Uproarious Animal Cruelty Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.
Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)
It's not true that air travel has become a circus.
Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.
Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day
Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty
An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.
He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.
He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.
When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.
I'm 100 percent against
animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me.
My dad always said that real men have the heart of a lion.
So today I decided that it was finally time to be a real man. I succeeded but I have to go to court for animal cruelty and I received a life time ban from all zoos.
Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog
Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's butt. The dog howls in pain, licking off the mustard from his butt, whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"
Keep your eyes out for the early signs of a psychopath:
1) Obsession with setting fires
2) Persistent bedwetting past the age of 5
3) Cruelty to animals
4) Pronouncing "GIF" with a soft "G"
A paranoid schizophrenic was arrested for killing 17 pigeons in a local park.
He wasn't arrested for murder, or animal cruelty.
His actual charge was for the destruction of government property.
