Antibiotics Jokes

26 antibiotics jokes and hilarious antibiotics puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about antibiotics that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Antibiotics Short Jokes

Short antibiotics jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The antibiotics humour may include short penicillin jokes also.

  1. Have you heard about the rising political tensions between yogurt and penicillin? One side is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic. They're calling it a culture war.
  2. I didn't know what to do with all the gifts my ex gave me. So I took antibiotics until they went away.
  3. My cat needed to take some antibiotics recently, so I wrapped it up in ham When it couldn't run away it made the whole process much easier.
  4. they say that antibiotics prevent birth control from working I don't know, I've taken antibiotics before and my personality still did its usual job
  5. Doctor, doctor, I keep wanting to study antibiotics. Don't worry I'm going to put you on a course of penicillin.
  6. Doctor : Why did you take your antibiotic at 6am, when I told you 9am Me : I wanted to surprise the bacteria.
  7. What does Elvis say when he gets an infection that standard antibiotics can't treat? MRSA!
  8. Some people say you shouldn't take antibiotics You should take auntybiotics instead
    From my Dad
  9. ALEX TREBEK: This accidental discovery in 1928 opened the door to modern antibiotics **ME:** *(spraying a mouthful of popcorn)* WHAT IS A DOORKNOB?!

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Antibiotics One Liners

Which antibiotics one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with antibiotics? I can suggest the ones about antidepressants and drugs.

  1. What present can you give to the woman who has everything? Antibiotics.
  2. What do you give a girl who already has everything? Antibiotics
  3. No matter how popular they get.. ... antibiotics are never going viral.
  4. What do you get the man who has everything? Antibiotics
  5. What do you give the girl who's got everything? Antibiotics.
  6. Whats the opposite of Antibiotics? Unclebiotics
  7. What kind of antibiotic do you give to an Italian? Amoxsicilian
  8. How did the doctor cure the woman with Tourette's? Anti-bio-tics.
  9. What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD? Anti-biotics
  10. Doctor can't tell what antibiotics you need? Flummoxicillin.
  11. What do you give to someone who has everything? Antibiotics!
  12. I saw a patient with an STD. I gave him an antibiotic on discharge.
  13. I destroyed the garden yesterday. Thankfully I'm off the antibiotics Monday.

Antibiotics joke, I destroyed the garden yesterday.

Charming Humor Antibiotics Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about antibiotics you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bacteria jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make antibiotics pranks.


"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, s**... this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

What's the difference

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys some antibiotics, pays $25.45, walks out. A second later, the pharmacist bolts out of the pharmacy, catches up with the man, and breathlessly says: "sir, there's been a mistake! Instead of the antibiotics, I gave you Cyanide. " The man asks: "and what's the difference?" The pharmacist says: "two dollars and ten cents".

Antibiotics joke, ALEX TREBEK: This accidental discovery in 1928 opened the door to modern antibiotics