The Best 44 Announcement Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Announcement jokes. There are some announcement mic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these announcement notification puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Announcement Jokes and Puns

An Israeli Joke

An El Al plane lands at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv the morning of December 25. As they land, the pilot makes the following announcement: "Please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened while we taxi to the terminal. To those of you seated with your seatbelts securely fastened, Merry Christmas. To those of you in the aisles getting your suitcases from the overhead bins, welcome home."

One day before school..

there was an announcement about the big championship wrestling match after school that involved the schools hottest girl student. After hearing this John asks Bill if he wants to go watch her wrestle. After contemplating for a John replies "I guess, but I'd rather see her box."

Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed...

...because they couldn't read them.

So I was on a plane when the pilot makes his announcement..

"We will be arriving at our destination in 3 hours..." But he forgot to turn off the microphone and says to his co-pilot "Ahhh, I could really do with a BJ and a coffee right now!". So a flight attendant runs to the front of the plane and as she ran past I then said "HEY! Don't forget the coffee!"

jokes about announcement

Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal:

Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee:

"FIFA has an Ethics Committee"


Apple Stock

Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China

a husband is about to die...

he goes out with his friends to give them the bad news. he tells them he has an announcement to make

-" i wanted to thank you guys for being there for me, i want to inform you that i have AIDS and i will die in a week. "

everyone was devastated cried and left with their heart a little broken.

when the man arrived home, he told his wife everything. after finishing she screamed:

-"AIDS! why did you tell them you have AIDS? you have cancer, not aids!"

the man turns to his wife and says.

-"im going to die, but im going to make sure no one goes to bed with you too".

Announcement joke, a husband is about to die...

Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report...

He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?

True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica

Gun loading announcement...

Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.

But I never got the bulletin.

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.

"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"

"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

A man comes to the infodesk in a mall

And says: "Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"
"Oh, sure"
The man leans towards the mike: "I'm vegan"

You can explore announcement turbulence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean announcement overbooked dad jokes. There are also announcement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Obama's announcement

Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of "U.S. Government" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government.

Samsung announcement

Galaxy Note 8 batteries will NOT be manufactured in Afghanistan.

Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings?

After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!

A pilot is making an announcement to his passengers

"We got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you guys will be on TV tonight!"

Once all the engineering professors were sitting on one plane...

Before the take off an announcement came over the fanboy.
"This plane is made by your students"
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside, but the principal was sitting.
One professor came and asked "Are you not afraid?"
The principal replied " I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start"

Announcement joke, Once all the engineering professors were sitting on one plane...

A young woman was so excited to find out she was pregnant, she had to phone all her friends right away and tell them the big news....

It was close to midnight before she finally got around to calling up her very last girlfriend with the big announcement.

"I can't believe I have a person inside me right now!" she said.

"So do I," her friend replied. "Can you call me back in an hour?"

What announcement most people are still expecting to hear from Donald Trump?

"Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Russian Elections

Ministry of Russian election announcement: Elections of Vladimir Putin will commence as planned in 2018.


Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

The iPhone 8/10 unveiling was pretty great

But the 9/11 announcement will be pretty awkward and unforgettable next year

The FCC has just made a formal announcement

If anyone keeps complaining about Net Neutrality they'll pay for it.

A joke my grandfather told me as a kid.

After the passengers loaded on, the plane flew out of the airport. As they were getting airborn, an announcement came over the speakers: "Welcome to the first fully-automated flight. There are no pilots operating this plane, it's being operated entirely by a computer. Rest assured that rigorous testing has been run to ensure that the trip will be completely safe. Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong..."

With the recent announcement of microbial life found on Mars...

We're finding out how gullible people can be.

A man walks up to the information desk at a mall and says, I seem to have lost my kids. Can I make an announcement on the PA system?

Mall guy: Oh sure.

Man, grabbing the mike: I'm vegan.

The flat earth movement have a proud announcement to make:

We now have followers all around the globe.

Announcement joke, The flat earth movement have a proud announcement to make:

The Jackson estate recently made an announcement...

That upon his death, they'd had Michael's body melted down and cast into pieces of LEGO.

So now it's finally safe for the kids to play with Michael.

The captain of a cruise ship tells to the passengers and the crew..

- Dear ones, I have a good and a bad announcement to make.
Which one do you want to hear first?

- "The good one".

- We're going for 14 Oscars!

Tommy Wiseau made a quick announcement today

He said " oh hi March"!


Meanwhile at Walmart....

As I shopped, the following announcement came over the store's PA system...


"If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining... Towels are located in aisle five."

Silly Russian joke

Flight attendant is making an announcement:
*-Is there an anesthesiologist on board?*
Some bloke says:
*-I am anesthesiologist!*
The flight attended tells him to come to seat 12A. He comes to the seat 12A and there is another bloke pouring vodka into plastic cups. He says:
*-Hey, mate. I am a surgeon. Not used to drinking without my anesthesiologist.*

The UK's response to COVID 19 is fairly confused after tonight's announcement.

We don't know our R's from our elbows

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school

One day he surprised his teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting betterΒ grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"


Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they're all too busy for Reddit after today's announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

I was on a plane recently and the flight attendant was doing the safety announcement 'In the event of an emergency please put your head between your knees" and a voice at the back of the plane shouted out..

" If I could do that I wouldn't be flying to Thailand"....

I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my house saying, "If you invest $100 just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".

I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.

On the way to a teacher convention the pilot makes an announcement, before taking off I should tell you that the plane has been made by your students

All the teachers throw themselves out the door as quick as possible except one, the pilot puzzled comes closer and asks him:

- do you trust that much your students?

- Of course, the teacher answers with a peaceful voice, I'm pretty sure the plane won't even start.

There was a blonde ....

There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.

A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.

He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."

Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"

I'm not wearing underwear.

It's a brief announcement.

Local Police Announcement "Serial killer wanted!"

I called immediately, but to my disappointment, it wasn't a job offering.

*Important* Public Announcement Service To Everyone

If anyone gets a private message from me about canned meat, don't open it.


It's SPAM.

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...

"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".

Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the announcement announce jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working announcement proclamation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes