Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Antarctica Jokes and Friends
Batman was my tour guide in Antarctica.
What can we even find around here?
Justice.
What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica?
A BIPOLAR BEAR
After being granted asylum in the Antarctica...
I guess you could call him, Edward snowed-in.
I'm so sorry
What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?
Ice-is
I'll show myself out.
There was a robbery in Antarctica, but it was stopped. There was even a party to celebrate
Justice was served
How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?
They always have several lairs.
What does a t**... in Antarctica say?
Allahu Akburrrrrr
What is the drunkest animal in Antarctica?
A Pengwine.
That's a /u/amanescape original. I can show myself out.
Why is Antarctica controversial?
It's a polarizing topic.
What do you call a hippo in Antarctica?!
LOST!!
(I'll show myself out now)
Did you hear about the failed mission to Antarctica?
Their journey went south.
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Global warming is real. Last year in antarctica, a 17 mile long piece of ice broke off a glacier and dropped into the ocean.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Building in Antarctica is difficult!
No matter what I tried I couldn't get my house to stay together. I tried concrete, brick and mortar, even duct tape! I finally found something that worked though, it was quite simple, igloo'd it together.
I got it all figured out. I will be a male stripper in Antarctica
My stage name? South Pole.
What happens to a guy left alone in Antarctica?
He becomes icesolated
What did the man say inside a simulation of Antarctica?
This is really code.
Where is the only place without ants?
ANTarctica
They found a 106-year-old fruitcake in Antarctica
That's right. They found Elton John in Antarctica.
What do you call zombies in Antarctica
Icy dead people.
What do you call kids in Antarctica?
Chilldren.
I met a guy with a girlfriend in the arctic and a boyfriend in Antarctica...
Bipolar
Why did the Flat Earther move to Antarctica?
He wanted to live on the edge.
A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been
After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.
"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.
What do you call OJ Simpson, trapped in Antarctica with no supplies except a one-pound bag of m**...?
A s**... cold killer.
I'm Matt Larson, professional submarine pilot. I've been to the ocean floor in Antarctica and know my way around any sub ever designed. Ask me...
It's strange that we don't hear more concern from the flat earthers about Antarctica melting
You'd think they would be worried about the ice wall springing a leak and draining the ocean.
The Flat Earth Society held it's annual conference in Antarctica this year...
... but attendance fell off.
Why is Antarctica the least corrupt continent?
Because it has justice
Why does Antarctica have the highest IQ on average
Because only scientist live there
There's only one way to leave Antarctica
North.
Did you guys hear about a t**... group flying down south for a giant snowball fight against penguins
It was all over the news, the headlines read "Isis huge in Antarctica".
If you were in charge of an Army defending Antarctica ...
What would you do when intelligence reported that the enemy was invading the north coast?
What do you call a short Mexican researcher in Antarctica?
A Burrito
First joke I've ever come up with. My Hispanic wife laughed her b**... off.
No one has covid in Antarctica
Because everyone's ice-o-lated
What do you call a bear that has been to Antarctica and the North Pole?
A bipolar bear
No one in Antarctica has COVID19
Its because they are all Ice-olated
Why does Antarctica have no Covid-19 cases?
Because they're already in ICEolation.
Why does nobody in Antarctica have COVID-19?
Because they're too ice-o-lated.
Did you hear about the people with Covid in Antarctica?
They're all in Ice-olation.
Iceberg
A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.
One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns to Antarctica. His best friend immediately takes notice of the amount of weight his friend lost while on vacation.
He says "you look amazing my friend, you really slimmed down! Was vacation everything you thawed it would be?"
An Antarctic explorer has a sore a**... from sitting on the ice all day.
Since there's currently no doctor on base, he phones his doctor 5,000km away in Melbourne. The doctor says it's probably just piles, but since I can't examine you, you'd better send a photo just in case it's something more serious.
Worried, the explorer blurts out how the h**... do I take a photo of piles on my own b**... in the middle of Antarctica?!?
The doctor replies I'd suggest a polarrhoid camera.
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you can't break the ice.
What's the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common?
Living within continents.
What does me during s**... and Antarctica have in common?
Lack of wood...
What did the explorer say when he spotted Antarctica?
I see land.
What did the pirate do when he got lost and ended up in Antarctica?
He searched for brrrrrrr-ied treasure!
Did you hear that one joke the comedian in Antarctica told?
Me neither, guess he should try yelling it louder next time.
A pirate captain was sailing to Antarctica in search of treasure.
One morning, his first mate woke him.
Captain, the ship won't move! The ocean is frozen solid!
The pirate captain rose from his bed, yawned, and stretched. After a good scratch, he put on his boots and coat, and strode out of his quarters.
As he arrived at the bow of the ship, his men gathered around in nervous anticipation. He pulled out his pocket telescope and took a good, long look around the entire horizon. He collapsed his telescope, placed it back in his pocket, and clasped his hands behind his back. After some time, he tipped his head down toward his first mate and said:
Ice sea.
