The Best 67 Anger Jokes
If you're looking for a good laugh, check out our collection of anger jokes. From funny one-liners to hilarious stories, we've got plenty of material to help you take the edge off.
Top 10 Funniest Anger Jokes and Puns
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...
I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?
A woman's anger is like a Check Engine light...
There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
My wife gave me a leaflet about anger management last week...
I lost it.
A boy and his mother are watching TV
There are a lot of guns being fired in the show. So after the show is over the kid has the gun shots in his mind, and keeps repeating "BANG BANG BANG", "BANG BANG BANG"... This continues throughout the day. By the evening the mother is really tired and out of anger tells the boy "Be Silent".
So the boy starts "ANG ANG ANG", "ANG ANG ANG"..
The Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
Eyes
Two men are sitting in a bar, talking to eachother. One asks the other if he ever looks his wife in the eyes while making love. "I did once" the other responds, "But I saw a lot of anger in her eyes". The first, looking confused: "Why was that?"
"Because she was looking from outside through the window!"
How to anger Lord of the Rings fans?
When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ...
The 5 stages of buying petrol.
Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues?
Because their fathers never hugged them.
An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!
He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.
My wife gave me a brochure on anger management the other day.
I lost it.
You can explore anger hostility reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean anger fury dad jokes. There are also anger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Annoying husband
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?
Amino acid!
A genie gives a man three wishes...
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
How do you handle a redheads anger?
Gingerly.
Bridge blown up
During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.
Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race
and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial.
Its all the rage.
My wife was mowing the yard!
I was sitting back on the porch drinking a cold one while my wife was out in the heat mowing the yard. The lady next door came over to me in anger and said you should be hung. I told her I was that's why my wife was mowing the yard.
Life has never given me lemons
It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people
A Chinese man is making love to his wife...
The man is going for it missionary style, he slides up her body, kisses her softly and whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna 69!". Immediately, her face turns from pleasure to confusion and anger, she replies, "You want Salt and Pepper Chicken NOW?"
2016 Denial
2017 Anger
2018 Bargaining
2019 Depression
2020 Acceptance
My therapist gave me a pamphlet on anger management
I lost it.
Trump got angry with computers again...
Trump got angry with computers again, and ordered that White House staff are no longer allowed to use email to communicate.
Conway calmed him down and came up with a work-around. White House staff can continue using email, but in order not to anger Trump, they have to call it by a different name:
"Alternative Fax"
US Representatives are like the dislike button on Youtube comments
They are supposed to be there to represent your dissent and anger, but never actually do.
Two chemists walk into a bar
The bartender asks "What shall I get you two tonight"
The first chemist says "I'll take it easy tonight, just give me H2O"
The second chemist says "I'll have some H2O as well"
The first chemist is then filled with anger as the joke he heard gave him false hope in his assassination attempt
Anger Management
As part of my anger management counseling my therapist said I should "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them."
So I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.
(Blonde joke I just remembered) A blonde and a brunette...
A blonde and a brunette are walking in a shopping mall and spot a man with really bad dandruff. He has a look of visible anger on his face as he passes the two girls. The brunette says "Wow, that guy could use some Head & Shoulders." The blonde says back "How do you give Shoulders?"
When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.
Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.
As I was walking through the woods I got hit in the head by some shell fragments.
I tried to ignore it but it happened a second time and then a third.
Looking up in anger I saw two squirrels that looked like they were up to no good, so I screamed up at them, "what are you trying to do start a war?!?!"
The bigger of the two looked down at me and said, "nah man, just trying to bust a nut."
I always stick up for feminists.
Their anger arouses me.
Why did the saxophone player have to go to anger management?
He had a bad ALTOtude problem.
Someone at school stole my thesaurus.
My anger is indescribable.
Someone gave me a book on anger Management
I lost it
There's a lot of anger out there about the MLK speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad...
Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.
I received a flier on anger management the other day
I lost it
In spite of my anger, I decided not to bring my wetsuit to the beach.
It was a rash decision.
It's best to hire people with anger issues into high positions
Most of them have already had management training
My son broke my only glasses out of anger
I could never look at him the same
The Teacher tells her class: Your science test was terrible. 32% of you got an F.
A blonde student shouts in anger: That can't be right, there's not even 20 of us in the class!"
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Saturday, Sunday
What makes you irrationaly angery?
When I can't express my anger in fraction.
When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike
People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.
A guy on the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management.
I lost it.
I watched a man get cut in half in a car accident today
By the time I got to him, he was delirious, clearly in his dying moments. He glanced to his left where his lower half was lying motionless, then up at me with a look somewhere in between anger and humor, and uttered his last words:
"I am beside myself right now!"
A mentor of mine once told me
that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. Well, I did that and I feel much, much better, but I'm not sure what to do with all these letters.
Don't anger a programming wizard.
They'll curse you, and every time you remove it, they'll just recurse.
I slapped my violin out of anger
I got arrested for domestic violins
A man catches his wife in bed with another man. He pulls out a gun...
...and holds it to his head, saying "I'm going to kill myself!"
His wife turns to her lover and says "See? I told you he was an idiot."
The man turns red-faced with anger and shouts "Oh, don't you worry, you heartless bitch. You're next!"
I angered two people by calling them hipsters...
Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
A dad and his son walk into a bar.
"Sorry, we don't serve minors." Said the bartender, who was often misunderstood.
The son said "But I turned 21 a year ago!".
The bartender clarified, "I know. I'm talking about your father."
The Father, having heard this, throws his pickaxe and headlamp to the ground in anger.
I always thought I had anger problems and was anti-social
but after spending time on Reddit, I'm apparently well adjusted and normal.
The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....
There's going to be hell toupee
Sorry is a really weird word.
If a normal person says it, your anger is gone but if a doctor says it, you are gone.
I took this art class and the teacher said, draw anything.
So, of course, your boy likes wordplay, so I decided to draw water.
I call the teacher over to look at my artwork that I finished and she said, You didn't draw anything.
I said Yes I did.
She said, No you didn't.
I said Um... last time I checked, water was clear, so I guess you didn't see it.
The teacher must've had some anger management issues because she grabbed my canvas, threw it on the ground, and started jumping on it. After the third jump, she tripped and fell right on her ass.
I said, Oof, be careful... Water is slippery.
I unscrambled the letters to spell anger hate spite and malice
It was a cross word puzzle.
I Think My Toilet Has Anger Issues
Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its shit.
Revenge on a four-year-old child
A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
I led the child over to my piano, where I allowed him to randomly hit a few keys. I remarked "Wow, your son has a good musical sense, he's quite talented!"
I heard the child hasn't had any free time ever since.
I walked into work and my boss handed me a brochure on anger management.
I just lost it.
Why is anger the new hip emotion?
It's all the rage.
I ordered a Thesaurus recently, when it arrived all the pages were blank
I have no words to describe my anger
What does a beatboxer do when he's extremely angry at some boxes?
He realizes he has anger issues.
So I just started anger management
Apparently it's all the rage right now
My therapist told me to listen to classical music before work to help with my anger management issues.
This morning I woke up and chose violins.
How do you anger a European?
It isn't a colony if somebody already lives there.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the anger ire jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working anger indignation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.