Animal Shelter Jokes
27 animal shelter jokes and hilarious animal shelter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about animal shelter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Animal Shelter Short Jokes
Short animal shelter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The animal shelter humour may include short shelter jokes also.
- I phoned the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase." - Why couldn't moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet.
- I got fired from my job for chasing away a stray cat. Whatever, I never really liked working at the animal shelter anyway.
- I wrote a very generous check as a donation to a local animal shelter.. I heard dogs love things that bounce.
- Where does the phrase, "It's raining cats and dogs" come from? A tornado and an animal shelter
- I just realized I've been missing all the front page posts about animal shelters. It must be this paw pup blocker I've installed
- What did Juaquin Malphurs do when he volunteered at a local animal shelter? Waka Flocka Dogs
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Animal Shelter One Liners
Which animal shelter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with animal shelter? I can suggest the ones about homeless shelter and dog adoption.
- What happens when lightning strikes an animal shelter? Shock and Awwwww
- What do the beach boys and animal shelters have in common? Pet sounds
- Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!
- What does an animal shelter and the Soviet Space Program have in common? Red rockets.
- There was this story on overcrowded animal shelters… I just couldn't put it down.
- this asian is Hannibal Lecter At the animal shelter
- How much does an animal shelter weigh? A pound
Gather Around for Fun Animal Shelter Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about animal shelter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make animal shelter pranks.
A British girl meets a guy...
And they hit it off immediately. The girl goes to her dad the next day to tell him about it.
"Oh, dad, he's just the sweetest! He loves dancing and photography, he's great with kids, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. He's funny, handsome, a great listener, oh! and he's a goalie for a local football team. Oh dad, what do you think?"
Her dad looked at her with an odd expression and said "Oh honey...
... *he's a keeper*"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wizard materialized on the hill above the outdoor festival and proclaimed, All shall be vanquished.... except those in temporary shelters supported by a pole, and fully aquatic animals with s**...-shaped teeth!
The area was safe for all in tents and porpoises.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend used to work for an animal shelter, but he got fired.
He really s**... the pooch.
I went to the cardiologist yesterday
He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".
So an elf walks into an animal shelter...
...and, being from the North Pole, he wants a hound dog to run a transport system. This particular shelter stocks only mutts.
On the first day, the elf says, "What type of dog is that one there?" he asks, pointing to a cage. "That's a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle," responds the clerk. The elf shakes his head, and moves on to the next cage.
"What type is this one?" he asks. "A German Shepherd and Beagle cross," replies the clerk. Again, the elf shakes his head, and walks to the third and final cage.
"What type is this one?" he asks again. "That's a Pointer and Irish Setter cross," says the clerk. The elf nods his head vigorously, and adopts the animal immediately.
Mystified, the clerk's assistant asks, "Why did he chose that one?" the clerk laughs, and replies, "It was a Point-Setter."
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city.
Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.
After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn.
Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse.
The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.
There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.
The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief.
A short time later, another knock was heard at the door.
The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death.
The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.
This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door.
When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.