Antelope Jokes

Following is our collection of cantelope humor and snowwoman one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Antelope puns for adults, dirty deer jokes or clean pyrenees gags for kids.

There is an abundance of constrictor jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes on antelope. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ant witze you can hear about antelope.

The Best jokes about Antelope

Three blonds are out walking in the Forest when they come across a set of tracks

Those are deer tracks! Said the first.

No! They're antelope tracks! Said the second

Oh no... they are definitely bear tracks! said the third.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump

A Cherokee chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant...

The first squaw gave birth to a boy, and the chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of buffalo hide.

A few days later, the second squaw gave birth, and also to a boy. The chief was extremely happy; he built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third squaw gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details of the birth a secret.

He built the third wife a teepee out of hippopotamus hide and challenged the people of the tribe to guess the details of the birth. Whoever in the tribe could guess correctly would receive a small prize.

Several people tried, but they were unsuccessful in their guesses. Finally, a young brave came forth and declared that the third wife had delivered twin boys.

"Correct!" cried the chief. "But how did you know?"

"It's simple," replied the warrior. "The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house?

This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.

What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope?

A cantelope.

Why did the antelope go to her sisters house?

She wanted to see her nephewlope

What do you call a negative antelope?

A Cantelope.

A vulture is at the airport...

He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".

What do you call a pessimistic antelope?

A can'telope!

Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?

You're only allowed one carrion.

What do African antelope herders and dyslexic politicians have in common?

They're both very worried about gnu control.

What do you call an antelope that is forbidden to marry?


Why don't antelopes play poker in the African grasslands?

Too many cheetahs.

Why didn't the antelopes get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a deer who ran away with her ant lover?

An Antelope.

Science fact!

There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

What do you call an antelope who gets sick from the fruit salad the morning of his wedding?

A cantelope

Guys I'm so proud of this joke

What do you call a disabled antelope?

a cantelope

There is a fence

A deer walks up to the fence and jumps over it.

An antelope walks up to the fence and goes under it.

A French guy walks up to the fence and surrenders.

A German guy walks up to the fence and builds a bigger gun.

An Italian walks up to the fence and starts eating pasta.

A pothead walks up to the fence, sits on it and starts smoking weed.

An American walks up to the fence, shoots the pothead, tests how sturdy the fence is, and strips it up to put it on the Mexican border.

Did you hear about the antelope...

Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed?

He was a self dressed stamped antelope.

What do you call an antelope with 3 legs?

A slantelope.

I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope.

I was impala'd

A hunter was out hunting for antelope

When he finally saw one in the distance, he took his shot. As he walked up to where his dead prey lay, he discovered it wasn't an antelope. It was another hunter. Just then, a man comes running out into the clearing. The hunter's friend.

"What the hell are you doing?! He clearly said 'Don't shoot! I'm not an antelope'. Didn't you hear him?"

The hunter looked at the man stupefied.

"Oh. I thought he said he \*was\* an antelope."

Who did the ant run away with?


Farmer Joe, who has the largest collection of antelope in the country, claims he has 18000 animals but I only counted 3051.

Sad. Fake gnus!

What do you call an antelope that can't reproduce?

A cantelope.

I once saw an antelope

Can you imagine that? It was the talk of the whole ant colony.

What do you call an antelope that can't sleep?

An insomniantelope

What do you can a pessimistic antelope?

A cantaloupe

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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