Annoying Kid Jokes
34 annoying kid jokes and hilarious annoying kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about annoying kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Annoying Kid Short Jokes
Short annoying kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The annoying kid humour may include short friendly kid jokes also.
- I once knew this annoying couple that would show everyone they met a picture of their kid. One day I snapped and told them... "It's been 2 years. You're never going to find him."
- Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye.
- My friend told me that I need to stop singing I'm a believer because it was getting annoying and I laughed because I thought she was kidding Then I saw her face
- There is only one thing more annoying than the 877-kars-4-kids commercials.... Any Patriots fan this morning.
- I've been sober for 14 years now I'm not an alcoholic, just an annoying kid on the Internet
- I married a woman with two kids, 6 and 9. Those aren't their ages, just how annoying they are on a scale from 1-10.
- My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding. But then I saw her face.
- What do flight attendants and priests have in common? They both get annoyed when the kid starts screaming.
- Although I have to repeat myself several times for my children to listen, I take great comfort knowing that one day nothing will annoy them more than me repeating myself.
- My strategy to stopping my kids fight is to copy them. It annoys them and they just give up as long as they don't commit i**.... i'll be fine
Share These Annoying Kid Jokes With Friends
Annoying Kid One Liners
Which annoying kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with annoying kid? I can suggest the ones about quiet kid and annoying.
- Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
- I hate when parents say their kids age in months It's annoyed me for about 36 months now
- The carbon monoxide detector is really annoying. But hey, at least the kids are quiet.
- most annoying kid ever
- A kid annoyed me today so I threw a p**... of salt in his face
Annoying Kid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about annoying kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean young kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make annoying kid pranks.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
Our neighbors got really annoyed at me after I played catch with their son yesterday.
But in fairness, I couldn't find a ball, and the kid actually seemed to enjoy getting tossed back and forth. So I don't know what the big deal is.
A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student.
The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string.
Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string.
The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is.
The kid picks up and says,
"Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."
Sometimes at Wal-Mart...
Sometimes at Wal-Mart I like to fill my grocery cart up with wonderful toys. Then I try to find a mother with annoying kids and I hand the kids one of the toys. I make a quick get-a-way so the mother can deal with the aftermath.
A man is driving the car with his family in it
He gets bored and begins going faster and faster. His wife taps on his shoulder and says:
"Can you please slow down, you are going too fast"
The man responds:
"Don't worry, God will keep us safe"
And he speeds up even more. After a few seconds his kids tap on his shoulder and say:
"Dad please slow down"
The man starts to get annoyed and says:
"I told you not to worry, God will keep us safe"
He once again speeds up even more. After a few seconds he feels another tap on his shoulder. He asks angrily:
"What the h**... is it this time?"
"This is God. Can you please stop the car for a moment, I need to get out"
Don't you hate it when people keep talking about their kids
Ugh, the rest of us are not interested in your little brat. It's the worst when people want to show you pictures of their kids. So annoying!
Just this morning there was a woman going around with a picture and telling everyone "here's my kid, this is my little boy".
I'm like, listen lady give it up already. He's been missing for six months. You're *not* going to find him.
Q: How are r**... and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store
He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub
The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub when the bully interjects, and attempts to start bullying the kid by pointing out in an annoyed voice: "That definitely looks shorter than six inches!"
The kid was undaunted, however, and propped his arms against the counter and in the sweetest voice, replied, "Dude, you need to stop listening to your girlfriend."
A child gets on a bus
So a child of seven jumps on a bus. The driver, noticing he's alone, tells him to sit in the seat closest to the front.
After the bus has started the kid says: "Hey mister driver?"
Driver:"Yes?"
Child:"Did you know, that if my mummy was a dog, and my daddy was a dog, that I would be a dog?"
The driver chuckles at this cute comment and says:"No, I did not"
After a while the child says again:" Mister driver, did you know that if my mummy was a giraffe, and my daddy was a giraffe, that I would be a giraffe?"
The driver laughs again, with a bit less enthusiasm and says:" No I didn't know that."
The child starts listing almost every animal that driver has heard of, and it starts to annoy him more and more, until finally he yells:"WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER WAS A p**..., AND YOUR FATHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC!!?!"
The kid looks up at the man with a small smile and says:"Well then I'd be a bus driver."
Late For The Gyno
A mother of 3 had an appointment one day at the gynaecologist. She was very late and had to rush to get her kids to school and her youngest was annoyed at not being able to remember where she had left her art project. She rushed the kids to school regardless and then realised when she got home she had no time to take a full shower and freshen up so instead she just used a facecloth very quickly.
She made it to her appointment on time and got undressed, put on the gown and lay up on the bench. The doctor entered the room and took up position at the bottom of the bench.
"Wow, we went all out today, didn't we?" he winked up at the woman. She wasn't sure what he was talking about but thanked him anyway and after the appointment she went on her way to collect her kids from school. As the youngest got into the car she asked "Mommy did you find my glitter project yet? I remember I left it in a facecloth somewhere..."
Little Johnny had a bad day.
He stomped home from school to the family farm. Being an annoying little kid, he saw the farm animals and decided to take out a little frustration on them, so he yelled at the pig, chased the chickens around, and kicked in a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Finally, he made it to the house. His mom was waiting and furious.
"Johnny, I saw you just did and you're in big trouble! For abusing the poor pig and chickens, you don't get sausage or wings tonight. And no pumpkin pie, either!"
Just then, the two of them saw Johnny's dad came back from a day in the fields. He walked to the porch, where the cat is sleeping peacefully in the sun. He irritably kicked the cat out of the way to make it to the door. Johnny turns to his mom with a big grin and says,
"Shall you tell him, or shall I?"
Obama Fans - Little Johnny
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican." The teacher asked him why he was a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican." Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a m**..., and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle at this but the old guy keeps going. "Me and my wingman took care of him right quick, but then two more Fokkers show up..." There's more laughter and the teacher's starting to look annoyed; the pilot doesn't care: "...and it's a real dog-fight, all of us shootin' every which way and we got 'em just about handled when outa nowhere four more Fokkers..."
The class just bursts into laughter and the teacher interrupts. "Now, children. I know you're all enjoying your little jokes, but you should know that many of the German fighter planes were produced by confiscated factories belonging to the Dutch aeronautics firm Fokker."
The pilot is nodding along to all this. "That true, ma'am, but the day I'm talking about, those Fokkers were Messerschmitts."
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.
The professor says I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says I'll be an artist so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says I got a masters degree in art.