Anthony Jeselnik Jokes
20 anthony jeselnik jokes and hilarious anthony jeselnik puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anthony jeselnik that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Anthony Jeselnik Short Jokes
Short anthony jeselnik jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anthony jeselnik humour may include short anthony bourdain jokes also.
- Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
*-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare* - My dad doesnt trust anyone, in fact he has a saying about it But he wouldnt tell me
Credits: Anthony Jeselnik - I just found out my grandmother only has one day left to live. And I know this might sound cruel... ...but I'm not paying the ransom. -Anthony Jeselnik
- I saw some horrible comedian making jokes about the Boston Marathon... Some lines must not be crossed.
(Source: Anthony Jeselnik I think) - You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... And you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
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(Anthony Jeselnik) - The day of the Boston massacre as soon I heard about I said that some lines just shouldn't be crossed especially not the finish line I will give credit where credit is to : Anthony Jeselnik
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Anthony Jeselnik One Liners
Which anthony jeselnik one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anthony jeselnik? I can suggest the ones about ben shapiro and amy schumer.
- My mom was supposed to die in the 9/11 incident.. I think
- Anthony Jeselnik
Playful Anthony Jeselnik Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about anthony jeselnik you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chris christie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anthony jeselnik pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Careful what you wish for!
I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have s**... me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.
—Anthony Jeselnik
When I graduated high school I wanted to buy a motorcycle..
When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. - Anthony Jeselnik
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Its not easy Making Fun of r**... People
You Really have to explain it to them
--- Anthony Jeselnik
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat...
... and then blame it on the boyfriend
Credits ~ Anthony Jeselnik
My parenrs were very principled people...
When I was young, they caught me smoking one Newport. They proceeded to force me to smoke the whole pack, just to teach me a valuable lesson..
..about brand loyalty.
_ credits to Anthony Jeselnik
I never know what to say to something after they've lost their baby.
"Oh I'm sorry for your loss," doesn't cut it.
That's why I keep my mouth shut and let my lawyer do the talking.
*
*Source: Anthony Jeselnik*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"One of my friends has gotten so many DUI's.....
that he had to go to jail for a year. And his only concern was getting r**.... So he didn't shower for an entire year...... because he was so busy getting r**...."
- Anthony Jeselnik
Can someone please explain this joke to me? I really don't get it.
So I was watching this stand-up comic named Anthony Jeselnik and while the rest of his show is hilarious, there was one joke I just don't get at all.
"I once mowed the lawn at a battered woman's shelter... if you know what I mean".
Yea; I'm seriously stumped.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found this website that tells you how many s**... offenders are in your area. Apparently, there are 34 s**... offenders in my area.
So why do we always have to meet at my place?
- Anthony Jeselnik
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Smelly Roommate (Anthony Jeselnik)
I once had this Eastern European roommate who never showered or used deodorant. He smelled awful and after a while it got unbearable. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he smelled bad, so I left him a note one morning in the bathroom, "Dear Olaf, get out of my country"
-Anthony Jeselnik
Superpower
One friend to another:
Friend 1: Hey, if you could have any superpower, which would you choose?
Friend 2: I'd want super strength.
Friend 1: Well I'd want Cold War Russia.
Source: Anthony Jeselnik?
Two of my favorite jokes by my favorite comedian
"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik