Anonymous Jokes
113 anonymous jokes and hilarious anonymous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anonymous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh without compromising your anonymity? Check out this article for the best anonymous jokes from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, and even a few unsuspecting ones from extremists and the Rapture. Whether you’re searching for a practical joke or a story with a punch line, these anonymous jokes guarantee a good time. Secure your anonymity and enjoy!
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Funniest Anonymous Short Jokes
Short anonymous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anonymous humour may include short unknown jokes also.
- "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
- Plastic surgery anonymous "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."
- If you're thinking about joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous remember... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- My favorite quote. "Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*
- I called Masturbators Anonymous to let them know I wouldn't be at the meeting... ...because I'm just not feeling myself today.
- I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said 'Why? We don't have gambling problems!' I replied, 'You wanna bet?'
- "Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip." Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip.
Dispatcher: Go ahead.
Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay. - I went to a kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting last night.. I went to grab a chair but they were already taken.
- Did you hear about the undercover cop who uncovered a glory hole in a public toilet? Turns out he received an anonymous tip.
- I can't believe I only joined Liars Anonymous this morning.. And they've already made me president.
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Anonymous One Liners
Which anonymous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anonymous? I can suggest the ones about nickname and dummy.
- "Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?" "Yes, David, how can we help you?"
- Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous. I'm disappointed that you all came today.
- Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous? He had a quack addiction.
- Write a wise saying and your name will live on. ----Anonymous
- Well... Well... Well... Welcome to stutterers anonymous
- At Hypochondriacs Anonymous.... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- "Hello, is this the anonymous FBI tip line?" "Yes, Dave."
- Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A? AA, Eh
- Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous. What's your name?
- I'm happy to invite you to tomorrow's "Masturbaters Anonymous" meeting. Please come alone
- Thank you for calling the anonymous NSA hotline What would you like to report, Peter?
- Finally made the call to Gamblers Anonymous Bet them 3:1 they couldn't help me
- What do you call an anonymous psychic? A 4chan teller
...I'll see myself out - I skipped my meeting of "Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous" No one else came either.
- I went to my plastic surgery addicts anonymous meeting today. I saw a lot of new faces.
Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
Here is a list of funny alcoholics anonymous jokes and even better alcoholics anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why shouldn't you join alcoholics anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey.
- alcoholic alzheimer's anonymous. No one knows who they are, or what they're drinking.
- I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows
- I went to Alcoholics Anonymous and when I arrived... Nobody was anonymous, they were all friends, all brothers. So we went out to celebrate.
- Well I finally solved my drinking problem, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous Yeah I still drink, I just use a different name, that's all
- Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'
- Told my Canadian friend my Alcoholics Anonymous teacher gave my homework an A "You got an AA A, eh?"
- What do Alcoholics Anonymous and circle jerks have in common? They're both about pulling yourself together
- I just finished Organic Chemistry, and I still don't understand why we named the alcohols. I thought they were supposed to be anonymous.
- They are going to change the name of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) as people kept getting it mixed up with AA (automobile Association) The new name will be The Royal alcoholics Club...the RAC!
Gamblers Anonymous Jokes
Here is a list of funny gamblers anonymous jokes and even better gamblers anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So my wife and I need to go to Gamblers Anonymous because of our money problems I bet her twenty bucks I could finish all the steps before her. What are my odds?
- Wanna bet? $100 says I'm the most addicted person at my gamblers anonymous meeting tonight.
Narcotics Anonymous Jokes
Here is a list of funny narcotics anonymous jokes and even better narcotics anonymous puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Narcotics Anonymous It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Anonymous Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about anonymous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anonymous pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do people who like b**... shy away from anonymous one-night stands?
There's no strings attached.
Some guys in my town have set up a group called Procrastinators Anonymous.
We'll get around to having a meeting sometime.
I just joined a support group.
Hokey Pokey Anonymous
With their help, I turned myself around.
Literal People Anonymous
Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!
Agoraphobia
I didn't go to my Agoraphobics Anonymous meeting today, obviously.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an s**... club?
"Troll in the dungeon!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, Anonymous has declared war on ISIS
... ironic that 72 virgins are now attacking the terrorists
Anonymous doesn't hack Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can't use a computer.
I think my girlfriend joined Anonymous
She does not forgive, she does not forget and I'm always excepting her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can finally scratch "murdering an anonymous vagrant" off my bucket list.
I didn't do it, it just doesn't seem all that appealing anymore I guess.
I am writing books about a boy who goes around accusing people of crimes based on anonymous testimony.
I'm calling it *Wikipedia Brown *.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sarah, i understand that you are a feminist...
...but you can't end your prayer with "awomen" instead of "amen"
credits to an anonymous facebook post of which i was too lazy to read the name
Jesus returned to earth...
And stayed anonymous for a while, but eventually a priest discovered who he was. He was discreet, but insisted that he take a solid gold cross. Before he took it, he prayed to his father and said,
"Father, should I accept this gift?"
God replies, "The solid gold cross?"
"Yes."
"What would you do with a solid gold cross? You could hardly carry a wooden one!"
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Amputees anonymous
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear anonymous declared war on ISIS?
A: Kind of ironic that they're now being attacked by 72 virgins
"Hello everyone to social anxiety anonymous"
"I see no one has come and I have to say I am very disappointed."
I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth.
I think they may be trying to groom me.
I recently began using TOR to browse anonymously on my phone
Sent from 123.248.188.75
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the best place to find anonymous tips?
A glory hole.
I stopped attending my Cannibals Anonymous meetings…
I've had my fill.
Plastic Surgery Anonymous is one of the few places...
where it's disappointing to see a new face each week.
A friend told me about Procrastination Anonymous
I said I'll go later
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a lot of new faces tonight, which is disappointing.
"Welcome to Cheapskates Anonymous, would anybody like to start?"
"I'd like to say that I'm not a cheapskate. I'm just here for the free coffee."
A Chinese Family had 4 Children Anonymously
They always had to hide the 4chans
Why do police officers frequent glory holes?
To receive anonymous tips.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I didn't know what to wear to my first Masturbaters Anonymous meeting the other day...
So I just came in my pants
I never could think of a name for my pet mouse...
Guess he'll always be anonymous.
I anonymously send my friends quotes from Voltaire, Kant and Rousseau...
... someday I'll Enlighten them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**...
To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
What does anonymity smell like?
Nobody nose
Welcome to Existentialists Anonymous.
Can anyone tell me why we're here?
Dads Anonymous
Dad: Go on, it's safe here.
Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern
*One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely*
At Dad's Anonymous
Me: I'm u/IntrepidIlliad and I'm having problems with my dad joke addiction
Everyone: Hi, having problems with my dad joke addiction
Anonymous philanthropist donates..
..59 human kidneys to local hospital!
Kleptomaniacs Anonymous:
Helping people to help themselves
Welcome to Self-victimization Addicts Anonymous.
I see everyone has come to seek help once again, and I must say I'm very disappointed.
What did the Cannibals Anonymous group say to Dave when he showed up an hour late to their weekly meeting?
Nothing. They just gave him the cold shoulder.
If you wanted to stay completely anonymous, which item of clothing would be the worst to wear?
A dress.
Flossy the lamb isn't a lamb anymore, but won't give up frolicking
We're going to have to send her to Gambollers Anonymous
Just got back from my very first Reposters Anonymous meeting
Talk about deja vu.
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.
Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the FBI argent happy after he visited a glory hole?
Because he received an anonymous tip.
A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils.
Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.
Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.
"Let us gradually stand and recognize our newest member of Overeaters Anonymous...
...and welcome him into the folds."
"Invent a clever line, and forever your name lives on."
*(-Anonymous)*
A gift from Kanye
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I got an anonymous gift for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty sure it's actually from Kanye West," she tells the bartender. "What makes you think that?" the bartender asks. "The bad wrapping," she replies.
My rehab meetings have really taught me a lot about other people.
I'm so proud to be a established member of over sharer's anonymous.
Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles.
Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.
