said to her husband. You have never taken me to the cemetery. No dear, replied he. that is a pleasure I have yet in anticipation.

First time bungee jumping...

ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before.

INSTRUCTOR: Don't lick my lips again.

Anticipation joke, First time bungee jumping...

No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox...

He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years.

Me: *licks lips in anticipation*

I'm nervous, I've never bungee jumped before.

Instructor: Please stop licking my lips.

I ordered a book on near death experiences.

The anticipation almost killed me.

A guy picked up an amazing red-head.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Things were getting hot and heavy and he whispered in her ear, "So, does the carpet match the drapes?"

She whispered back, "It's laminate, see for yourself."

So in anticipation he slid his hand up her thigh and past her skirt. Sure enough she had wood.

You can explore anticipation shyly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anticipation foresee dad jokes. There are also anticipation puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


In anticipation of Brexit many British politicians have unfriended their EU counterparts on Facebook.

I guess now they will have to referiend'em...

Two old timers were playing chess in the park. The first one says: "know what I did yesterday? I went to the girls..."

"At your old age?" Says the second one as he cuts him off. "How was it?" He asks in anticipation

"Much nicer than the boys"

"Can we have sex today" asks a poor husband, in anticipation!

Wife : No!!My gynecologist told me not to have sex for 2 weeks.

Husband: Yeah! But your dentist didn't!!

There are two types of people in this world

The first type of people are those, who leave other people in anticipation.

What's the best perfume for a woman to wear on her death bed?

Ghost anticipation.....

Anticipation joke, What's the best perfume for a woman to wear on her death bed?

Me: *licks lips with anticipation*

" I'm so excited! i've never bungee jumped before!!"

Instructor: "Don't lick my lips again!"

After years of trying a Chinese couple, the Wong's, finally get pregnant. With much anticipation Mrs. Wong delivers a beautiful Hispanic baby boy..

Mr. Wong names him Sum Ting.

What's Captain Picard's first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

*** Make queso, number one. ***

Anticipation is the name of the game

Everyone's waiting to hear the rules

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anticipation sensual puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working anticipation hopes piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes