Anti Jokes

158 anti jokes and hilarious anti puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anti that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Anti Short Jokes

Short anti jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anti humour may include short ante jokes also.

  1. How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
  2. Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
  3. Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
    Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
    Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
  4. My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.
  5. What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
  6. What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer? The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids
  7. Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
    Why did sally fall off the swing?
    She had no arms..
    Knock knock..
    Whose there?
    -not sally.
  8. I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much... They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs
  9. In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti dandruff shampoo line. The decision left many scratching their heads.
  10. It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays... ...they seem to be a dying breed

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Anti One Liners

Which anti one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anti? I can suggest the ones about ants and enemy.

  1. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis
  2. Only anti-vaxxers will get this Measles
  3. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying? They were having a mid-life crisis.
  4. A racist, an anti-semite and a black man walk into a bar Hey Kanye!
  5. Dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
  6. What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic? The control group.
  7. I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
  8. My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks
  9. How come ants don't get sick? ...because they have lil' anty-bodies
    *runs away*
  10. Why did the anti-vaxer refuse to go out with Batman? She was against masked-man dates.
  11. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies
  12. Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli? He's dead
  13. What do you call an anti-vax babysitter? Mrs. Doubt Pfizer
  14. Why were the ants unaffected by the covid virus? They have lil anty bodies.
  15. I'm really not worried about anti-vaxxers..... It's a dying movement.

Anti Vaccine Jokes

Here is a list of funny anti vaccine jokes and even better anti vaccine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
  • What's the difference between anti-vaxxers and vaccines? needle actually have a point.
  • Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism Because autism isn't detected until age 3
  • There was an old scientist who invented an anti-Alzheimer's vaccine. Unfortunately, he forgot the formula.
  • What do Pro-Vaxxers and Anti-Vaxxers have in common? They'll never be fully vaccinated.
  • So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
    ~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
    No regrets
  • Why does the 2 year old child of the anti-vaccine parents cry? Midlife crisis.
  • [OC] What is the one thing anti-vaxxers hate more than vaccines? Giving their child a long, healthy life
  • I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children. They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!
  • The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens. Unlike their children.

Anti Semitic Jokes

Here is a list of funny anti semitic jokes and even better anti semitic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar. The bartender says Hey, didn't you write those Harry Potter books?
  • What do you get if you cross a non-violent Indian with an anti-Semitic art school reject and a wizard? Gandolf
  • I've really got to stop being so anti-semitic... or else I'm going to get audited soon
  • What does an anti-Semitic turkey say? Goebbel goebbel.
  • An anti-semite once told a rabbi that Jews never tip The Rabbi replied: "I can assure you that every single Jewish guy I know around here has given a tip at least once in their lives"
  • I'm not anti-Semitic, I had a Jewish friend once. Then I found out he was Jewish.
  • What do you call an anti-Semitic sea mammal? Adolfin.
  • What do you call small anti-Semitic chunks of ice falling from the sky? Heil
  • I met a bizarre anti Semite today He was very unorthodox
  • My Grandfather is pretty anti-semantic... He hates the Jewish and also isn't fond of Semites.
Anti joke, My Grandfather is pretty anti-semantic...

Anti Semite Jokes

Here is a list of funny anti semite jokes and even better anti semite puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are the Labour Party MPs anti Semitic? They stand for the many, not the privileged Jew.
  • Lots of people are claiming to be victims of anti-Semitic attacks since Trump became President... It's fake Jews, folks.
  • What do you call it when mel gibson questions your word choice? An anti-semitic semantic
  • I was accused of being an anti semite because I said I hated juice
  • I'm not anti Semitic I'm anti semantic I can't stand a wordy Jew
  • Why didn't anyone get upset about the Jewish star on the Disney movie Frozen? Because any Jewish princess knows being cold isn't anti-semitic. Its status!
  • What is an anti-semite's favorite letter of the alphabet? I don't know. But it's not Z.
  • What do you call a hiding anti semite? A not-see.
  • If I had a penny each time I heard an anti-Semitic joke... That's why we abolished pennies in Canada
  • The Beatles and Pink Floyd collaborated on an Anti-Semitic song. It was called "Hey Jew" .

Anti Semitism Jokes

Here is a list of funny anti semitism jokes and even better anti semitism puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites? Juno
  • What's the definition of an anti-semite? Someone who hates jews *too* much
  • Whats with all this Anti-Semitic Jokes lately? Jew nose...
    - I am truely sorry for that one
  • I don't like semantics..... maybe thats why everyone says that i'm anti-semitic.
  • I'm not an anti-Semite... But I do believe that Jews control the Kosher food industry.
  • People can change Even h**... went from being an anti-semite to finally killing the person responsible for death of million jews.
  • What do you call anti-Semitic snow? Hail h**...
Anti joke, What do you call anti-Semitic snow?

Amusing Anti Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about anti you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean evil jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anti pranks.

Why was the anti vaxxers two year old crying?

Because he was having a mid-life crisis

Anticipation (may be offensive)

A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."

Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for m**... charges.

If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.

All anti-semites

Young Isaac knocks on his boss's door.
Boss: "come in!, yes Isaac what can i do for you?"
Isaac: "I can't work here anymore! I quit! Everyone who work here is anti-semite!"
Boss: "What? What are you talking about? I guess there might be one or two, but everyone? come on, it's ridiculous!"
Isaac " I am telling you! They are! I asked all of them one question, and they all gave me the same answer."
Boss: "But... what was that question?"
Isaac: " I asked waht would they think if we exterminate all the jews and all the hairdressers"
Boss: "Hairdressers? Why the hairdressers?"
Isaac: "See? You're all the same"

The anti pick-up line.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"
I'd love to hear some of yours.

Anti-vaxxers make me SICK!

Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles

Tape is so anti social

It likes to stick to itself.

I got an anti-gravity book at barnes and noble today.

it's impossible to put down.

If you were anti-pencil

Would you be erasist?

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

There's a new antidepressant on the market for l**....


After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.

But I don't smoke any less, either.

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...


I have no idea why people say the bible is anti gay

I definitely remember something about Jesus getting nailed

there's a new antidepressant made only for l**......

it's called Trycoxagain

Why does the Antichrist have trouble getting drunk?

Because his wine always turns into water.

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis

Anti-vaxers musty love comedy,

'cause they just get everything.

What's an antihistamine?

An unclehistamines wife
-updoots for groan.

What's the official song of the Anti Vaxx movement?

Down With the Sickness

Anti Vaxxers.

We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.
You know, like measles.

I don't get anti-vaxxers.

If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?

An anti vaxxer tried the 10 year challenge...

I guess it wouldn't be a challenge if it wasn't hard

Here's to antivaxxers...

The h**... players of the 10 year challenge.

What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?


Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

How can you tell which two year old birthday party is for the anti- vaxxer's kid?

It's the one being held in the cemetery.

I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.

They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.

Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,

They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.

I installed anti virus software on my computer

Now my computer has autism

Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders?

They don't approve of shots.

I tried some anti-m**... hand cream for the first time.

It's fantastic - can't beat it

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?


Why don't antivaxxers go out drinking?

They are against having shots

Antivax kid in the pool


Anti Vaxx

Dating a girl with an unvaccinated kid is like adopting an old dog. You feel like you're being a good person for accepting it, then you get attached and they die when they're 12.

What do antivax parents order at a bar?

Anything but shots

I don't think antivaxxers are such a big problem.

I was just walking through the subway when I saw 2 homeless people vaccinating themselves.

what do Anti-vax kids and Acids have in common?

they don't go above 7

Why was the antivaxers 5 year old son so sad?

He was having a mid-life-crisis.

If you don't like anti-vaxxers...

Don't worry, they won't be here long

An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar

She demands to speak to the manager

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.
She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"
God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".
The woman just can't believe it. She's absolutely distraught, until it finally dawns on her: this conspiracy must go even higher than I thought!"

What do anti-vax kids and unfunny jokes have in common?

They both die in new.

Did you here about the anti-vaxer with legit scientific evidence?

Yeah, me neither

I took an anti-body test today and it came back negative

s**... because I stayed up all night studying.

My friend is an anti vaxxer.

Edit : was.

I got one of those anti-bullying bracelets the other day

I stole it off a fat ginger kid

I'm anti vaxx

I own a f**... home so it's good for business

From today onwards, I have decided to stop denigrating anti maskers.

And if you are an anti masker, denigrate means to put down.

Why did the four year old anti vax kid cry?

Because he was in his midlife crisis.

You know you're getting old when

when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you.
Happy Cake Day to me!

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.

anti crocodile substances

a man was pouring colored water every day on the streets of his town
one day his neigbhour called the police because he was pouring suspicious liquids on the streets
when the police came they asked the man:" what are you pouring on the streets? "
the guy said: "i was pouring anti crocodile liquids "
the officer said:" but there are no crocodiles in this town"
the guy said" you are welcome"

My Mexican uncle takes anti anxiety pills.

They're to stop Hispanic attacks

What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?

They both are afraid of improving cell service.

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

You can say he was having a midlife crisis

I'm an antivax parent, I want to keep my 3 children healthy

Only antivaxxers will get this...

Chicken pox.

Antivaxx kids are like dark humor

They never get old

I'm an Anti-vax and I don't care what you think.

They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down.

Along with "Antimatter" and "Dark Matter" we've recently discovered the existence of...

"Doesn't Matter" witch appears to have no affect on the universe at all.

My anti vaxer neighbor's eight year old was throwing a temper tantrum

"Isn't she too old to throw a temper tantrum?", I asked.
"It's not a temper tantrum. It's a mid life crisis."

My mother is anti vaxx

Calls herself miss Doubt Pfizer

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a d**... coincidence..."

You know what they say about anti-depressants?

The more the merrier :)

My anti-vaxx girlfriend asked me about trying to make a child together

Apparently, Let's give it a shot, then wasn't the best answer.

An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.

He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.

I don't like anti-vaxxers

They make me sick!

How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You don't need light bulbs in a coffin.

How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up?

I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.

What did the anti-vax kid wanna grow up to be?


Anti joke, What did the anti-vax kid wanna grow up to be?

jokes about anti