The Best 35 Anti Vaccine Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Anti Vaccine jokes. There are some anti vaccine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these anti vaccine puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Anti Vaccine Jokes and Puns

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now

2nd Edit- One Now

3rd Edit- Nevermind

4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."

"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"

I kind of understand where anti-vaxxers coming from.

They were surely vaccinated as children, and look how retarded they turned out to be.

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...

A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.


What's the difference between anti-vaxxers and vaccines?

Needles actually have a point.

Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism

Because autism isn't detected until age 3

There was an old scientist who invented an anti-Alzheimer's vaccine.

Unfortunately, he forgot the formula.

What do Pro-Vaxxers and Anti-Vaxxers have in common?

They'll never be fully vaccinated.

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

So I got my first covid vaccine shot today

Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.


He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?

Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?

Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?

Me: What, no. Why would you think that?

Him: Well most morons are...

You can explore anti vaccine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anti vaccine dad jokes. There are also anti vaccine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why does the 2 year old child of the anti-vaccine parents cry?

Midlife crisis.

[OC] What is the one thing anti-vaxxers hate more than vaccines?

Giving their child a long, healthy life

I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children.

They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.

This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to swallow.

Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?

Don't be an Anti-Vaxxer,

getting your Uncles vaccinated is just as important!

Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system?

Because he found mercury in it.

Why is a two year old anti-vacciner's son crying?

He's having his midlife crisis


An anti-vax mom walks in on her son self vaccinating.

And she says that better be heroin !

I tried to tell a covid vaccine joke to some anti-vaxxers...

But they didn't get it.

How are an anti vaccine baby's 5th birthday and John Cena related?

They will never see it

I am getting real sick of these Anti-Vaxx memes

But that's because I wasn't Vaccinated.

Why are anti-vaxxers so terrible at painting and sculpture?

Because vaccines can cause you to be artistic.

Anti vax mom goes to the doctor

An anti Vax mom takes her newborn son to the doctor. The doctor says, "you should really consider getting him vaccinated, if you love your child."
The mother is furious. She says, "do you even know what they put in those needles!"
To which the doctor replies, "Vaccines?"

What do anti-vaxers call a transformer that has been vaccinated?

Autismus Prime

Anti vaxx jokes allow dead baby jokes to live on.

Unlike the non vaccinated kids.

I really hate anti-vaxxers

They must all have autism after being vaccinated

Anti-Vaxers

Who would win a race between a vaccinated 10 year old and an unvaccinated 10 year old?

The vaccinated one because the other one doesn't exist.


It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

Non-vaccinated children are the least likely to get any ear infections.

Because they are anti-wax

There were once 2 anti-vaccine parents.

They ain't parents no more

If you are old enough to write articles on anti-vaccination

Your parents probably made the right choice, unfortunately it was on you.

What do me and anti-vaccination kids have in common?

We both last 3 minutes.


What do 40 year old adults and 2 year old anti vaccine kids have in common?

A mid-life crisis.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anti vaccine jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working anti vaccine piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes