Anti Joke Jokes
91 anti joke jokes and hilarious anti joke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anti joke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Anti Joke Short Jokes
Short anti joke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anti joke humour may include short jokes also.
- Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally. - I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much... They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs
- Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids, They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.
- So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets - Why was the Anti-vaxxer's baby crying? Because he wasn't going to live long enough to see this joke reposted again.
- Take it easy on the anti-semetic jokes. Take it easy on the jew jokes please. My grandfather died in a concentration camp during WW2.
Apparently he fell off a guard tower during shift change. - I tried to tell a covid vaccine joke to some anti-vaxxers... But they didn't get it.
- Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Because they already heard this joke like 20 times.
- Do you wanna know why i hate anti-jokes? They're not funny
- Did hear the joke about the kid who died of the measels? Never mind. Unless you're an anti-vaxxer, you won't get it.
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Anti Joke One Liners
Which anti joke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anti joke? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What do anti-vax kids and unfunny jokes have in common? They both die in new.
- I have a lot of anti-vax jokes In my family
- Why are jokes about anti-vax kids the best? They never get old!
- Two things that never get old Anti-vaxx jokes
Anti-vaxx kids - 2 things never get old. -Anti-Vaxxer Jokes
-Their children - Dark jokes are like anti-vaxxers kids They never get old
- Why will anti-vaxxers not laugh at this joke? They just won't get it.
- All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related They all die in new
- A joke but only anti-vax kids get it. Polio
- I love hearing jokes about anti-vax kids They never get old.
- Two things never get old: - Jokes on Anti-Vaxxers
- Their Children - All the jokes about anti-vaxxers are getting old Unlike their kids
- Recently got into Anti-Jokes Why can't Michael Jackson play ping-pong anymore?
He's dead - There are 2 things that never get old. 1-Anti-vaxx jokes
2-Children of anti-vaxx people. - I Have A Joke That Only Anti-vaxxers Will Get Measles
Anti Joke Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about anti joke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anti joke pranks.
How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
**
Good jokes are like anti vax kids
They come in many shapes and sizes, normally created by people that have less-than-average intelligence, and most importantly never gets old
Because of the anti-semitic comments on my last joke, I am submitting a revised version
A ~~man~~k**... member goes to his ~~Rabbi~~ Grand Dragon.
"~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon, I think my wife is trying to poison me!"
"Very interesting," says the ~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon. "Let me go and talk to her and see what I can find out."
A few hours later the ~~Rabbi~~Grand Dragon calls the ~~man~~k**... member up.
"I've spent several hours speaking with your wife," he says.
"What should I do?" the ~~man~~k**... member asked.
"Take the poison."
Three blondes
Three blonde women are sitting on the side of a river. The first one says "dear God, make me twice as smart as I am so that I can cross the river". So God turns her into a brunette and she swims across. The second blonde says "dear God please make me twice as smart as you made the last girls so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a Red Head and she builds a boat and sails across. The third blonde says "dear God, make me twice as smart as you made the last girl so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
*edit* People, it's just a joke! So much hate, I've told other jokes as well. Here's an anti-man joke? Why are women bad with judging distance? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches is their entire lives.
Know any good anti jokes?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
*He was hit by a bus.*
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was dead.*
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was stapled to the first monkey.*
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
*Pour gasoline on it and light it on fire, WOOF!*
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
*freeze it and take a band saw to it, MRREEEOOOOOWW!*
How do you make a plumber cry?
*you kill his family.*
One I wrote a while ago: Anti-Boasting Cream
Now I don't tell many jokes and definitely don't write them so I found this on my phone from about two years ago and was amazed!
I went to see the Doctor this morning about my big ego. He told me to try this anti-boasting cream.
I said, how do I apply it? It's just i've got really soft, sensitive, supple skin. He said, You just have to rub it in.
Not sure of this crosses the line from joke to anti joke or not but whatever. A simple one line one punch.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Milk me.
I used to tell lots of mean anti-jokes...
But they drove my mam's sister to s**....
I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia...
[Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union]
Have you tried Stalin bacon before?
*I'm not sure.. I don't think so...*
Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.
A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk were talking
about how they paid themselves every week after the worshippers donated to the temple, church etc.
The Priest: I have a good method. I draw a circle on the ground, step in the middle and throw all the donated money up on the air. With the grace of God whatever falls in the circle is my salary and outside belongs to the church.
The monk: how interesting, I almost do the same thing. But I believe what falls within the circle belongs to the monastery and outside is mine.
The rabbi chimes in, oh my God, we all think alike. I do the same thing. I draw a circle, get in the middle of it and throw all the donations in the air. What stays up in the air belongs to the temple and what falls on the ground is mine!
Note: Before labeling me an anti-semite, be advised my uncle (an Orthodox Rabbi) is the one who told me this joke, which he was told 50+ years ago in Yeshiva.
What do you call a BMW with four black people inside?
A pretty nice car.
I hope you enjoyed my anti joke.
Whats with all this Anti-Semitic Jokes lately?
Jew nose...
- I am truely sorry for that one
Pizza Guy wrote this anti joke on my pizza box today.. What do you call a black guy on the moon?
An Astronaut.
Ten Science Jokes for Nerds
* I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
* I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
* Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers.
* Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
* Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
* A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
What do we want? .
Time travel
When do we want it? .
Irrelevant.
* What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
* A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies For you, no charge .
* Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm positive.
* An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.
What did Macbeth say when he turned on the gas tap?
METHANE of Cawdor
Ha
ha
Do you get it?
Maybe this should have been posted on anti jokes. It's so bad.
Topical Jokes for 10/9
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the pizza was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of w**... in it.
To thwart corruption, traffic police in Thailand will now receive a bonus if they refuse bribes. The plan affects all levels of Thailand police, from the street-level Bribe Solicitor, to Director of Bribes, all the way up to Bribe King.
…the anti-corruption program will be funded by confiscated bribes.
Lawmakers have approved $700 million dollars to help fight Ebola. The lawmakers announced the news from inside their $700 million dollar Ebola-proof bunker.
In North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has not made a public appearance for several weeks. Kim's unexplained absence has sparked rumors in the state-run media that everything is totally fine.
Does anyone know the answer to the riddle that asks, "Is is colder on the farm or in the Winter? Which is longer, a rope?"
Does anyone know the answer to the riddle that asks, "Is is colder on the farm or in the Winter? Which is longer, a rope?" I have been trying to get this for the last month or so. There are a ton of clues that I can give for it, but I still can't come up with the right answer. I think it's one of those anti-joke riddles where the answer is something so obvious it lacks a c**....
What did the joke say to the anti-joke
"I'm a joke," and the proceeded to cry into his beer.
Anti-joke time
Q: What is 1 foot long, stiff and makes women scream all night?
A: A dead baby.
[A non-anti-semitic Jewish Joke]: In 1939, a Jewish man walked past a cafe in Berlin and saw a fellow Jew sitting outside reading Der Stürmer.
The passerby was shocked.
"How can you read such horrible stuff?" he wanted to know.
"All the other papers," the man quietly explained, "are filled with Jewish tragedy. But in *this* paper, it's just the opposite. It says we Jews control absolutely everything. I find it rather reassuring!"
A joke I am working on. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated!
Did you hear about the synagogue that had all the Stars of David and Hebrew graffiti'd over?
The police are calling it an anti-Semiotic hate crime.
A Dutch anti-German joke (and the first foreign joke i ever learned!)
There's still a lot of ill feeling against the Germans in Holland. With that in mind, this is a joke a Dutch friend told me.
Walking around Amsterdam one day, a Dutchie sees a man down on his knees scooping up water from the canal with his hand to drink.
He shouts to the man (in Dutch) "Don't drink that, you will be sick!!!)
The man responds (in German) "Was hast du gesagt??" (What are you saying?)
The Dutch man responds (in German) "Use both hands! It's much better!"
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dave
Dave who?
Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.
Note: This anti-joke is submitted to commemorate the new Alzheimer's treatment, and the immanent loss of a source of much comedic humour - aged dementia.
Anyone know any good anti jokes?
Anti jokes are basically jokes that are so serious and deliberately not funny to the point where they are funny. Yeah its hard to explain. But I was looking for some good ones that aren't already on the anti joke website so share them if you know any.
Anti jokes are why I live
Q: What's worse then finding a worm inside your apple?
A:The hollocost
Anti jokes
What smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We're both lawyers
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead
Feel free to share some anti jokes in the comments i'd love to hear some more
If I had a penny each time I heard an anti-Semitic joke...
That's why we abolished pennies in Canada
Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.
Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.
Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.
Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.
Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.
Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.
Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.
Need your best anti-Jokes
Guys I love anti-jokes.
Like they are the only ones that make me laugh.
Please
I need more in my life.
I know this isn't a joke, but are anti jokes ok?
Feel free to remove this but please let me know if we can
Why was the anti-vaxxer's kid crying?
It couldn't repost the same midlife crisis joke and get thousands of likes.
I hear anti-vaxxers are sick of people telling jokes about them.
It's easy to get sick when you're vaccinated.
Why was the anti-vaxxer's 5 year old crying?
Because there are 17 reposts of this joke, including one mentioning the reposts which I got inspiration from.
What is the reason that only 'Anti-Vax' jokes are becoming top post nowadays?
Well, because most of the Anti-vaxxer's have died from polio to downvote those jokes and make them disappear.
An anti vaxxer was telling me a joke about how you shouldn't be vaxxed
I guess where he collapsed and died mid sentence was the punchline
What's the difference between
These jokes and an anti-vaxxer's child?
The jokes will get older.
What's the difference between unvaccinated children and jokes about anti-vaxers ?
They never get old.
Whats something that unvaccinated kid and telling jokes about anti-vaxx parents have in common ?
It's never get old
What do men with erectile dysfunction and the punch line of an anti-joke have in common?
They never come
As much as I like jokes about anti-vax kids, I don't think they'll be around for much longer...
The kids I mean, not the jokes
Anti-vax jokes
What's the difference between Tupac and Ant-vax mom children?
Tupac got shot.
The funny thing about anti-vax jokes is that...
they tend to be older than anti-vax kids!
Anti vaxx jokes allow dead baby jokes to live on.
Unlike the non vaccinated kids.
Anti-vaxx jokes never get old....
The punchline is self-implicative.
An 11 year old boy just told me his anti-vaxx joke
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Unvaccinated kid!
Unvaccinated kid who?
Oh never mind, it's an open casket f**....
Anti Vaxxer Jokes Never Grow Old
And neither do their kids.
Why were corn flakes invented joke
John Harvey Kellogg believed s**... desires caused disease and invented the plain cereal to stop self-pleasuring.
P.S.
Corn Flakes were not invented as an anti-masturbatory aid, despite a popular rumour which has surfaced online. Corn Flakes were developed to provide nourishment to patients at the Kellogg sanitarium in Michigan.
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for v**..., decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for v**....
Book Jokes.
I read a thriller in Braille.
You can really feel the suspense.
I'm reading a book about Anti-Gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
I read a book about submarine construction.
It's riveting.
I'm reading a book about adhesives.
It has me glued to my seat .
I read a book on s**....
It had me on the edge of my building.
Feel free to insert more. :)
Two things never get old
1: anti vaxxer jokes
2: their kids
I served a p**... of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.
They thought it was a bit tasteless.