The Best 88 Angry Jokes

Following is our collection of Angry jokes which are very funny. There are some angry furious jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these angry antsy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN...

They become VERY ANGRY.

If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

you get them VERY ANGRY

A Kinect game made me angry enough to throw the controller at a wall...

I've been in the hospital for 2 days now.

So did you hear about the Angry composer?

Apparently, he had a few scores to settle.

What happens when you provoke an angry redhead?

Ginger snaps.


Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words?

A cussomer.

Does your dog bite?

A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."

My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.

slave Leia

A man comes home to his girlfriend who is in a slave Leia costume, chained to the bed and stretched out seductively. The man gets angry and says "I'm not that fat!"

I don't swear because I'm religious.

I swear because I'm angry.

I caught my wife cheating with my best friend.

She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.

I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

What did the doctor say to the angry midget?

"I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."

Top Angry Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore angry irritable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean angry angriest dad jokes. There are also angry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My wife and I were camping...

and an angry looking bear surprised us while we were eating. She looked at me and said "Should I give him some of the stew I made?"

I said, "No, he looks angry enough already."

MY WIFE IS A LIAR!

'That wife of mine is a liar.' said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

'How do you know?' the friend asked.

'She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley.'

'So?' the friend replied.

'So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!

Husband's night out

An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.

"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."

"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend.

I caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend, whom I had known since preschool. I can't believe they'd do this to me.

Listen, I'm not a bad guy. I'll grant you that my wife was upset that I was always beating her, and my best friend? He was simply jealous of how much money and property I had.

At my wit's end, I was so angry that when I caught them, I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

My housemates may get angry at me for stealing all their cooking utensils..

..but quite frankly that's a whisk I'm willing to take.

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I just sit there, shaking my fist.

Angry feminist told me that men are animals, men are pigs!

So I told her that women are equal to men.


What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex?

Call her and tell her where you are.

My Asian friend came out ..

My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"

Just found out that 'aaaaarrrrggghhhh' isn't a real word

I can't tell you how angry I am

I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic

They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger

I just bought a thesaurus

I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, however when I got home I found that all the pages were blank! I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am!

My Dad got me a thesaurus for Christmas last year

But when I opened it every single page was blank.
I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was.

A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

Boy: Yes, I saw dad!

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"

-The Credible Hulk

What do you call an angry Muslim in Ramadan?

Fastin' Furious

A Rastaman with a bag full of marijuana walks into a bank...

and hands it to a cashier. The angry cashier asks 'Sir, what is this...?' The rasta replies "Wa yah ask foolish question, mi come to open a joint account!!"

What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry?

Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

I told my gf the world was flat and she became angry with me

I told her she was my world and she got angrier

I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I was relaxing in a Jacuzzi when my wife pointed a finger at me and gave me a really angry look...

... I knew I was in hot water.

When my wife and I got married,

we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have sex with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor.

You woman gotta' realise, making us sleep on the couch ain't that bad...

It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping. With an angry bear nearby.

Soon after my girlfriend got pregnant, I got scared. She then got angry and shouted! Then I got high and vanished.

Then we both got bored of Scrabble and had sex.

Some one has stolen my thesaurus.

I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.

I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

My husband is like the New York subway...

He makes me angry, frustrated, and late for work but I still can't help but ride him every day.

Who are the least angry people on Earth?

Nomads.

Minesweeper

It's either a computer game or an angry German custodian yelling at kids who stole his broom.

How many angry people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they tell it to screw itself.

Do you look at your wife's face when you are having sex?

I did once and she looked really angry.

Why angry?

Because she was watching from the window!

The dictionary I ordered on eBay had only blank pages

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Flat Earthers

It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...

Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.

Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

My wife got angry with me for opening a door for her.

It almost made me lose control of the car.

Why did the prostitute get angry after having sex in an apple orchard?

Because her client came in cider.

What do you call your mother's angry French sister?

Your croissant

Why was the T-Rex angry?

Because he was happy and he knew it...

Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping...

...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...

Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of "Postmen"

They get really angry

Christians don't get angry.

They hey cross.

Was sleeping in my girlfriend's house last night and her dad wouldn't let us sleep in the same bed

I was really angry because he is actually really handsome

The next time your wife gets angry...

put a cape (or bath towel) over her shoulders then tell her: "Now, you're Super Angry!"

Maybe she'll laugh...or maybe you'll die.

A buddy of mine is one of those flat Earther's. He said he's angry and going to the edge.

I have a feeling he'll come around.

10 years ago today, I married my best friend

My wife's still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea

The next time your gf gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and exlaim:

Now you're SUPER ANGRY

Maybe she'll laugh

Maybe you'll die

The Mexicans are really angry about the wall.

Don't worry, they'll get over it

My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride

Unbelievable!

If you rearrange all the letters of POSTMEN

You will get them VERY ANGRY

My wife and kids always look through the window all sad and angry when it rains

Maybe I should let them in

An angry man with a gun walks into a bar and yells WHO HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE

A man sitting in the corner replies,

You won't have enough bullets

Why are people so angry at lazy people?

We haven't done anything???

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,

the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!

I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a bitch was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you

A woman placed an ad in a news paper. 'I am looking for a male partner who needs to meet these three requirements.

1. He shouldn't beat me.
2. He shouldn't leave me.

Third and most important.

3. He should be great in bed.

One week later, her door bell rang, and she opened the door to find a man.

The man said, "Hi, I'm Peter. I don't have hands, so I can't beat you. I don't have legs so I can't leave you. I think I'm the guy."

The lady in an angry voice asked him back, "How the hell are you supposed to be great in bed then? Didn't you read the third requirement?"

I think You're mistaken my lady.

Peter replied, "I rang the doorbell. Didn't I?"

A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?

A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?

The girl answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!!"

All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.

After a few minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him," I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

The guy responded with a loud voice,"$300 for one night. That's too much!!"

And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty."

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.

The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the hell did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!

The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them

I recently took a poll and found out

100% of campers were angry when their tent collapsed

Angry neighbour "You slept with my wife, I am going to make you pay for that!"

Man: Bullshit, why should I pay twice.

A black man walks into a restaurant..

There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."

The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."

The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.

But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.

And you have the nerve to call me colored!"

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Guy (angry) : Do you know who I am?

Mark : Yes, you are Scott Thomas, you have 237 friends out of which 37 are females and your wife doesn't know 12 of them. Last holiday you went to Thailand and there you . . .

Guy : Leave it bro, it was my fault.

It gets me very angry to see people fat-shaming

Please guys, they have enough on their plate already

How do you make a pirate angry?

By taking away the P.

A guy is sitting on his porch when his blonde neighbor walks out to her mailbox.

She opens the mailbox, looks in, colses it up and walks back into the house. Five minutes later, she does the same thing. After another five minutes, the same thing, but this time she's visibly angry. She comes out again after another five minutes, looking furious. She looks in the mailbox and slams it closed. As she's walking back to the house, the guy says,

"Not to be nosy, but are you expecting an important package?"

The blonde answers, "No! It's my damn computer! It keeps telling me I have mail!"

Why is Donald Trump actually angry about the election outcome?

It's a loss he **can't** write off on his tax returns.

A marauding group if small angry marine mammals trashed my house last night.

They left it an otter shambles i tell ya.

Two scientists, Jim and Dave, walk into a bar...

... Jim asks for a H20.

Dave asks why he ordered it like that, and Jim says that they're scientists and so should present themselves as such.

Dave replies "whatever, I'll have a water too".

Jim watches the bartender get Dave's drink, angry that his assassination attempt failed.

The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

What do you call an angry firearm?

A pissed-tol.

My girl and I decided never to go to sleep angry at each other.

We've been awake since Friday.

A 10 year old protestant boy and a 10 year old catholic girl are standing on a river bank.

The girl says, "my mom will be really angry if my shoes get wet"
And so they both agree to remove their shoes prior to entering the water.

They wade into the water and it starts getting deeper. The boy "says well my mom will hate me if I ruin my new pants"
And so they remove their pants.

Once they ensure that every item of cloths is out of harms way... they take a good look at each other.

"Strange", the girl says, "I didn't think protestants and catholics were THAT different!"

What do you call a pig that's angry about being cold?

A ham brr grr!

Why do pirates get angry after going to the bathroom?

Without their P they're irate

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the angry mad jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working angry rage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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