Angus Jokes

Following is our collection of cloakroom humor and hamish one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Angus puns for adults, dirty yeh jokes or clean loch gags for kids.

There is an abundance of brogue jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes on angus. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any macgregor witze you can hear about angus.

The Best jokes about Angus

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is.

One student replies "G"

"Why's that Angus?"

Irish pubs are the best

As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times

Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar

.

ย "As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.ย In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's.ย The landlord goes out of his way for the locals.ย When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion,ย the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, theย moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all theย drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take youย upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.

The Irishman swore every word was true.

"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.

"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen toย me sister quite a few times."

Why Irish pubs are the best

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Patty Sheehan, then Irishman. "Back home in me favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.

"Did this actually happen to you?", the Pom said.

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."


Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar. [copypasta from digitaldreamdoor]

"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.

The Irishman swore every word was true.

"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.

"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

So, I bought a bull...

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but... โ€ฆthey kind of taste like peppermint.

What did the gay cow say just before sex?

STICK IT IN MY ANGUS

The new bull

A farmer recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. He put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. He was beginning to think he had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, he had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave him some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all his cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of the neighbor's cows!

He was like a machine!

The farmer said he didn't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Paddy met Angus in a pub

Over their pints, Angus leaned in and said does ye know what I did last night, eh?

Paddy had no idea, and Angus said I'm a very rich man. I robbed a shop full of expensive pictures!

Paddy was impressed. He said to Angus wow, that's astonishing! When you sell 'em, give me some money!

Angus said yes, of course. But Paddy thought for a bit, and he asked Angus how does ye know they were expensive?

Angus replied ah, well, they got price tags don't they? Cheapest one was โ‚ฌ180,000, wasn't it? Picture of some house! 'Course they all were.

Paddy thought for a minute, and then said Angus, ye didn't rob the estate agent did ye?

What is your favourite alphabet?

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"


I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull...

I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ........but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Teacher: "What's everyone's favorite letter?"

Student: "The letter G!"


Teacher: "Why is that, Angus?"

What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom?

Angus McCoatup

Two scotsmen are playing golf.

There are two Scotsmen out for a day of golf, Angus is ready to swing on the fifteenth hole. There is a country road that runs parallel to the course.

As Angus is about to swing a funeral procession comes around the corner. He stops and takes off his hat until the funeral procession passed and turned the corner.

His friend is clearly moved, "Aye Angus, that was a very nice thing to do. Very respectful of ye to do that for that family."

Angus gets ready to continue paying and nods, "Aye, she was a good wife."

I go into a bar in scotland

The bartender looks rather angry so I go up to him and ask what's up

He says 'you see that bridge over there' pointing outside. I built that. But do they call me Angus the bridge builder. Nooo.

'You see this bar. I built it. Do they call me Angus the bar builder. No.'

'But ye get caught with one goat..."

It's hard when you work at Black Angus

Your whole reputation is at steak.

A teacher asked her class what their favorite letter was.

A student raised his hand and said "g"

Why is that Angus??

What was the name of the Mongolian warlord's favorite cow?

Angus Khan


What was the grumpy man's favourite food?

Angus Burger.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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