Anger Jokes

136 anger jokes and hilarious anger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a good laugh, check out our collection of anger jokes. From funny one-liners to hilarious stories, we've got plenty of material to help you take the edge off.

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Funniest Anger Short Jokes

Short anger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anger humour may include short rage jokes also.

  1. I angered two people by calling them hipsters... Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
  2. My therapist told me a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them I did that, and it really worked! But I'm wondering, what do I do with the letters?
  3. I ordered a Thesaurus recently, when it arrived all the pages were blank I have no words to describe my anger
  4. How to anger lord of the rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
  5. A woman's anger is like a Check Engine light... There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
  6. Sorry is a really weird word. If a normal person says it, your anger is gone but if a doctor says it, you are gone.
  7. My therapist told me to listen to classical music before work to help with my anger management issues. This morning I woke up and chose violins.
  8. There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial. Its all the rage.
  9. Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
  10. I accidentally angered two people today by calling them hipsters. Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

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Anger One Liners

Which anger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anger? I can suggest the ones about alarm and gent.

  1. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
  2. I received a flier on anger management the other day I lost it
  3. My wife gave me a brochure on anger management the other day. I lost it.
  4. My wife gave me a leaflet about anger management last week... I lost it.
  5. Someone gave me a book on anger Management I lost it
  6. My therapist gave me a pamphlet on anger management I lost it.
  7. My son broke my only glasses out of anger I could never look at him the same
  8. A guy on the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management. I lost it.
  9. What do you call a protein that has anger management issues? Amino acid!
  10. Someone at school stole my thesaurus. My anger is indescribable.
  11. 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
    2018 Bargaining
    2019 Depression
    2020 Acceptance
  12. I walked into work and my boss handed me a brochure on anger management. I just lost it.
  13. What would Jesus say if you angered him? "I'm Crossed."
  14. Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues? Because their fathers never hugged them.
  15. Why is anger the new hip emotion? It's all the rage.

Anger Management Jokes

Here is a list of funny anger management jokes and even better anger management puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I just started anger management Apparently it's all the rage right now
  • It's best to hire people with anger issues into high positions Most of them have already had management training
  • Why did the saxophone player have to go to anger management? He had a bad ALTOtude problem.
  • An eye is going to anger management The counselor asks the eye why are you currently in anger management? To which the eye responds Eyelash out at people when I get angry and I can't stop.
  • Trump blasts Greta Thunberg. So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!
  • Hopefully I will win the Biggest Improvement award at the anger management ceremony. The competition is fierce.
  • I'm starting an anger management group for mechanical engineers. I'm calling it Machine Against the Rage
  • Why did the vegan get sent to anger management? He had a bad tempeh...
  • Cellphone Anger Management Some people get angry when their cell phone runs out of power: they just need to find an outlet.
  • Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
    Wife: I clean the toilet seat...
    Husband: How does it help
    Wife: I use your toothbrush!

Anger Issues Jokes

Here is a list of funny anger issues jokes and even better anger issues puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a beatboxer do when he's extremely angry at some boxes? He realizes he has anger issues.
  • What do you call a workaholic with anger issues? My father.
  • What do you call a gender-fluid arctic mammal with anger issues? A bi-polar bear!
  • What do you call the glamorously dapper bouncer at the local laundromat who helped the singer of "Never Gonna Give You Up" through his anger issues? Fab Rick softening deter gent.
  • I've been having anger issues and I keep hitting my keyboard But just today I realised I've lost control
  • I Think My Toilet Has Anger Issues Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its s**....
  • Life has never given me lemons It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for s**... people
Anger joke, Life has never given me lemons

Anger joke, Life has never given me lemons

Cheerful Fun Anger Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about anger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean utter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anger pranks.

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...

I did that and I feel much better but I'm I keep the letters?

A boy and his mother are watching TV

There are a lot of guns being fired in the show. So after the show is over the kid has the gun shots in his mind, and keeps repeating "BANG BANG BANG", "BANG BANG BANG"... This continues throughout the day. By the evening the mother is really tired and out of anger tells the boy "Be Silent".
So the boy starts "ANG ANG ANG", "ANG ANG ANG"..

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.


Two men are sitting in a bar, talking to eachother. One asks the other if he ever looks his wife in the eyes while making love. "I did once" the other responds, "But I saw a lot of anger in her eyes". The first, looking confused: "Why was that?"
"Because she was looking from outside through the window!"

1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ...

The 5 stages of buying petrol.

Multiple-choice test results

I got a 11 out of 200 in a multiple choice test and the teacher was fuming with anger.
To demonstrate how bad I did he took out an empty answer sheet, put a shoe mark on it and fed it into the marking machine.
The result is 18 out of 200...

An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!

He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.

Great Place to Deal with Anger Management

My wife look upon me in disgust and anger when she found out i slept with my patients.

Its not my fault i am a vet

Annoying husband

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....

3-year-old girl

My 3-year-old niece, stomping her feet in anger, making faces.
Me: What's wrong ?
3-year-old: NOTHING!
Phew! she's already a woman :-o

Today is the day when Marty Mcfly was supposed to arrive in the future and we still don't have hoverboards!

I bet you that Michael J. Fox is just sitting at home shaking with anger

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".

A genie gives a man three wishes...

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

How do you handle a redheads anger?


Bridge blown up

During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.

I hate when people make fun of people with epilepsy

It makes me so mad I shake and twitch with anger

If anger from hunger is called "hanger", what is sadness called?


My wife was mowing the yard!

I was sitting back on the porch drinking a cold one while my wife was out in the heat mowing the yard. The lady next door came over to me in anger and said you should be hung. I told her I was that's why my wife was mowing the yard.

A Chinese man is making love to his wife...

The man is going for it m**... style, he slides up her body, kisses her softly and whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna 69!". Immediately, her face turns from pleasure to confusion and anger, she replies, "You want Salt and Pepper Chicken NOW?"

Every animal goes through the stages of grief (denial, bargaining, anger, deppresion, etc.)

except ants, for some reason.

Someone stole my anger management medication...

You can probably guess how I feel about it.



Trump got angry with computers again...

Trump got angry with computers again, and ordered that White House staff are no longer allowed to use email to communicate.
Conway calmed him down and came up with a work-around. White House staff can continue using email, but in order not to anger Trump, they have to call it by a different name:
"Alternative Fax"

US Representatives are like the dislike button on Youtube comments

They are supposed to be there to represent your dissent and anger, but never actually do.

Two chemists walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What shall I get you two tonight"
The first chemist says "I'll take it easy tonight, just give me H2O"
The second chemist says "I'll have some H2O as well"
The first chemist is then filled with anger as the joke he heard gave him false hope in his assassination attempt

What's the difference between American currency and monopoly currency?

One has destroyed homes, torn families apart, and has created anger and sadness. Oh, and the other is American currency.

Anger Management

As part of my anger management counseling my therapist said I should "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them."
So I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.

Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.

(Blonde joke I just remembered) A blonde and a brunette...

A blonde and a brunette are walking in a shopping mall and spot a man with really bad dandruff. He has a look of visible anger on his face as he passes the two girls. The brunette says "Wow, that guy could use some Head & Shoulders." The blonde says back "How do you give Shoulders?"

When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.

Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.

As I was walking through the woods I got hit in the head by some shell fragments.

I tried to ignore it but it happened a second time and then a third.
Looking up in anger I saw two squirrels that looked like they were up to no good, so I screamed up at them, "what are you trying to do start a war?!?!"
The bigger of the two looked down at me and said, "nah man, just trying to bust a nut."

Woman Talks

An elderly couple talk in the evening: Honey,
I'm so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often.
How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?
I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.
And that helps? Yes, because I'm using your toothbrush.

RuPaul quit playing poker in anger when he learned...

A straight beat three we queens.

I always stick up for feminists.

Their anger arouses me.

There once was a young man who wanted to become a great writer...

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

My family and I rode Space Mountain as Joy, Disgust, and Anger from Inside Out.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions.

What's Orpheus's most hated song?

Don't look back in anger by Oasis

There's a trendy, new anger problem.

It's all the rage.

There's a lot of anger out there about the mlk speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad...

Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.

My granddad ate the confetti thrown at him out of sheer anger

In spite of my anger, I decided not to bring my wetsuit to the beach.

It was a rash decision.

I went to an anger management class once.

But the teacher looked at me funny and it all kicked off.

The Teacher tells her class: Your science test was terrible. 32% of you got an F.

A blonde student shouts in anger: That can't be right, there's not even 20 of us in the class!"

I bought a thesaurus, but every page was blank on the inside

I have no words to describe my anger

If anger can be expressed as "Ire"

is Ireland the land of angry people?

What makes you irrationaly angery?

When I can't express my anger in fraction.

When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.

What do you work with?

... anger

A documentary of when Elton John developed anger problems and went to anger management.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Rage.

If the coca-cola bear had random anger fits,

he'd be a bi-polar bear.

I threw my mouse at the wall in anger

Everyone at the vet looked on in horror

I watched a man get cut in half in a car accident today

By the time I got to him, he was delirious, clearly in his dying moments. He glanced to his left where his lower half was lying motionless, then up at me with a look somewhere in between anger and humor, and uttered his last words:

"I am beside myself right now!"

A mentor of mine once told me

that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. Well, I did that and I feel much, much better, but I'm not sure what to do with all these letters.

Bob's friend was scuba-diving, and then froze to death. He asked eveeyone who was monitoring him at the time...

...and was told that the last mesage received from him, just seconds before, was that he was ''Ok''. He asked to see the message itself. After about a minute of examining, he exclaimed in anger, ''You morons, he said he was at 0°K!''

Don't anger a programming wizard.

They'll curse you, and every time you remove it, they'll just recurse.

Anger joke, Don't anger a programming wizard.

jokes about anger