Anonymous Jokes

124 anonymous jokes and hilarious anonymous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anonymous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh without compromising your anonymity? Check out this article for the best anonymous jokes from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, and even a few unsuspecting ones from extremists and the Rapture. Whether you’re searching for a practical joke or a story with a punch line, these anonymous jokes guarantee a good time. Secure your anonymity and enjoy!

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Funniest Anonymous Short Jokes

Short anonymous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anonymous humour may include short unknown jokes also.

  1. So I heard that the hacker "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda... Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!
  2. So, Anonymous has declared war on ISIS ... ironic that 72 virgins are now attacking the terrorists
  3. Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm an alcoholic Sir, this is Triple A, not alcoholics anonymous
    I know, I'm just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.
  4. "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
  5. Plastic surgery anonymous "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."
  6. Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed.
  7. I didn't know what to wear to my first Masturbaters Anonymous meeting the other day... So I just came in my pants
  8. Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous I see some new faces with us today so I must say I'm disappointed.
  9. If you're thinking about joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous remember... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
  10. My favorite 2 liner Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces this week and I'm disappointed.

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Anonymous One Liners

Which anonymous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anonymous? I can suggest the ones about nickname and dummy.

  1. "Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?" "Yes, David, how can we help you?"
  2. Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous. I'm disappointed that you all came today.
  3. Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous? He had a quack addiction.
  4. Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous I see a lot of new faces today.
  5. Write a wise saying and your name will live on. ----Anonymous
  6. Well... Well... Well... Welcome to stutterers anonymous
  7. At Hypochondriacs Anonymous.... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
  8. What's the best place to find anonymous tips? A glory hole.
  9. "Hello, is this the anonymous FBI tip line?" "Yes, Dave."
  10. Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A? AA, Eh
  11. Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous. What's your name?
  12. I hosted an Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous meeting Nobody came
  13. I'm happy to invite you to tomorrow's "Masturbaters Anonymous" meeting. Please come alone
  14. What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous? anonagon.
  15. Thank you for calling the anonymous NSA hotline What would you like to report, Peter?

Alcoholic Anonymous Jokes

Here is a list of funny alcoholic anonymous jokes and even better alcoholic anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey.
  • alcoholic alzheimer's anonymous. No one knows who they are, or what they're drinking.
  • I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows
  • I went to Alcoholics Anonymous and when I arrived... Nobody was anonymous, they were all friends, all brothers. So we went out to celebrate.
  • Well I finally solved my drinking problem, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous Yeah I still drink, I just use a different name, that's all
  • Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'
  • Told my Canadian friend my Alcoholics Anonymous teacher gave my homework an A "You got an AA A, eh?"
  • What do Alcoholics Anonymous and circle jerks have in common? They're both about pulling yourself together
  • I just finished Organic Chemistry, and I still don't understand why we named the alcohols. I thought they were supposed to be anonymous.
  • They are going to change the name of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) as people kept getting it mixed up with AA (automobile Association) The new name will be The Royal alcoholics Club...the RAC!

Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes

Here is a list of funny alcoholics anonymous jokes and even better alcoholics anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After a rough night, I woke up one morning and thought I should join Alcoholics Anonymous... I changed my mind though, because I am NOT a quitter.
  • Hello Alcoholics Anonymous? I'd like to anonymously report a bunch of alcoholics getting together in my neighbor's yard.
    "Sorry sir, that's not the point of the program"
  • It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.
  • I think I know why it's called 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. Because everyone there forget their name.
  • What do you call a private bar full of drunks? Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Alexander Hamilton was kicked out of alcoholics anonymous He was not throwin away his shot
  • What do you call a Native family reunion? An alcoholics anonymous meeting.
  • An Irish man goes to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
  • New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**... To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
Anonymous joke, New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**...

Gamblers Anonymous Jokes

Here is a list of funny gamblers anonymous jokes and even better gamblers anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Finally made the call to Gamblers Anonymous Bet them 3:1 they couldn't help me
  • I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting one time and let me tell you What a bunch of losers.
  • So my wife and I need to go to Gamblers Anonymous because of our money problems I bet her twenty bucks I could finish all the steps before her. What are my odds?
  • Wanna bet? $100 says I'm the most addicted person at my gamblers anonymous meeting tonight.

Narcotics Anonymous Jokes

Here is a list of funny narcotics anonymous jokes and even better narcotics anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Narcotics Anonymous It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Anonymous joke, Narcotics Anonymous

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Anonymous Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about anonymous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anonymous pranks.

Why do people who like b**... shy away from anonymous one-night stands?

There's no strings attached.

I called Masturbators Anonymous to let them know I wouldn't be at the meeting...

...because I'm just not feeling myself today.

Some guys in my town have set up a group called Procrastinators Anonymous.

We'll get around to having a meeting sometime.

I skipped my meeting of "Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous"

No one else came either.

I just joined a support group.

Hokey Pokey Anonymous
With their help, I turned myself around.

Literal People Anonymous

Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!

My favorite quote.

"Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an s**... club?

"Troll in the dungeon!"

Hello and welcome to Hypocrite's Anonymous.

What's your name?

"Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip."

Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip.
Dispatcher: Go ahead.
Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay.

I can finally scratch "murdering an anonymous vagrant" off my bucket list.

I didn't do it, it just doesn't seem all that appealing anymore I guess.

I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting

but all the seats were taken.

Jesus returned to earth...

And stayed anonymous for a while, but eventually a priest discovered who he was. He was discreet, but insisted that he take a solid gold cross. Before he took it, he prayed to his father and said,
"Father, should I accept this gift?"
God replies, "The solid gold cross?"
"What would you do with a solid gold cross? You could hardly carry a wooden one!"

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous

I see a lot of new faces here this week, and I just want you to know I'm disappointed.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Amputees anonymous

Did you hear anonymous declared war on ISIS?

A: Kind of ironic that they're now being attacked by 72 virgins

What do you call an anonymous psychic?

A 4chan teller
...I'll see myself out

I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth.

I think they may be trying to groom me.

I recently began using TOR to browse anonymously on my phone

Sent from

A friend told me about Procrastination Anonymous

I said I'll go later

"Welcome to Cheapskates Anonymous, would anybody like to start?"

"I'd like to say that I'm not a cheapskate. I'm just here for the free coffee."

At a Plastic-Surgery-Addicts-Anonymous meeting

Ah, I see we have a few new faces here today.

A Chinese Family had 4 Children Anonymously

They always had to hide the 4chans

Why do police officers frequent glory holes?

To receive anonymous tips.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous...

... I see a few new faces here and I have to admit, I'm disappointed.

I went to my plastic surgery addicts anonymous meeting today.

I saw a lot of new faces.

Welcome to Existentialists Anonymous.

Can anyone tell me why we're here?

Dads Anonymous

Dad: Go on, it's safe here.
Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern
*One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely*

I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said 'Why? We don't have gambling problems!'

I replied, 'You wanna bet?'

Kleptomaniacs Anonymous:

Helping people to help themselves

Kleptomaniacs Anonymous

Yesterday, I attended a meeting for people suffering from kleptomania. When I walked in the room, a man greeted me and told me to take a seat, so I did. As I was leaving, he told me to put it back or he was gonna call the cops.

Welcome to m**... Addicts Anonymous!

I see everyone came today, which is disappointing.

What did the Cannibals Anonymous group say to Dave when he showed up an hour late to their weekly meeting?

Nothing. They just gave him the cold shoulder.

If you wanted to stay completely anonymous, which item of clothing would be the worst to wear?

A dress.

What is the hardest thing about being in Hypochondriacs Anonymous?

Admitting that you don't have a problem.

So the Hacker group Anonymous just declared war on ISIS and Al-Queida

Quite ironic that terrorists will be killed by 72 virgins.

Did you hear about the undercover cop who uncovered a glory hole in a public toilet?

Turns out he received an anonymous tip.

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Anonymous!

It's great to see so many new faces today!

Hypocondriacs Anonymous

Step 1. Admit you dont have a problem.

Why was the FBI argent happy after he visited a glory hole?

Because he received an anonymous tip.

A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils.

Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.
Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.

"Let us gradually stand and recognize our newest member of Overeaters Anonymous...

...and welcome him into the folds."

I can't believe I only joined Liars Anonymous this morning..

And they've already made me president.

"Invent a clever line, and forever your name lives on."


A gift from Kanye

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I got an anonymous gift for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty sure it's actually from Kanye West," she tells the bartender. "What makes you think that?" the bartender asks. "The bad wrapping," she replies.

My rehab meetings have really taught me a lot about other people.

I'm so proud to be a established member of over sharer's anonymous.

Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles.

Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.

An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.

He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm. He pours one glass with water and the other with whiskey. He then drops the worm into the bottle of water, where it wriggles around for a little while, but is ok.
He then picks it up and drops it into the whiskey, where it struggles and soon dies.
He asks the participants what does this show us?
Bubba Joe stands up at the back of the crowd and exclaims If I drink whiskey I won't get worms!

Anonymous joke, An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.

jokes about anonymous