Animal Fact Jokes
10 animal fact jokes and hilarious animal fact puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about animal fact that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Animal Fact Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good animal fact joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...
...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
Studies have shown that a deer can jump higher than an average house.
This is because deer are agile animals and also due to the fact that a house cannot jump.
A forbidden love
"I'm in love with one of my sheep," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist.
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog we are very attached to."
"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel physically attracted to my sheep."
"Hmmmmm," observed the doctor. "Is it male or female?"
"Female, of course!" the man replied curtly. "What do you think I am, GAY?"
I went to the zoo..
When I got to the zoo I saw there weren't many people at all, just me in fact, and there were only a few workers. I walked around for a while and saw nothing. On my way to the exit I asked one of the workers what was up. He directed me to the far corner of the zoo, this whole zoo, as vast as it was only had one animal. It was a shitzu.
What happens if a vegan eats a Venus fly trap plant?
have they technically eaten the animal too? or are they just an insec-ssory after the fact
Fun fact about bleach
Bleach is the only Anime that you can drink.
Amazing animal fact: Give a pig an apple and it will make bacon.
2 guys walk into a delicatessen
A waiter comes up and asks the two friends "what can I get you?" The first guy says "well, what are your specials today?"To which the waiter replies "today, sir, we have a tongue sandwich. Yes, the tongue sandwich is our special today." Sitting quietly for a moment the man replies "...you know I think… Well I've never had a tongue sandwich before...I think I'll try it. In fact, why don't you make it a double...yes, I'll have a double tongue sandwich." The waiter replies "okay", scribbles down the order and faces the other gentleman and asks "and for you sir?" Before he orders, the second guy says to his friend "EWWW! Good God! I can't believe you! That is disgusting! I just…don't understand!! How can you possibly eat something that comes out of an ANIMAL'S MOUTH!?" After saying this the second man looks up at the waiter, hands him the menu and says "I'll have the egg salad sandwich."
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator...
...and the bartender says, "Hey! Get that thing outta here!"
The guy says, "Wait, wait, he's totally harmless. I've had this alligator since he was a baby and I've trained him to be completely under my control."
Dubious, the bartender says, "I don't know if I believe you, and I think it will still scare my customers, so please just leave."
"Listen," the man says. "If I can prove it to you and everyone in here that this alligator is completely harmless, will you let me stay and have a drink?"
So the bartender agrees, albeit a bit apprehensively, not sure what the man has in mind. The man then commands the alligator to open its mouth and the beast does. The man then sticks his head inside the alligator's gaping maw, and the crowd gasps, but the alligator doesn't bite down. Finally, the man pounds his fist on the top of the alligator's head three times and still the animal's jaws remain open.
The man removes his head from the alligator's mouth and says, "See, he's completely harmless. In fact, I can do this trick with anyone! Who here wants to give this a try?"
A blonde stands up in the back of the bar and says, "Okay, I'll give it a shot, but please don't hit me on the head that hard."
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