Anti Jokes

Following is our collection of osx humor and marxist one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Anti puns for adults, dirty slogans jokes or clean syn gags for kids.

There is an abundance of vaccine jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 57 funniest jokes on anti. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any antivirus witze you can hear about anti.

The Best jokes about Anti

Only anti-vaxxers will get this

Measles

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis

Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?

He's dead

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

I don't get anti-vaxxers.

If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?


Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges.

If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.

What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?

Marco-Polio

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

I installed anti virus software on my computer

Now my computer has autism

What do anti-vax kids and unfunny jokes have in common?

They both die in new.

The anti pick-up line.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"

I'd love to hear some of yours.


My friend is an anti vaxxer.

Edit : was.

An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar

She demands to speak to the manager

I have no idea why people say the bible is anti gay

I definitely remember something about Jesus getting nailed

All anti-semites

Young Isaac knocks on his boss's door.
Boss: "come in!, yes Isaac what can i do for you?"
Isaac: "I can't work here anymore! I quit! Everyone who work here is anti-semite!"
Boss: "What? What are you talking about? I guess there might be one or two, but everyone? come on, it's ridiculous!"
Isaac " I am telling you! They are! I asked all of them one question, and they all gave me the same answer."
Boss: "But... what was that question?"
Isaac: " I asked waht would they think if we exterminate all the jews and all the hairdressers"
Boss: "Hairdressers? Why the hairdressers?"
Isaac: "See? You're all the same"

What do antivax parents order at a bar?

Anything but shots

What's the official song of the Anti Vaxx movement?

Down With the Sickness

After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.

But I don't smoke any less, either.

There's a new antidepressant on the market for lesbians.

Trycoxagin


Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Here's to antivaxxers...

The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.

there's a new antidepressant made only for lesbians...

it's called Trycoxagain

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,

They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.

I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.

They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.

Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?

They don't approve of shots.

The Anti-Thieves Machine

Science is amazing. Some european scientists made a breakthrough and invented an Anti-Thieves Machine. It detects and catches the thieves in the streets of various cities through the world with an accuracy of 99,9%! Of course that various countries were interested. Germany got 2, France got 3, Greece got 4, Italy got 5 and Portugal, true to its *showoff* image, got 10.

After one hour, in Germany, 100 hundred thieves got caught. In France more than 250 thieves got caught. In Greece more than 350 thieves were caught. In Italy, more than 500 thieves were caught. In Portugal, after 30 minutes, all the machines were stolen.

Why was the anti vaxxers two year old crying?

Because he was having a mid-life crisis

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

They are against having shots

Why does the Antichrist have trouble getting drunk?

Because his wine always turns into water.

Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism

Because autism isn't detected until age 3

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

Antivax kid in the pool

Marco!

Polio!

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.
The Jew smiles back.
The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.
"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"
He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."
The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.
Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just stupid or pretending to be?"
"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it. "Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!" Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch. The anti-semite! looks over at the Jew with a smug grin. The Jew smiles back. The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression. "Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!" He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew." The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again. Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just stupid or pretending to be?" "Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

An anti vaxxer tried the 10 year challenge...

I guess it wouldn't be a challenge if it wasn't hard

Anti Vaxx

Dating a girl with an unvaccinated kid is like adopting an old dog. You feel like you're being a good person for accepting it, then you get attached and they die when they're 12.

I got an anti-gravity book at barnes and noble today.

it's impossible to put down.

I tried some anti-masturbation hand cream for the first time.

It's fantastic - can't beat it

Anti Vaxxers.

We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.

You know, like measles.

Anticipation (may be offensive)

A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."

I got one of those anti-bullying bracelets the other day

I stole it off a fat ginger kid

If you don't like anti-vaxxers...

Don't worry, they won't be here long

If you were anti-pencil

Would you be erasist?

Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!

Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles

Tape is so anti social

It likes to stick to itself.

Anti-matter

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner.
"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?'' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer
"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"

what do Anti-vax kids and Acids have in common?

they don't go above 7

What's an antihistamine?

An unclehistamines wife

-updoots for groan.

I took an anti-body test today and it came back negative

Sucks because I stayed up all night studying.

How can you tell which two year old birthday party is for the anti- vaxxer's kid?

It's the one being held in the cemetery.

Anti-vaxers musty love comedy,

'cause they just get everything.

Did you here about the anti-vaxer with legit scientific evidence?

Yeah, me neither

I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.

I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.

"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"

Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.

The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.

The Jew smiles back.

The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.

"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"

He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."

The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.

Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just stupid or pretending to be?"

"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes