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Another Year Older Jokes

8 another year older jokes and hilarious another year older puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about another year older that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Witty Another Year Older Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What is a good another year older joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

The older man and his problems

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform s**.... He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more s**... and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"

It is Fred's first day in prison.

After spending the morning being processed, he is taken to the huge mess hall for lunch. He finds a seat at a table full of inmates who look like they have been behind bars for years. Suddenly, an inmate stands in the middle of the room and yells, "41!" As he sits down, the room erupts in laughter. Then another prisoner stands and yells, "123!" Again, there is laughter throughout the room.
Puzzled, Fred asks the inmate sitting next to him what's going on. "Well," the older inmate says, "Most of us have been here so long that we have heard all the jokes. So we just number them and use the number."
Fred says, "I love to tell jokes! Give me one."
"Okay," says the older inmate. "Everybody loves old 72. It always gets a big laugh"
Fred stands up, waits for the laughter to die down from the last joke, and yells, "72!" There is nothing but silence as hundreds of inmates just turn and stare at him.
Fred sits down and looks at the inmate who gave him the number.
"What happened?" he asks.
The older man shrugs and says, "Some people just can't tell a joke."

My Father's Favorite Joke

An old man and a bartender are having an argument. The old man keeps asking for aged scotch. The bartender gives him a drink and the old man spits it out and says its only 10 year scotch and he wanted older. The bartender gets another bottle and gives another drink. The old man spit that drink out and says its only 20 year scotch and that he wanted older. The bartender leaves for about five minutes and came back with another drink. The old man drinks it, spits it out, and asks what it was.
The bartender says: "How old am I?"

I asked my grandma what people use to think of democrats and republicans over 70 years ago

*Watching the news with my grandma*
Me: Grammy, when you were really young, did they talk about democrats and republicans, like they do today?
Grandma: What do you mean?
Me: Were they always hostile towards one another, like this lady on the news.
Grandma: Oh yeah, that's one thing that has never changed over the years.
Me: Well, what do you remember people saying about democrats and republicans when you were young.
Me: What is the first thing you remember about it?
Grandma: Well, I always heard the older people say the same thing
Grandma: "Republicans are for the rich, and democrats are for the poor."
Me: What did they say about everyone in the middle?
Grandma: I don't know, they always just talked about getting s**....

Sandy, an older women in her fifties, has a near death experience...

...later, on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live.
Sandy decides she's anyway in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox and breast augmentation. A few week later she's crossing the street and gets hit by a car and is killed.
She comes up to heaven and sees God. I don't understand, she says to God You said I had another thirty years?
God answers her, I didn't recognize you.

An elderly woman visits a walk-in clinic...

...where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what happened. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the young doctor was and demanded, What's the matter with you? That woman is 84 years old, and you told her she was pregnant?
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without even looking up, asked, Does she still have the hiccups?

A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant.


He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, “Oh, no.
We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.”
The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied,
“Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”

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