Angela Merkel Jokes
18 angela merkel jokes and hilarious angela merkel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about angela merkel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Angela Merkel Short Jokes
Short angela merkel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The angela merkel humour may include short anne frank jokes also.
- classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days." - Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?
- Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days - Why did Angela Merkel cross the road? Because the pedestrian light indicated it was the appropriate time to do so
- Angela Merkel visits Greece Angela Merkel visits Greece. On her way through customs she gets stopped by an officer
'Nationality?' He asks
'German' she replies
'Occupation?'
'No, just visiting' - Why did Boris Johnson Brexit? Because just imagine the baby he'd have made if he hadn't pulled out of Angela Merkel!
- Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the "German nation"
- Angela Merkel has been German chancellor for 13 years. Not to invoke Godwin's Law, but you know who else was chancellor of Germany for 13 years? Konrad Adenauer
- Angela Merkel got sad when she heard that she didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize after taking in so many Syrian refugees So I offered her a tissue 🇸🇾
- Why won't Angela Merkel hear any new proposals on debt restructuring? Because she has Greece in arr-ears.
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Angela Merkel One Liners
Which angela merkel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with angela merkel? I can suggest the ones about michelle obama and melania trump.
- I am worried our new president will walk up to Angela Merkel... and grab her country.
- Who Wears The Old Clothes Of Angela Merkel? Angela Merkel.
The Funniest Angela Merkel Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about angela merkel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean angelina jolie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make angela merkel pranks.
Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"
Trump calls Angela Merkel's office...
Trump calls Angela Merkel's office. Secretary answers.
Trump: What's the time difference between Washington and Berlin ?
Secretary: Just a second, Mr. President…
Trump: Thanks
Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens.
Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.
"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?" he asks.
"No, just visiting for a few days."
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"
Greek/German joke I heard recently
So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"
Angela Merkel visits Athens for a farewell visit before stepping down as Chancellor
She arrives at the airport and is stopped by the customs official.
"Name?"
"Angela Dorothea Merkel."
"Nationality?"
"German."
"Occupation?"
"No, just visiting for a few days."
Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, the Pope and a little girl are on a crashing plane.
But there are only three parachutes. So Angela Merkel takes one, saying: "I'm really important so I should live." Donald Trump takes one, saying: "I'm the world's cleverest man, I should live!" But the Pope says to the little girl: "You're a young child, you're more important than me." But the girl says: "It's ok, the world's cleverest man just jumped off with my rucksack."
Angela Merkel visits Greece
Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.
She reaches customs.
Officer: Name?
Merkel: Angela Merkel
Officer: Nationality?
Merkel: Deutsche
Officer: Occupation?
Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays
World Leaders
President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.
Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days." Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!" Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil h**..., we need Diesel!"
Angela Merkel was discussing the plan for a war...
...against China with her generals.
Merkel: So can we take on 1.4 billion Chinese with only 83 million Germans?
Generals: No worries, 8.8 million Jews in Israel had been taking on the whole Arab world since 1947.
Merkel: So do we have enough Jews to take on China now?
