Annual Check Up Jokes
10 annual check up jokes and hilarious annual check up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about annual check up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Annual Check Up Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good annual check up joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop jerking off.
I asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
A man goes to the doctor
Not sure if this is a repost. Haven't seen it here yet.
A man goes to his doctor for his annual check up. The doctor does all the usual tests, and comes back into the room. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You don't have much longer left to live."
"What do you mean I don't have much longer left to live? How long have I got?"
"10."
"10 what?! Months? Weeks?!"
"9..."
Think it Over
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah," said the man, "They're in favor of it, 15-to-2."
At my last annual check, my doctor suggested ...
At my last annual check, my doctor suggested that I should lose some weight and take the bike to work.
But, after a week I think it just takes too much room in the trunk.
Annual medical check
A man went in for his annual medical checkup and the doctor said "dont eat anything fatty"
The man sighed and said "does that include burgers and fries?"
"No, fatty, I mean dont eat anything!" Replied the doctor
Santa's annual check ride
As the sled rotated off the runway, the examiner pulled a double-barreled shotgun from under his cloak and blasted one of the raindeer. He then turned to the perplexed Santa and said "Engine failure on take-off!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old age
An old man went to the doctor for his annual check up.
The doctor asks the old man to show him his s**... organs.
The old man sticks out his tongue and shows him two fingers.
My new mower says I need to check the oil before each use and change it annually.
I think I'd rather change it the old fashioned way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
80 year old man visits the doctor.
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I even have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime b**... sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the b**... fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that b**...."
The doctor replied "My point exactly."
An 80-year old man gets a check-up...
An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
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