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Animal Lover Jokes

15 animal lover jokes and hilarious animal lover puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about animal lover that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Animal Lover Short Jokes

Short animal lover jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The animal lover humour may include short dog lover jokes also.

  1. I am an animal lover and activist. I actively put animals on my plate and I love to eat them.
  2. I love working with animals he says to his date. She replies, wow I love a guy who is an animal lover! Where do you work?
    He replies, i am a butcher.
  3. PETA sponsored a new hot spot to get money from partying rich and famous animal lovers. It closed after one week. Apparently "Club Baby Seals" wasn't a good name for it.
  4. A kid doctor is called a pediatrician, and an animal lover is a z**..., what do you call someone who loves kids. A Priest

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Animal Lover One Liners

Which animal lover one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with animal lover? I can suggest the ones about animal shelter and cat owner.

  1. What did the animal lover get put on their body? A cattoo
  2. What's an i**... lover's favorite animal? Aunt-eater.

Animal Lover Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about animal lover you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean animal rights jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make animal lover pranks.

For all the animal lovers out there

A teacher is in front of the class teaching word problems. She asks little Susie,
Teacher: If you had 5 pets and someone wanted 3 of them, how many would you have?
Susie: 5, I'm not going to give them away.
Teacher: Alright, if you had 5 pets and someone forcibly took 3 of them, how many would you have?
Susie: 5...and a dead body.

The new king was an animal lover

The new king was an animal lover. So much so that he issued an edict that there would be no hunting of any animals while he was king. People had mixed feelings, but the king was so good to them that they obeyed his command. That is, until the kingdom was overrun with animals of all types...
The people gathered and talked and decided this couldn't go on. The king wouldn't change his mind, so the people chose to overthrown the king....
It was the only time in history that the reign was called on account of the game....

An animal lover talks to a turk

He asks the turk:"May I talk to your horse?"
"Horse not talk", he replies.
The animal lover asks the horse : "Hello horse how are you doing do you have enough food?"
"I'm doing fine and there is more than enough food too."
The animal lover asks the turk : "May I talk to your dog?"
"Dog not talk", he replies.
The animal lover now next to the dog asks him: "Hello Dog are you alright?'
"I can't complain, I have a warm place to sleep" he replies
The animal lover asks the turk : "May I talk to your goat?"
The turk slowly realising the ability the animal lover has answers:"Goat lies"

D&D Jokes

Some jokes I've picked up for my Jester character:
* A human, a half orc, and an elf walk into a bar. The dwarf walks under it.
* Two gnolls are sitting in the woods eating lunch. One says "Man, i hate my wife" and the other one says "Then just eat the salad".
* What do you call a ranger without an animal companion? A v**....

* What do you call 1 gnome at the bottom of the ocean? a problem
What do you call 10 gnomes at the bottom of the ocean? a problem
What do you call 1000 gnomes at the bottom of the ocean? a problem
What do you call EVERY SINGLE GNOME IN THE UNIVERSE at the bottom of the ocean? problem solved.
* What did the courier say when asked what his favorite armor type is? "I'm a mail man"
* How many Paladins does it take to light a candle? Two, one to light the wick, and another to "uphold the light".
* Why are monks the best lovers? Flurry of Blows.

The doctor and the bunny (clean)

A doctor is driving home one dark and stormy night. A few yards ahead, a rabbit bolts out from the forest. Try as he may, the doctor couldn't stop in time and he struck the rabbit.
An animal lover, the good doctor leapt from the car to see if he could help the little guy. But the rabbit was not responsive. He ran back to the car to get his medical bag, but then realized that he was driving his wife's car, and so his bag would not be there. He reached into the glove box and pulled out what he thought was a bottle of water.
Returning to the bunny, he carefully lifted its little head and helped it sip from the bottle. To his amazement, the bunny sprang back to life. The bunny gave him a big wave and then hopped off. It stopped a few feet away and then waved again. Bounding up the hill, once again the little bunny waved. Astonished by the remarkable recovery, the doctor looked at bottle in his hand and read the label out loud, Hair restorer with permanent wave.

As told by the 80-something year-old man at golf league.

My wife and I were driving home from dinner one night when I hit a small animal. "Pull over and see if it's all right." my wife insisted. Turns out that I had hit a baby skunk. My wife, an animal lover, picked up the hurt baby skunk and told me to drive to the animal hospital. As we were driving, she noticed the baby skunk was cold and shaking.
"What should I do?" she asked.
"Put the baby skunk between your legs, it's warm there.", I told her.
"But what about the smell?" she asked.
"Oh don't worry, he'll get used to it."

So a women is driving on a road at night......

when suddenly a rabbit(hare) jumps out in front of her car and gets hit. Now the women was quite an animal lover so she pulls over and goes back to see if the rabbit was okay. At the same time a man who had seen her at the side of the road pulls over as well and asks her what was wrong. the women explained how she had hit and killed a rabbit and felt absolutely terrible. The man was sympathetic so he went back to his car and got a bottle from his trunk and poured the contents over the rabbit. The rabbit immediately jumps up and starts hopping away. But after 5 steps he turned around and waved, he hopped a few more steps then turned around and waved. The rabbit kept on doing this until he hopped out of sight. The women turns around to the man and asks, "What was the stuff you poured over the rabbit?" The man looks down and reads the bottle, "Hair spray: revives dead hair and gives permanent wave."