Following is our collection of Angela Merkel jokes which are very funny. There are some angela merkel pamela jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these angela merkel claudia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."
Trump calls Angela Merkel's office. Secretary answers.
Trump: What's the time difference between Washington and Berlin ?
Secretary: Just a second, Mr. President…
Trump: Thanks
I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?
Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.
"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?" he asks.
"No, just visiting for a few days."
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. -"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"
"Why?", Putin asks him.
"Ah, I can't find myself with these times."
"I fly to another city, call home and everybody's asleep."
"I last woke up 4 in the morning, but thought it was only evening."
"I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday, and she tells me she had it yesterday"
"I wish the Chinese President a Happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Well, these are just minor issues", Putin answered him.
"Minor issues? Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed with the President? I call them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!"
So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days
But there are only three parachutes. So Angela Merkel takes one, saying: "I'm really important so I should live." Donald Trump takes one, saying: "I'm the world's cleverest man, I should live!" But the Pope says to the little girl: "You're a young child, you're more important than me." But the girl says: "It's ok, the world's cleverest man just jumped off with my rucksack."
Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.
She reaches customs.
Officer: Name?
Merkel: Angela Merkel
Officer: Nationality?
Merkel: Deutsche
Officer: Occupation?
Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays
Because the pedestrian light indicated it was the appropriate time to do so
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President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.
Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days." Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!" Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil Hitler, we need Diesel!"
...against China with her generals.
Merkel: So can we take on 1.4 billion Chinese with only 83 million Germans?
Generals: No worries, 8.8 million Jews in Israel had been taking on the whole Arab world since 1947.
Merkel: So do we have enough Jews to take on China now?
Angela Merkel visits Greece. On her way through customs she gets stopped by an officer
'Nationality?' He asks
'German' she replies
'Occupation?'
'No, just visiting'
She was told they would stop the "German nation"
Because just imagine the baby he'd have made if he hadn't pulled out of Angela Merkel!
Konrad Adenauer
and grab her country.
So I offered her a tissue 🇸🇾
Because she has Greece in arr-ears.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the angela merkel siberia jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working angela merkel annette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.