The Best 24 Animal Kid Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Animal Kid jokes. There are some animal kid leopard jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these animal kid cat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Animal Kid Jokes and Puns

I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment

So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead

A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move

"This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."

I was amazed

As I get older, I never stop learning new things every day. I'm a new dad and the other day I was changing my baby when all of a sudden my kid rolls off of the changing table. As if animal instincts kicked into me in that split moment, or super powers of sorts, I swoop down with lightning speed and catch him INCHES off of the ground! Still to this day I'm amazed; I had no idea babies could bounce that high off of marbled flooring.

When I was 6 years old my priest took me aside and gave me a lesson about the birds and the bees.

He did this to many other kids. It went on for about 2 years. Until he left the church to pursue his career in zoology. He just loved teaching kids about animals. What a great man.

I lost my kid at the zoo the other day....

I couldn't find him, so they just shot all the animals.


What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:

"HI GARY!!"

How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?

A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Knock knock Who's there?

Not Mary

A British girl meets a guy...

And they hit it off immediately. The girl goes to her dad the next day to tell him about it.

"Oh, dad, he's just the sweetest! He loves dancing and photography, he's great with kids, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. He's funny, handsome, a great listener, oh! and he's a goalie for a local football team. Oh dad, what do you think?"

Her dad looked at her with an odd expression and said "Oh honey...

... *he's a keeper*"

When I was a kid I pretended I was doing surgery on a stuffed animal inside a blanket fort

I guess you could say they were undercover operations

Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a sex-ed video?

Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up.

You can explore animal kid weasels reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean animal kid civets dad jokes. There are also animal kid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Teamster jokes

Why is there a horse on the Teamster logo?
It's the only animal that sleeps standing up.

What do Teamster's kide do at the playground do?
Sit on folding chairs and watch other kids play.

What do you call a Teamster in a 3 piece suit?
Defendant

Two teamsters are standing around. Suddenly on of them crushes a snail under is his boot.

The other one asks "why did you do that"?

"that son of a bitch has been following me around all day"

An elementary teacher is talking about animals to her students...

Teacher: What does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good. What does the pig give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Great! What does the cow give you?
Kids: Homework!

That's nothing

A father, mother and a small kid go to see a circus. There, among many animals the kid sees the elephant and its long thing hanging between his legs. The kid asks dad "What's that". Ashamed to answer, father says "Ask mother".
The kid asks mom, and she too is ashamed and says, "Oh, that's nothing". The kid goes back to father, and father asks, "What did mom say". Kid says she told "That's nothing".

Father replies sighing, "Yeah for your mother even that's nothing".

A kid doctor is called a pediatrician, and an animal lover is a zoophile, what do you call someone who loves kids.

A Priest

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah,

I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

Growing up, my kid always had lots of stuffed animals....

...but he never appreciated them. Everything we went to the taxidermist he'd start crying.

How to legalize animal poaching ?

Drop a kid in their zoo enclosure.

The worst zoo I ever visited with my kids had only one animal on display and it was a dog!

It was a Shih Tzu


Teaching a kid about animals and asked her: "Which animal is the largest animal in the world?"

She replied: "You."

(True story, just happened minutes ago while tutoring a kid. *Cries*)

When I was a kid I really liked animals.

I still have all the skins.

Why wouldn't the dad take his kids to see the animals at the park?

He heard it was a zoo there

Q: What animal has the most kids.

A: A sperm whale.

Two guys meet:

"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them.

"

"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."

"And what kind of animals did you see there?"

"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was β€œahgrrr...”

"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go β€œahgrrr..” … She β€œgrrrrsss..”!

"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the animal kid jumping spider jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working animal kid child piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes