Following is our collection of Angeles jokes which are very funny. There are some angeles luck jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these angeles turn puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect, who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. Detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot."
One of them, when it was his turn, shouted, "That's not what I said!"
He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The schmuck had a paper round!"
Every 20 years or so, a large earthquake rattles Los Angeles as a result of the tremendous buildup of pressure in every Angeleno to talk about something other than show business.
~ Scott Miller
When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"
I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"
A man calls an airport. The receptionist answers.
"Hello."
"Yes, hello. I have a question. How long is the flight from Los Angeles to Paris?"
"Just a minute."
"Thanks," says the man and hangs up.
The Betty Ford Clinic
Kobe beef
In Watts.
I'll see myself out now.
U.C.L.A
Both have LAX security.
You can explore angeles good reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean angeles police dad jokes. There are also angeles puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Strait
No passing allowed on the freeways
... U.C.L.A.
I am not at all sorry for this joke.
Kim Kardashian's chest.
We'll both leave our respective houses at the same time :|
Now you just don't want to!
Their chargers relocated to Los Angeles!
O.J. Simpson
when the snake pit was accidentally filled in. The zoo keeper said "it's terrible terrible news, now the snakes don't even have a pit to hiss in.
I guess now it will be ex-lax.
El Eyyyy
"It's Lit"
a LAPDance
The employees say welcome to Los Angeles
Lahore.
UCLA
One is a dirty, washed-up place many great men have visited. The other one is a city in California.
UCLA…
The air quality in Los Angeles is so bad...
How bad is it?
When locals want to breathe fresh air, they suck the air out of tires from cars with out-of-state license plates.
The security there is always so LAX
- Good morning! How much time will it take for me to get from Los Angeles to New York?
- Just a moment.
- And back?
The thief or thieves stole all of the toilets.
When asked about the investigation, and LAPD spokesman said they have nothing to go on.
UCLA
so much so, they changed the city's name to Spanish to avoid association. They now have another team called the Dodgers
UCLA
Please, this shelter's getting too crowded. I don't want to lose my house again.
She referred to herself as a Hungry Hungry Clitpo
One of them drafts Dodgers. The other dodges drafts.
I say it's their Los
Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6
Apparently, neither did the
Los Angeles Rams.
A dollar is good for 4 quarters.
Re:LAX
I wonder why he didn't pass?
Mostly by ISIS
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the angeles robbery jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working angeles los piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.