Ankle Jokes

Following is our collection of forearm humor and trousers one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Ankle puns for adults, dirty arm jokes or clean wrist gags for kids.

There is an abundance of kneecap jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 36 funniest jokes on ankle. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any breaker witze you can hear about ankle.

The Best jokes about Ankle

I don't always roll a joint...

...but when I do, it's an ankle.

Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.

Women, do you want longer lashes?

All you have to do is show an ankle in Saudi Arabia

I don't regularly roll a joint, but when I do...

it's usually my ankle.

My niece calls me ankle...

I call here knees

We are a joint family!


A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....

The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"

Red head goes to doctors office..

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...

When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.

Apparently she stood him up.

This girl once told me she wanted me to do it doggy style.

So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle

A man visits his doctor, complaining of hearing voices in his leg.

The doctor asks if the man has seen his psychiatrist, but the man insisted, "You are the family doctor, you are the only one that I trust with this."

The doctor uses his stethoscope on his patient's knee. He hears "Hey, hey doc, can you lend me 5 dollars?"

The doctor is alarmed, but continues to check. He next listens to the ankle and hears, "Doctor, do you think you could spare me 10 dollars? I'm good for it!"

Finally, the doctor listens to the patient's shin and hears, "You look like the reliable type, do you think you could spot me 20 dollars?"

The doctor sighs, and tells his patient the bad news. "Well, it seems your leg is broke in three places."

Ouch!

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhea...d took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


I just rolled a joint...

Now my ankle hurts

A brunette and the Doctor....

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Hear about the guy whose brother cut off his leg below the ankle?

Treachery was a foot.

Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.

There will now be a new Star Wars cast.

A woman and her finger

A woman runs into a doctor's office and says DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!

The doctor replied, Show me.

So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.

She was about to continue when the doctor said, That's enough, let me think this over. He thought for about a minute and said I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.

Stephen Hawkins goes on a date....

he comes back a couple of hours later with broken glasses, grazed knees, twisted ankle.

She'd stood him up.

A husband tells his wife about the car crash he got into...

Husband: Hey, I got in a car crash today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now.

Wife: Who's Lucy?

I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies...

It's a "below knee sandwich"


I rolled a joint

It was my ankle.

Brunette goes to the doctor

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

After a year long struggle, my diabetic uncle just had both legs amputated below the ankle....

I guess you could say he was de-feeted.

A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop..

He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory.
She says; "Crushed nuts?"
He says; "No, a sprained ankle"

This guy comes in on Crutches to his Doctor.

This guy comes in on Crutches to his Doctor. The Doctor says, what's going on? The guy says, My leg really hurts. It's making funny noises too. He said Doc, Put your head down by my hip, and listen. The Doc hears "Got 5 bucks you can give me?" The Doctor said strange. Then the guy says, Listen to my knee "Anything Helps" is what he heard there. Then the guy said, One more place, Right above my ankle. Listen to that. "I'm really down and out right now"

The guy says, Doc can you help me? The Doctor said, I'm not sure about the voices, but your Leg is Broke in three places.

Just read a book about our ankle

Was a painful experience as it had a lot of unexpected twists.

Trump asks a man to give an example of a tragedy

The man: Well, my cousin passed away, that was a tragedy.

Trump: No believe me that was a loss, not a tragedy.

The man: Okay well my sister tripped and sprained her ankle, that was a tragedy.

Trump: Hmm, no that was an accident.

For the third time, the man says: Okay let's say you were flying in a plane and it was shot down, that would be a tragedy.

Trump: Good! Now why is that a tragedy? .

Well, Mr. Trump, it was certainly no loss and I am sure it was not an accident!

This comes from my 5 yr old neighbor's ankle bitter: What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener. Get it? A can't open her. LoL!

I rolled a joint for the first time today...

I put an ice pack on my ankle straight away

Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to "teach them how to shave" but it's easy...

You start at the ankle and work your way up!

A man goes to pick up his newly born son.

So the new father goes to the hospital and says to the doctor, "hi I'm here to pick up my newly born son."
The doctor says, "sure! Come right this way!"
The doctor goes across the room, picks up the baby, turns and drops the baby.
The father says, "what the--!"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, im sorry!" Picks up the baby, brushes it off and walks closer to the new father.
Then, the doctor drops the baby again. But this time, giving it a little kick on the way down.
The father says, "hey! What's the deal?"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry I'm sorry!" He picks up the baby, brushes it off and walks closer to the new father.
This time, the doctor takes the baby by the ankle, waves it over his head and throws the baby at a wall. Both watching, the baby slides slowly down the wall. The father says, "my goodness! What on earth is wrong with you?! You're going to hurt my newborn!"
The doctor says, "hahaha, don't worry! Your baby was already dead yesterday!"

Achilles had an affinity for large breed dogs

Mostly because he couldn't stand ankle bitters.

How does the beer brewer get around with a broken ankle?

He hops.

I was playing in the park the other day...

I was having so much fun until someone phoned the police on me. I thought I'd be okay, I had my ankle bracelet on and everything...

What do you call a closeted gay Egyptian King ankle deep in water?

In da' Nile.

Oscar Pistorius jailed for 5 years after authorities failed to find a good way of putting an electronic tag around his ankle.

My girlfriend was dropping all these hints about tying the knot or taking the plunge...

so I tied a rock around her ankle and pushed her off the pier. She hasn't called since...

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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