anne Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious anne stories

What are the best Anne puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Anne? Well here is a complete list of Anne to have fun with:

I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding

I've been to Amsterdam... There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

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[NSFW] Anne recently noticed she had hair growing between her legs...

Frantic, she asks her mom what's going on.

Her mother replies, "Don't worry sweetie, the part where the hair grows is called the Monkey. Be proud that your Monkey is growing hair."

The girl sighs in relief, and later at the dinner table she smiled and told her older sister Beth, "I've got hair growing on my Monkey."

The sister laughs and replies back, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."

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Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of.

Two years rent free.

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I feel sorry for Anne Frank...

First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

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What's brown and runs in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

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What's brown and hides in the attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank

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What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

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A coachload of nuns is driving along...

When suddenly there's a huge crash and there are no survivors. All the nuns ascend to Heaven, where they are told by St. Peter to stand in a line to go through.
"Hello ladies, I'm sorry but before you go through there's a slight formality. Sister Anne, please come forward. Have you ever touched a penis?"
"I think I touched one once."
Ok he says, place your finger in the holy water. She does this and gets into heaven.
"Sister June, have you ever touched a penis?"
"I held one in my hand for a while."
Places hand in the water and she gets past the gate.

All of a sudden there is a huge commosion at the back of the queue as a huge nun runs forward, barreling all the rest out the way.
"If you think I'm gargling that after Sister Mary's had her arse in it you can guess again!"

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What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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There was a pub quiz last week

And there was a round on Literature. The question was "Name the book where the characters all lived behind a wardrobe". Imagine the disgust when I shouted "The diary of Anne Frank"!

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Where do otters come from?

Otter space.

[credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]

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What's the most useless thing ever?

Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Anne Frank's famous last words.

Brb, door

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Holocaust humor...

...I really do not find it very funny, Anne Frankly you shouldn't either!

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Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

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What are nazi's least favorite kind of hotdog?

Anne Franks

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My new favorite drink is called

The Daiquiri of Anne Frank.

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Thtephanie, I thwear to god...

Anne alwayth Hathaway.

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How did Anne Frank's parents punish her?

They stuck a plunger in the toilet.


Why didn't Anne Frank have any kids?

The plunger went all the way through.


...she fainted.

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New Girlfriend (8)

(*pensively*):
Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Carrie Anne, because I just added the song "Carrie Anne" to my favourites playlist.
(*lightheartedly*):
I mean, I don't even particularly like that song.

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Day 3 in the big brother house...

and Anne Frank is still the shower.

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What's brown and hides in the attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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Cum on guys, gay jokes aren't funny.

Cum on guys, gay jokes aren't funny. Niether are 9/11 jokes, they're plane stupid. Also jokes about the holocaust, Anne frankly I'm tired of it. "I did nazi that coming." And what about cripple jokes? I can't stand them!
Don't forget women jokes! They're stupid.....period.

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I'm tired of all these holocaust jokes...

Anne Frankly I won't stand for them.

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Anne Hathaway with words

she really is quite eloquent. Alas I was born with a lisp.

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Why do unshaven girls named Anne prefer to drink Budweiser?

Because it's produced by Anne Has A Bush.

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I don't see why the Diary of Anne Frank is so popular.

It's about a girl that's pretty dramatic and gets carried away.

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Anne Frank

Just the other day I saw Anne Frank...
Dat ash

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You shouldn't tell holocaust jokes, they're mean.

Anne frankly I don't like them

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Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car crash and all die tragically.

In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"

The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.

"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"

She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and she enters.

Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"

"Eve!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.

St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"

Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

*Gong!*

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The Holocaust?

The jews did nazi it coming, Anne Frankly it hit them like a speeding train on its way to auschwitz.

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Anne Frank may have been....

the only person to go to Amsterdam NOT to get baked.

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I just don't understand how to properly put together a play on words

I think I'm just going to throw away my script for *The Dictionary in the Attic: An Anne Frank story*

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Went to the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam, was disappointed -

I thought it would be bigger, considering what a celebrity she was-

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Justin Bieber claimed in an interview that he thought Anne Frank would have been a 'Belieber'.

I doubt it. She knew when it was appropriate to shut the fuck up.

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Did you hear about Anne Frank's time at summer camp?

She got so baked.

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Did you hear about Anne Frank's time in summer camp?

She got so baked.

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Anne Frank's house

Anne Frank's house is clearly marked in every tourist map of Amsterdam. No wonder the Nazis eventually found her.



...Too soon?

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Guys, I'm tired of all the jewish jokes.....

Anne frankly I can't stand them.

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Pat Robertson meets a Boy with a box full of kittens.

Pat Robertson's walking down the sidewalk. This kid is there with a box full of kittens, Pat says, "Those are just some of the prettiest kittens I've ever seen". The boy says, "Yeah, They're Christian kittens". Pat says, "adorable". A few days later he and Anne Coulter were on the same sidewalk, and the kid's still there. Pat says, "Hey Anne, go over and ask him about those kittens". Anne walks over and she says, "those are some cute kittens". And the kid says, "Yeah, they're atheist kittens". Pat says, "wait a minute, last week you told me they were Christian Kittens". The boy answered, "Yeah, but now their eyes are open".

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A man in a small town goes to confessional...

and tells the local priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have slept with a loose woman."

The priest thinks for a moment and says, "Well, son, was it Mary?"

"No Father."

"Hmm," the priest continues, "was it Fiona?"

"No, no father," the man replies.

"And was it Anne?"

"No, father."

After a pause, the priest says, "Give me one our fathers and two hail marys, and all will be forgiven."

The man exits the confessional and slides in next to his friend on a pew.

"So," the friend asks, "what'd the father give you?"

"Well, I got one our fathers, two hail marys, and three good leads."


**source**: Prairie Home Companion

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What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head?

Duck!

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How do you punish Anne Frank?

Nvm

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Almost every Hollywood film re-makes or sequels recently includes The Rock,

so that's why I'm having a Kickstarter fund to start filming:

*The Diary of Anne Frank 2: Attic Renegades*

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best anne jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty anne gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these anne jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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