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Animal Cruelty Jokes

8 animal cruelty jokes and hilarious animal cruelty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about animal cruelty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Uproarious Animal Cruelty Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What is a good animal cruelty joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)

It's not true that air travel has become a circus.

Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.

Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day

Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty

An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.

He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.
He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.
When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.

I'm 100 percent against

animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me.

My dad always said that real men have the heart of a lion.

So today I decided that it was finally time to be a real man. I succeeded but I have to go to court for animal cruelty and I received a life time ban from all zoos.

Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog

Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's b**.... The dog howls in pain, l**... off the mustard from his b**..., whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"

Keep your eyes out for the early signs of a psychopath:

1) Obsession with setting fires
2) Persistent bedwetting past the age of 5
3) Cruelty to animals
4) Pronouncing "GIF" with a soft "G"

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