Amusing Anti Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
Only anti-vaxxers will get this
Measles
Why was the anti vaxxers two year old crying?
Because he was having a mid-life crisis
Anticipation (may be offensive)
A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."
Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges.
If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.
All anti-semites
Young Isaac knocks on his boss's door.
Boss: "come in!, yes Isaac what can i do for you?"
Isaac: "I can't work here anymore! I quit! Everyone who work here is anti-semite!"
Boss: "What? What are you talking about? I guess there might be one or two, but everyone? come on, it's ridiculous!"
Isaac " I am telling you! They are! I asked all of them one question, and they all gave me the same answer."
Boss: "But... what was that question?"
Isaac: " I asked waht would they think if we exterminate all the jews and all the hairdressers"
Boss: "Hairdressers? Why the hairdressers?"
Isaac: "See? You're all the same"
The anti pick-up line.
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"
I'd love to hear some of yours.
Where did sally go when the bomb went off?
- everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.
What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?
I miss you.
There's a new antidepressant on the market for lesbians.
Trycoxagin
After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.
But I don't smoke any less, either.
If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...
Wall-E
You can explore anti osx reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anti slogans dad jokes. There are also anti puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I have no idea why people say the bible is anti gay
I definitely remember something about Jesus getting nailed
there's a new antidepressant made only for lesbians...
it's called Trycoxagain
Why does the Antichrist have trouble getting drunk?
Because his wine always turns into water.
Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children
They'll go viral in no time.
Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry
He was having a midlife crisis
Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli?
He's dead
What's the official song of the Anti Vaxx movement?
Down With the Sickness
I don't get anti-vaxxers.
If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
Here's to antivaxxers...
The hardcore players of the 10 year challenge.
What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?
Marco-Polio
Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.
They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.
Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,
They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.
I installed anti virus software on my computer
Now my computer has autism
Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?
They don't approve of shots.
What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?
Dyson
Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?
They are against having shots
What do antivax parents order at a bar?
Anything but shots
Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism
Because autism isn't detected until age 3
An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar
She demands to speak to the manager
An anti-vaxxer passes away...
...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.
She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"
God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".
The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"
What do anti-vax kids and unfunny jokes have in common?
They both die in new.
My friend is an anti vaxxer.
Edit : was.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.
My Mexican uncle takes anti anxiety pills.
They're to stop Hispanic attacks
What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?
They both are afraid of improving cell service.
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
You can say he was having a midlife crisis
I'm an antivax parent, I want to keep my 3 children healthy
I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.
I found it quite difficult to put down.
An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.
The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a damn coincidence..."
You know what they say about anti-depressants?
The more the merrier :)
My anti-vaxx girlfriend asked me about trying to make a child together
Apparently, Let's give it a shot, then wasn't the best answer.
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
I don't like anti-vaxxers
They make me sick!
How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?
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It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They're happy living in the dark
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You don't need light bulbs in a coffin.
How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up?
I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.
=
Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?
Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.
Did you know, anti-vaxxers don't last as long in bed?
…especially if the bed is in a hospital.
An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested river
The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"
The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."
The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."
Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes?
Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
How many anti-vaccers does it take to change a lightbulb?
>!DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!!!<
Antiwork did an interview on Fox News to try to create a good public image of their sub
It didn't work.
An anticlimactic joke about periods
They come to a full stop
Why did the mexican start taking anti anxiety meds?
He was taking them for hispanic attacks
I've been prescribed anti gloating cream...
Can't wait to rub it in.
Why did the anti-vax movement stop?
It died down.
Why are there no anti-vaxxer Boxing champs ?
They whine about taking a few jabs and complain about rights.
Why did the anti-vaxer refuse to go out with Batman?
She was against masked-man dates.
Somebody stole my anti depressants..
Whoever you are.. I hope you're fking happy!
Did you hear about the bar for West African bookstore workers with anti government views?
Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations
Why are male cheerleaders anti patriarchy?
Because they are always holding women up.
I accidentally got anti aging cream on my block of cheddar
I've now got milk all over the kitchen top
