Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Anonymous Jokes and Friends
Why do people who like b**... shy away from anonymous one-night stands?
There's no strings attached.
Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?
AA, Eh
If you're thinking about joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous remember...
The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
I just arrived at my "p**... Ejaculators Anonymous" when I noticed...
... no else was there. I came too early, again.
Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?
Because all they serve is cold turkey.
alcoholic alzheimer's anonymous.
No one knows who they are, or what they're drinking.
What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?
anonagon.
I called Masturbators Anonymous to let them know I wouldn't be at the meeting...
...because I'm just not feeling myself today.
I went to p**... Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there.
I guess I came too soon.
I skipped my meeting of "Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous"
No one else came either.
I just joined a support group.
Hokey Pokey Anonymous
With their help, I turned myself around.
You can explore anonymous secure reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anonymous awomen dad jokes. There are also anonymous puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My favorite quote.
"Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*
So I heard that the hackers "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda...
Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous
I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed.
Well... Well... Well...
Welcome to stutterers anonymous
So, Anonymous has declared war on ISIS
... ironic that 72 virgins are now attacking the terrorists
"Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?"
"Yes, David, how can we help you?"
"Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip."
Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip.
Dispatcher: Go ahead.
Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay.
I can finally scratch "murdering an anonymous vagrant" off my bucket list.
I didn't do it, it just doesn't seem all that appealing anymore I guess.
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous
I see a lot of new faces here this week, and I just want you to know I'm disappointed.
"Hello, is this the anonymous FBI tip line?"
"Yes, Dave."
Did you hear anonymous declared war on ISIS?
A: Kind of ironic that they're now being attacked by 72 virgins
"Hello everyone, welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous."
"I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
I'm happy to invite you to tomorrow's "Masturbaters Anonymous" meeting.
Please come alone
Thank you for calling the anonymous NSA hotline
What would you like to report, Peter?
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous
I see a lot of new faces today.
What do you call an anonymous psychic?
A 4chan teller
...I'll see myself out
I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth.
I think they may be trying to groom me.
Plastic surgery anonymous
"Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."
What's the best place to find anonymous tips?
A glory hole.
Finally made the call to Gamblers Anonymous
Bet them 3:1 they couldn't help me
Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous.
I'm disappointed that you all came today.
I didn't know what to wear to my first Masturbaters Anonymous meeting the other day...
So I just came in my pants
Tried to go to my first p**... ejaculators anonymous meeting today
Turns out its tomorrow.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous...
... I see a few new faces here and I have to admit, I'm disappointed.
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous
I see some new faces with us today so I must say I'm disappointed.
At Hypochondriacs Anonymous....
The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
Write a wise saying and your name will live on.
----Anonymous
I went to my plastic surgery addicts anonymous meeting today.
I saw a lot of new faces.
Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous.
What's your name?
I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said 'Why? We don't have gambling problems!'
I replied, 'You wanna bet?'
I hosted an Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous meeting
Nobody came
Kleptomaniacs Anonymous
Yesterday, I attended a meeting for people suffering from kleptomania. When I walked in the room, a man greeted me and told me to take a seat, so I did. As I was leaving, he told me to put it back or he was gonna call the cops.
Welcome to m**... Addicts Anonymous!
I see everyone came today, which is disappointing.
What is the hardest thing about being in Hypochondriacs Anonymous?
Admitting that you don't have a problem.
So the Hacker group Anonymous just declared war on ISIS and Al-Queida
Quite ironic that terrorists will be killed by 72 virgins.
Did you hear about the undercover cop who uncovered a glory hole in a public toilet?
Turns out he received an anonymous tip.
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.
Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!
Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Anonymous!
It's great to see so many new faces today!
Hypocondriacs Anonymous
Step 1. Admit you dont have a problem.
My favorite 2 liner
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces this week and I'm disappointed.
Why was the FBI argent happy after he visited a glory hole?
Because he received an anonymous tip.
Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous?
He had a quack addiction.
I can't believe I only joined Liars Anonymous this morning..
And they've already made me president.
I went to the p**... Ejaculators Anonymous support group today.
Turns out it's tomorrow.
Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm an alcoholic
Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous
I know, I'm just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.
A gift from Kanye
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I got an anonymous gift for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty sure it's actually from Kanye West," she tells the bartender. "What makes you think that?" the bartender asks. "The bad wrapping," she replies.
My rehab meetings have really taught me a lot about other people.
I'm so proud to be a established member of over sharer's anonymous.
Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles.
Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.
I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting one time and let me tell you
What a bunch of losers.
An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.
He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm. He pours one glass with water and the other with whiskey. He then drops the worm into the bottle of water, where it wriggles around for a little while, but is ok.
He then picks it up and drops it into the whiskey, where it struggles and soon dies.
He asks the participants what does this show us?
Bubba Joe stands up at the back of the crowd and exclaims If I drink whiskey I won't get worms!
Before I start this week's Plastic Surgery Anonymous meeting,
I'd like to bring attention to some of the new faces I see here today..
I went to a kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting last night..
I went to grab a chair but they were already taken.
