Silly & Ridiculous Ankle Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
Stephen Hawkins goes on a date....
he comes back a couple of hours later with broken glasses, grazed knees, twisted ankle.
She'd stood him up.
Oscar Pistorius jailed for 5 years after authorities failed to find a good way of putting an electronic tag around his ankle.
Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she stood him up.
I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies...
It's a "below knee sandwich"
My girlfriend was dropping all these hints about tying the knot or taking the plunge...
so I tied a rock around her ankle and pushed her off the pier. She hasn't called since...
Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.
There will now be a new Star Wars cast.
A husband tells his wife about the car c**... he got into...
Husband: Hey, I got in a car c**... today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now.
Wife: Who's Lucy?
How does the beer brewer get around with a broken ankle?
He hops.
I rolled my first joint today...
I applied an ice pack to my ankle immediately
I rolled a joint for the first time today...
I put an ice pack on my ankle straight away
I just rolled a joint...
Now my ankle hurts
You can explore ankle tendons reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ankle joints dad jokes. There are also ankle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
Hear about the guy whose brother cut off his leg below the ankle?
Treachery was a foot.
Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to "teach them how to shave" but it's easy...
You start at the ankle and work your way up!
A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop..
He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory.
She says; "Crushed nuts?"
He says; "No, a sprained ankle"
I don't always roll a joint...
...but when I do, it's an ankle.
My niece calls me ankle...
I call here knees
We are a joint family!
What do you call a LOTR fan wih a sprained ankle?
A hobblit.
I don't regularly roll a joint, but when I do...
it's usually my ankle.
After a year long struggle, my diabetic uncle just had both legs amputated below the ankle....
I guess you could say he was de-feeted.
Just read a book about our ankle
Was a painful experience as it had a lot of unexpected twists.
Women, do you want longer lashes?
All you have to do is show an ankle in Saudi Arabia
What did the Chinese chef say when he sprained his ankle?
Oh man, it hurts to wok!
This girl once told me she wanted me to do it d**....
So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle
Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...
When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.
Apparently she stood him up.
I was playing in the park the other day...
I was having so much fun until someone phoned the police on me. I thought I'd be okay, I had my ankle bracelet on and everything...
A brunette and the Doctor....
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
I rolled a joint
It was my ankle.
What do you call a closeted gay Egyptian King ankle deep in water?
In da' Nile.
Achilles had an affinity for large breed dogs
Mostly because he couldn't stand ankle bitters.
This comes from my 5 yr old neighbor's ankle bitter: What do you call a broken can opener?
A can't opener. Get it? A can't open her. LoL!
Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn...
Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn when it catches on fire. The only way down is to jump into the manure pile.
The first idiot says, I'll jump first and tell you how deep it is. He jumps, and a few seconds later the second idiot hears, it's only ankle deep!
The second idiot jumps and says, What on earth? I'm up to my neck!
And the first idiot says, Well you jumped feet first.
I rolled my first joint last night!
Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
Brunette?
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes...
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you"...?
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde"...
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken"...
Two old hippies meet a nun at a bus stop…
She's on crutches and seems to be having a hard time.
One hippie asks her, hey sister, like, what happened to your leg?
Oh my son, I slipped in the shower and broke my ankle replied the nun.
Oh said the hippie as he turned to his friend to ask quietly, hey man, what's a shower?
Don't ask me man, I'm not Christian!
Rolled a joint* today and hadda drag...*
*my ankle
*...my a**... to the ER.
I've just been on Trip Advisor
Absolutely no help about a twisted ankle and a grazed knee
I'm going to name my ankles "Swishers"
Because those joints are always getting rolled.
*I struggled a lot with the wording, I'd be happy to take suggestions on how to make it hit better*
I don't always roll a joint . . .
But when I do, it's usually my ankle.
After Sherlock Holmes received an amputation below the ankle, why did he call his new prosthetic "The Game?"
Because, my dear Watson, The Game is a foot
TIL About the ancient Greek hero Boephades
Like Achilles, he was invulnerable except for one part of his body. Except instead of his ankle, it was his groin.
You've heard of Achilles heel, but did you know about
Boephades nuts?
An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.
The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"
"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."
"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.
"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"
