Anne Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Anne puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Anne

I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding

I've been to Amsterdam... There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

[NSFW] Anne recently noticed she had hair growing between her legs...

Frantic, she asks her mom what's going on.

Her mother replies, "Don't worry sweetie, the part where the hair grows is called the Monkey. Be proud that your Monkey is growing hair."

The girl sighs in relief, and later at the dinner table she smiled and told her older sister Beth, "I've got hair growing on my Monkey."

The sister laughs and replies back, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."

When Anne has a will...

Anne Hathaway

Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone.

It could have been a real game changer.

Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of.

Two years rent free.


I feel bad for Anne Frank

She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!

And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car crash and all die tragically.

In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"

The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.

"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"

She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and she enters.

Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"

"Eve!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.

St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"

Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

*Gong!*

A man in a small town goes to confessional...

and tells the local priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have slept with a loose woman."

The priest thinks for a moment and says, "Well, son, was it Mary?"

"No Father."

"Hmm," the priest continues, "was it Fiona?"

"No, no father," the man replies.

"And was it Anne?"

"No, father."

After a pause, the priest says, "Give me one our fathers and two hail marys, and all will be forgiven."

The man exits the confessional and slides in next to his friend on a pew.

"So," the friend asks, "what'd the father give you?"

"Well, I got one our fathers, two hail marys, and three good leads."


**source**: Prairie Home Companion

I feel sorry for Anne Frank...

First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

Holocaust jokes arent funny

anne frankly, I think they're tasteless.

You're as useless as...

Anne Frank's drumset


Baby Skunk.

Dave and his wife, Anne, were driving home one very cold night in Wisconsin, when Anne yells at him to stop the car. Anne jumps out and picks up a little bundle that was laying in the road. She brings it back to the car and it turns out it was a baby skunk. It was barely alive, but very cold.

Anne says, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

Dave says, "Okay, get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to keep it warm?

"Put it between your legs. It ought to be nice and warm there."

Anne says, "But what about the smell?"

"Just hold his little nose."

The actress who played the lead role in the local theatre production of Anne Frank's Diary was so bad

That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".

Why did Germany almost go bankrupt?

Because the Holo-cost a lot of money. Anne Frankly, it wasn't worth it.

Grammar Nazis really make me fuhrious.

I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone.

Anne Frankly, it was just bad.

What's brown and runs in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

Meanwhile at a catholic church...

We pray you Saint Anne...

The devil appears: Oh, it's you guys again. For Pete's sake stop calling me if you don't mean it and at least pronounce my name right.

(Made this up myself, still giggling...)

Holocaust jokes are...

out of Mein Kamf-ort zone, Anne Frank-ly I find them offensive.

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in

(Anne Boyeyn)

I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)


Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

What was the last cooking implement used by Anne Frank?

A Dutch Oven

What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog?

Anne Frank's

Guys.. Seriously Jew jokes aren't funny.

Anne Frankly They're childish and offensive

I want to start a kosher hotdog company

And call it Anne Franks...

A mugger held a couple.

While pointing a gun and taking their valuables, he asked the them:

Mugger: What's your name?
Woman: My name is Donna.
Mugger: You have a name like my mother. I will not kill you then. And you? (Asking the other)
Man: My name is Dave, but my friends call me Anne.

What smelled so bad it almost cost a young girl her life?

Anne Frank's diarrhea.

Amsterdam, 26 October1942, about tea time.

Mr Frank - "Shhhh Quiet everybody ... the Germans are coming".

Anne Frank - "I am too"

An elderly prospector was mining for gold with his daughter, Anne.

He chipped away and mined the ore while she maintained the camp and washed and organized anything he found.

They had a system where any time she found something special, she would light a special red lantern to let him know.

She wasn't very good at identifying gold though, and often misinterpreted the shine from mica or quartz as the gleam of a gold nugget.

After the third time in a day that she lit up the red lantern to falsely notify him of a newly found nugget, he grew angry and yelled at her.

"God dammit! They're rocks, Anne. You don't have to put on the red light!"

After summer vacation classic

All the children inn school were asked to write on the chalkboard something significant that happened over the summer.
Anne gets up and writes the word puppies on the board, and says our dog had puppies this summer. Very nice says the teacher. George gets up and writes promotion on the board, acc says my dad got a promotion. Excellent! Very significant goes the teacher. Little Johnny gets up and puts a dot on the board. The treachery looks at out and says Johnny what's that dot why is it significant? He good it's not a dot, it's a period, I'm not sure why it's significant but my sister missed hers and my dad shot our neighbor and went to jail!

So I heard they're demolishing Hitlers house

Anne Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't do it already. I hope they step on the gas and burn the place down.

What did the biologist name his daughter?

Anne Atomy

Did you hear about the chain of German restaurants opening up this year?

They're going to be serving Sausages, Brats, Anne Franks.

Who's the best hide and go seek player

Anne Frank

A catholic priest was praying Saint Anne.

The devil appears: Whazzzzup homie, why you pronounce my name so funny?

What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

A catholic priest is praying

...I pray you Saint Anne...

Suddenly the devil appears: Oh, it's you again. For Pete's sake stop calling me if you don't mean it and at least pronounce my name right.

The priest shouts: Go away satan.

St. Anne appears: You want me to leave you? Gees, at least you could pronounce my name right.

The priest takes a piece of paper and writes using the sacramental wine:

I command you Satan, leave my church.

Dyslexic Santa appears:

Stop wasting the good wine! And what the heck you have against me?

(I modified the joke I wrote here earlier, I hope you like it)

My buddy Frank is a HUGE fan of diarrhea. I was thinking of writing a book about him, but it looks like the title is already taken.

"The Diary of Anne Frank"

There was a pub quiz last week

And there was a round on Literature. The question was "Name the book where the characters all lived behind a wardrobe". Imagine the disgust when I shouted "The diary of Anne Frank"!

Who was the famous writer, that died in WWII?

I don't know Anne Frankly I don't care.

What's Jewish and runs?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

On the immigration debate, Donald Trump said of other countries: "They're not sending us their best people."

On a side note, Mary Anne MacLeod illegally migrated to the US in 1929. A few years later she gave birth to Donald Trump.

So he may have a point.

Many people ask, Was Anne Frank gay?

Yeah, she was in the closet.

You're about as useful as...

Anne Frank's drum set.

Where do otters come from?

Otter space.

[credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]

What's the most useless thing ever?

Anne Frank's drum kit.

Anne Frank's famous last words.

Brb, door

A recently discovered European WWII era manuscript tells the story of a young Jewish girl who often had liquidy bowel movements.

It's called *"The Diarrhea of Anne Frank."*

How does a pedophile travel into town?

In his little niece Anne.

I'm sick and tired of hearing Jew jokes!

Anne Frankly, none of them are even that good.

What do you call a women that works in telecommunications?

Anne Tenna

Holocaust humor...

...I really do not find it very funny, Anne Frankly you shouldn't either!

It's not the gift, but the thought that counts

So how does getting Anne Frank a drum set for her birthday stack up?

You're about as useful as...

Anne Frank's drumkit

You will never guess what I found in my attic bathroom...

The diarrhea of Anne Frank

Which book has the worst cliffhanger?

Anne Frank's Diary

I don't like holocaust jokes

They're usually unoriginal, Anne Frankly, I don't find them funny.

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

"Anne hath a way."

What's the difference between being gay and being Anne Frank?

One comes out of the closet, the other comes out of the chimney

You know what? Jokes about Jews aren't funny.

Anne Frankly, I won't stand for them.

My new favorite drink is called

The Daiquiri of Anne Frank.

I found an old game.

Anne Frank simulator, looked okayish (as good as an attic can look) and had decent sound. Although the game has a big bug. During the tutorial everytime I jump I get shot.

How did Anne Frank's parents punish her?

They stuck a plunger in the toilet.


Why didn't Anne Frank have any kids?

The plunger went all the way through.


...she fainted.

Why did Anne Frank only write one book?

She had concentration problems

Have you heard about the new film from the lead actress in "The Devil Wears Prada", about assuring people with lisps that they're perfectly normal?

Anne Hathaway with wordths

Henry Tudor just tweeted....

....that the beheading of Anne Boleyn was an interrogation gone wrong.

What was Anne Frank's least favorite letter?

Not Z!

who is.the master of hide and seek?

Anne frank

Why Anne Frank didn't finish her diary

\*\*Concentration problems\*\*

What are nazi's least favorite kind of hotdog?

Anne Franks

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes