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Anthem Jokes

76 anthem jokes and hilarious anthem puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anthem that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh along with this collection of Anthem Jokes that parody student anthems, national anthems, the Black National Anthem, and more. From interpretations of various renditions to the classic Rushmore parody, this article has it all!

Funniest Anthem Short Jokes

Short anthem jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anthem humour may include short hymn jokes also.

  1. How do you stop all the protests and riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down
  2. Did you see Mike Pence left the Colts game because the players knelt for the national anthem? He was quoted as saying "I won't stand for this" on the way out
  3. "God Save the Queen" seems an ill-fitting anthem following the coronation of King Charles III The obvious choice for the replacement is the "Charles in Charge" theme song.
  4. I wish they would stop playing the national anthem before games I'm not unpatriotic; I just don't like country music.
  5. What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common? Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.
  6. How do you sing the national anthem of the United Arab Emirates? I'm Blue, Abu Dhabi, Dubai
    Abu Dhabi and Dubai
    Abu Dhabi, Dubai...
  7. I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about... I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.
  8. These national anthem protests are getting out of hand. Even the U.S. paralympics team won't stand up for the national anthem.
  9. Insert Russian anthem... My girlfriend said she was going to leave me, since I was getting too much into communism,
    I said-

    "Soviet"
  10. Fergie sang that anthem so bad Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the anthem like that

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Anthem One Liners

Which anthem one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anthem? I can suggest the ones about poem and song.

  1. Have you heard of the Saudi Arabia gay pride anthem? We will, we will rock you!
  2. How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
  3. The national anthem is under attack And I won't stand for it!
  4. What genre are national anthems? Country
  5. What's the cuban national anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."
  6. What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade? We Will Rock You.
  7. I know how to stop all these riots. Play the national anthem, they'll all sit down.
  8. Yo momma so fat... ...she has an anthem and a flag .
  9. What genre is the National Anthem? Country Music
  10. How do you stop the protests in Charlotte? Sing the nation anthem they will sit down
  11. What is the Puerto Rican national anthem? Partly in the USA
  12. What does U.S.A. stand for? The national anthem.
  13. What song is the anthem of Anti-Vaxxers? Down With The Sickness
  14. How does the Mexican national anthem start? Jose can you see.....
  15. What does the GOP stand for? The Russian national anthem.

National Anthem Jokes

Here is a list of funny national anthem jokes and even better national anthem puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you stop a crowd of black men from rioting, breaking windows and looting? Play the American national anthem.
  • Fergie singing the National Anthem was so bad...
  • In order to stop all the black lives matter protests Just play the national anthem on repeat, they will all sit down or kneel.
  • How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? "Oh secant, you say?"
  • What does ET stand for? His national anthem
  • I hear that everyone loves it when you share your political views, so this is what I stand for... the national anthem, old people on the bus and if someone yells "your chair is on fire"
  • What does ET stand for? The alien national anthem
  • What did Zeus pick as Mount Olympus' national anthem? Greeced Lightning.
  • Fergie is so patriotic Even her voice kneeled for the National anthem.
  • Fergie's rendition of the national anthem was so bad....... that even Colin Kaepernick had to stand up and walk out on this one.
Anthem joke, Fergie's rendition of the national anthem was so bad.......

Giggle-Inducing Anthem Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about anthem you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anemone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anthem pranks.

The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem

Concerto for o**... in a minor.

I went to the doctors today

told him "I've got a problem, every time I finish m**... I sing the American national anthem".
The doctor said, "Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that".

Americans, don't hate on i**... Mexican immigrants so much ...

For f**...'s sake, even your national anthem welcomes them.

"José can you see ..."

South Africa's new National Anthem.

Sounds of silence:
Hello, darkness,
my old friend.
I've come to talk
with you again.
Because a darkness
softly creeping.
Silos crack while I
was sleeping.
And the power is
off once again,
This is South Africa,
my friend.

Not sure what was worse tonight

Not sure which was worse tonight, Pacquiao losing or Jamie Foxx's version of the national anthem.

American great

I had to go see my doctor today because I'm having an unusual problem. I say to him, I've got a problem, every time I finish m**... I sing the American national anthem .
The doctor said, Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that .

Want to know how to stop the "Not My President" Riots?

Play the National Anthem and they'll all kneel.

While I was on the bus, the person standing next to me played the national anthem

While I was sitting on the bus, the person standing next to me played the national anthem,
I stood up and he took my seat.

The Chili's theme song from the late nineties would make a far better anthem for the 'Amber Alert'.

*sings* I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

When do NFL players propose to their girlfriends?

During the playing of the National Anthem.

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the s**... prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

I'm gonna pick up Anthem today and see what shuts down first.

My PS4 or BioWare?

In the middle of the night...

...a frustrated wife starts singing the national anthem loudly. What are you doing, darling? inquires the husband. Well, I was giving it one last shot, honey, replied the wife, the whole nation stands e**... when this song is heard.

I played the USSR anthem at my private school

And now its a public school.

A drunk guy goes up to a lady dressed in black

A drunk guy goes up to a lady dressed in black and says:
- Will you dance with me, lady?
- No and for three reasons.
- And what are the reasons?
With a very serious look on her face she says:
- Firstly you're drunk in a f**..., secondly you don't dance during the Nacional anthem and lastly I'm not a lady, I'm the priest.

The CEO of Coca-Cola calls Vladimir Putin.

Mr Putin! I noticed you've changed the Russian anthem. Do you have any plans to change the colors of your flag as well and return to the previous purely red flag? If you'd put a Coca-Cola logo in the corner, we'd solve all your financial troubles for the next five years.
Putin puts the CEO on hold while he discusses with his generals. Psst, when does our contract with Aquafresh end?

An English spy, a Scottish spy and an Irish spy are captured by the n**....

The n**... ask if they have any last wishes
The Irishman says "I want the irish national anthem to be played before I die"
The Scottish man says "I want the Scottish anthem to be played on bagpipes before I die"
The Englishman says "I wanna die first"

Anthem joke, Yo momma so fat...

jokes about anthem