Anesthesia Jokes

25 anesthesia jokes and hilarious anesthesia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anesthesia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a laugh, then look no further than these hilarious anesthesia jokes. From funny one-liners to puns, these jokes will have you rolling on the floor. So, if you need a little pick-me-up, or just want to enjoy some light-hearted fun, then check out these funny anesthesia jokes.

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Funniest Anesthesia Short Jokes

Short anesthesia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anesthesia humour may include short anesthesiologist jokes also.

  1. In Labor I remember when my wife was in labor and the nurse came in and said How about Epidural Anesthesia? I said That's a great idea but no thanks...We already picked out a name!
  2. Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia for his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
  3. During labour, a nurse came up to me and my wife & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.'
  4. What's the worst thing you can hear a surgeon say during your surgery under local anesthesia? Oops
  5. Every time I mention to a woman that my favorite name is Anesthesia, it doesn't end well For her
  6. When performing surgery on a grape, you don't need to use anesthesia. It'll only let out a little whine.
  7. When do a cop asks for no anesthesia while undergoing a surgery ? When the surgeon is black.

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Anesthesia One Liners

Which anesthesia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anesthesia? I can suggest the ones about anxiety and surgery.

  1. Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.
  2. Why did the hipster put off their surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.
  3. What do you call a skeleton who just had anesthesia? A numbskull
  4. Medical humour A properly immobilized patient requires no anesthesia.
  5. The anesthesia is k**... in... AMA!

Anesthesia joke, The anesthesia is k**... in...

Hilarious Anesthesia Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about anesthesia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean euthanasia jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anesthesia pranks.

At the dentist

The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!

A lawyer had just undergone surgery

...and as he came out of the anesthesia, he said,
"Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"
"There's a big fire across the street and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure."

A doctor performs surgery using local anesthesia

- Relax, Ernest, it's just a few cuts with a scalpel. Don't panic, the doctor says.
- But, doctor, my name is not Ernest.
- I know... just talking to myself.


A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.
His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."
Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.
Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute."
Startled, she asked him, "What happened to beautiful?"
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

Surgeon's joke.

There used to be a rule that in order to get into anesthesia, applicants had to have an IQ greater than their body temp. For a while they couldn't get any new anesthesia trainees because nobody would pass.
Then they decided to switch from farenheit to celsius, and now there's a lot of them.

I went into surgery yesterday

After the anesthesia wore off the nurse said if I didn't pee within 2 days to go to the ER. To help, she recommended sitting in a warm bath and peeing in there. I told her "No problem, I've been doing that since I was 2"

No Bedside Manner

I'd never had surgery, and I was nervous. This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … Heck, he continued, you have 
a better chance of dying from the 
anesthesia than the surgery itself.

A nurse met with an accident

... and was brought to the hospital. Her injuries are not severe, but the surgeon opts for general anesthesia anyway. Just as he was about to complete the minor surgery, the patient wakes up, in shock, and would like to know what is going on.
I'm just about to close the n**... gash, the surgeon said.
The patient got paranoid and said, I'm not going to let you do that. I'm a senior nurse, I can close my own wound.
The surgeon hands her the thread and said, Suture self .

A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery...

A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery. She was in pre-op and asked the nurse if there was any way she could administer the anesthesia medication herself. To which the nurse replied "I am not sure, I will go ask the surgeon." The nurse leaves to check with the surgeon. After a few minutes the nurse walks back into the room, with the surgeon behind her.
Again, the woman asks the surgeon if she can administer the anesthesia medication herself. The surgeon replies "Sure, knock yourself out!"

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

Anesthesia joke, A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His ey