The Best 55 Anthem Jokes

Following is our collection of Anthem jokes which are very funny. There are some anthem ode jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these anthem indie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

What song is the anthem of Anti-Vaxxers?

Down With The Sickness

The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem

Concerto for organ in a minor.

What's the Cuban national anthem?

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."

I went to the doctors today

told him "I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem".

The doctor said, "Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that".

Americans, don't hate on illegal Mexican immigrants so much ...

For fuck's sake, even your national anthem welcomes them.

"José can you see ..."

South Africa's new National Anthem.

Sounds of silence:

Hello, darkness,
my old friend.
I've come to talk
with you again.
Because a darkness
softly creeping.
Silos crack while I
was sleeping.
And the power is
off once again,
This is South Africa,
my friend.

Not sure what was worse tonight

Not sure which was worse tonight, Pacquiao losing or Jamie Foxx's version of the national anthem.

The real fight of the century was between,

Jamie Foxx and the national anthem

Did you know that Jose is an American name?

It's mentioned in the very first line of the U.S. National Anthem.

How does the Mexican national anthem start?

Jose can you see.....

What is the Puerto Rican national anthem?

Partly in the USA

Top Anthem Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore anthem parody reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anthem salin dad jokes. There are also anthem puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

"Oh secant, you say?"

American great

I had to go see my doctor today because I'm having an unusual problem. I say to him, I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem .

The doctor said, Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that .

What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

This kneeling during the national anthem thing is getting really out of hand.

Now even the competitors of the Paralympics are doing it.

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

I know how to stop all these riots.

Play the national anthem, they'll all sit down.

How do you stop all the protests and riots?

Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down

How can the National Anthem be racist if?.

The first words are, " Jośe can you see?"

Want to know how to stop the "Not My President" Riots?

Play the National Anthem and they'll all kneel.

I hear that everyone loves it when you share your political views, so this is what I stand for...

the national anthem, old people on the bus and if someone yells "your chair is on fire"

The inauguration ceremony should be like the olympics.

They can play the US national anthem, then the Russian one.

While I was on the bus, the person standing next to me played the national anthem

While I was sitting on the bus, the person standing next to me played the national anthem,

I stood up and he took my seat.

What does the GOP stand for?

The Russian national anthem.

What is the national anthem of South Korea?

Heart and Seoul.

Have you heard of the Saudi Arabia gay pride anthem?

We will, we will rock you!

The Chili's theme song from the late nineties would make a far better anthem for the 'Amber Alert'.

*sings* I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

What does U.S.A. stand for?

The national anthem.

The national anthem is under attack

And I won't stand for it!

How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest?

Sing the national anthem

I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about...

I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.

Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game

However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.

These national anthem protests are getting out of hand.

Even the U.S. paralympics team won't stand up for the national anthem.

Did you see Mike Pence left the Colts game because the players knelt for the national anthem?

He was quoted as saying "I won't stand for this" on the way out

How do you stop a crowd of black men from rioting, breaking windows and looting?

Play the American national anthem.

If you play the soviet anthem and my grenade at the same time...

It becomes our Tsar Bomba.

When do NFL players propose to their girlfriends?

During the playing of the National Anthem.

Fergie is so patriotic

Even her voice kneeled for the National anthem.

Fergie sang that anthem so bad

Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the anthem like that

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the suicide prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

Fergie's rendition of the national anthem was so bad.......

that even Colin Kaepernick had to stand up and walk out on this one.

What genre is the National Anthem?

Country Music

What does ET stand for?

His national anthem

A guy in Texas was sitting in my favorite seat on the bus.

So I looked up the National Anthem and played it on speaker.


The Canadians are considering changing the name of their national anthem to 'O Cannabis'

The Third Reich did bad things, and their anthem is good. The Soviets did bad things, and their anthem is good...

So why isn't the American anthem good?

I used to know a crippled guy who had a serious hatred for the National Anthem...

Just couldn't stand for it.

I'm gonna pick up Anthem today and see what shuts down first.

My PS4 or BioWare?

In the middle of the night...

...a frustrated wife starts singing the national anthem loudly. What are you doing, darling? inquires the husband. Well, I was giving it one last shot, honey, replied the wife, the whole nation stands erect when this song is heard.

What did Zeus pick as Mount Olympus' national anthem?

Greeced Lightning.

I played the USSR anthem at my private school

And now its a public school.

A drunk guy goes up to a lady dressed in black

A drunk guy goes up to a lady dressed in black and says:
- Will you dance with me, lady?
- No and for three reasons.
- And what are the reasons?

With a very serious look on her face she says:

- Firstly you're drunk in a funeral, secondly you don't dance during the Nacional anthem and lastly I'm not a lady, I'm the priest.

What does ET stand for?

The alien national anthem

Insert Russian anthem...

My girlfriend said she was going to leave me, since I was getting too much into communism,

I said-


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anthem opera jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working anthem sing piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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