The Best 44 Announcement Jokes

Following is our collection of Announcement jokes which are very funny. There are some announcement mic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these announcement notification puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Announcement Jokes and Puns

An Israeli Joke

An El Al plane lands at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv the morning of December 25. As they land, the pilot makes the following announcement: "Please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened while we taxi to the terminal. To those of you seated with your seatbelts securely fastened, Merry Christmas. To those of you in the aisles getting your suitcases from the overhead bins, welcome home."

One day before school..

there was an announcement about the big championship wrestling match after school that involved the schools hottest girl student. After hearing this John asks Bill if he wants to go watch her wrestle. After contemplating for a John replies "I guess, but I'd rather see her box."

Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed...

...because they couldn't read them.

So I was on a plane when the pilot makes his announcement..

"We will be arriving at our destination in 3 hours..." But he forgot to turn off the microphone and says to his co-pilot "Ahhh, I could really do with a BJ and a coffee right now!". So a flight attendant runs to the front of the plane and as she ran past I then said "HEY! Don't forget the coffee!"

Hillary Clinton is running for president.

She just sent the announcement via email.


Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal:

Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee:

"FIFA has an Ethics Committee"

Apple Stock

Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China

a husband is about to die...

he goes out with his friends to give them the bad news. he tells them he has an announcement to make

-" i wanted to thank you guys for being there for me, i want to inform you that i have AIDS and i will die in a week. "

everyone was devastated cried and left with their heart a little broken.

when the man arrived home, he told his wife everything. after finishing she screamed:

-"AIDS! why did you tell them you have AIDS? you have cancer, not aids!"

the man turns to his wife and says.

-"im going to die, but im going to make sure no one goes to bed with you too".

Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon

[hope you can decrypt it]

Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report...

He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?

True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica

Gun loading announcement...

Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.

But I never got the bulletin.

You can explore announcement turbulence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean announcement overbooked dad jokes. There are also announcement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.

"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"

"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

A man comes to the infodesk in a mall

And says: "Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"
"Oh, sure"
The man leans towards the mike: "I'm vegan"

During the security announcement on the plane, they asked us to "place all loose objects in the overhead compartment"

So I picked up my friend and put her in the overhead compartment.

Obama's announcement

Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of "U.S. Government" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government.

Samsung announcement

Galaxy Note 8 batteries will NOT be manufactured in Afghanistan.

Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings?

After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!

Important Announcement to the members of the Flat Earth Society

Annual Global Conference will be held this year 12th of May 2017 in Sydney (down under)

A pilot is making an announcement to his passengers

"We got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you guys will be on TV tonight!"


Mick Jagger's Big Announcement

As Mick and his fellow musicians continue to age, they've decided on a new name for the group:

"The Rolling Kidney Stones"

Announcement: Society of Apathy...

-has just decided to cancel the meeting that was scheduled for last week.

Once all the engineering professors were sitting on one plane...

Before the take off an announcement came over the fanboy.
"This plane is made by your students"
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside, but the principal was sitting.
One professor came and asked "Are you not afraid?"
The principal replied " I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start"

A young woman was so excited to find out she was pregnant, she had to phone all her friends right away and tell them the big news....

It was close to midnight before she finally got around to calling up her very last girlfriend with the big announcement.

"I can't believe I have a person inside me right now!" she said.

"So do I," her friend replied. "Can you call me back in an hour?"

What announcement most people are still expecting to hear from Donald Trump?

"Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Russian Elections

Ministry of Russian election announcement: Elections of Vladimir Putin will commence as planned in 2018.

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

The iPhone 8/10 unveiling was pretty great

But the 9/11 announcement will be pretty awkward and unforgettable next year

The FCC has just made a formal announcement

If anyone keeps complaining about Net Neutrality they'll pay for it.

A joke my grandfather told me as a kid.

After the passengers loaded on, the plane flew out of the airport. As they were getting airborn, an announcement came over the speakers: "Welcome to the first fully-automated flight. There are no pilots operating this plane, it's being operated entirely by a computer. Rest assured that rigorous testing has been run to ensure that the trip will be completely safe. Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong..."

With the recent announcement of microbial life found on Mars...

We're finding out how gullible people can be.

A man walks up to the information desk at a mall and says, I seem to have lost my kids. Can I make an announcement on the PA system?

Mall guy: Oh sure.

Man, grabbing the mike: I'm vegan.

With the new announcement of the space force, Donald Trump decided to call this branch...

Space Patrol Delta! The catch phrase will be, SPD emergency.

The flat earth movement have a proud announcement to make:

We now have followers all around the globe.

The Jackson estate recently made an announcement...

That upon his death, they'd had Michael's body melted down and cast into pieces of LEGO.

So now it's finally safe for the kids to play with Michael.

The captain of a cruise ship tells to the passengers and the crew..

- Dear ones, I have a good and a bad announcement to make.
Which one do you want to hear first?

- "The good one".

- We're going for 14 Oscars!

Tommy Wiseau made a quick announcement today

He said " oh hi March"!

Meanwhile at Walmart....

As I shopped, the following announcement came over the store's PA system...


"If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining... Towels are located in aisle five."

Silly Russian joke

Flight attendant is making an announcement:
*-Is there an anesthesiologist on board?*
Some bloke says:
*-I am anesthesiologist!*
The flight attended tells him to come to seat 12A. He comes to the seat 12A and there is another bloke pouring vodka into plastic cups. He says:
*-Hey, mate. I am a surgeon. Not used to drinking without my anesthesiologist.*

The UK's response to COVID 19 is fairly confused after tonight's announcement.

We don't know our R's from our elbows

(NSFW)ish ...A boy and his mother are standing on a train platform when an announcement on the tannoy plays attention the next train on platform 2 will not be stopping

The boy shuffles closer to the edge and his mother calls out billy stand away from the edge of the platform or the train will suck you off. The boy stops for a second, looks at his mother then back at the tracks. The boy then pelvic thrusts and announces come onnnnn train

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school

One day he surprised his teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting betterΒ grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"

Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they're all too busy for Reddit after today's announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

I was on a plane recently and the flight attendant was doing the safety announcement 'In the event of an emergency please put your head between your knees" and a voice at the back of the plane shouted out..

" If I could do that I wouldn't be flying to Thailand"....

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the announcement announce jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working announcement proclamation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes