andy Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious andy stories

What are the best andy puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Andy? Well here is a complete list of the top andy jokes:

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.


Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements.

They may cremate, they Mayberry


"Hey, why'd Andy put me in this jar?"

said Jessie, unaware of the horror that would ensue.


Toys these days

That awkward moment when your toys make three movies behind your back.


Carpet matches the curtains

10 year olds Andy, Ben, and Chuck are having lunch at school on Monday morning and Andy says, "My Pa said that Mrs. Jones carpet doesn't match the curtains. What does that mean?"

Ben informs him that it is when a lady's pubic hair doesn't match the hair on her head.

Chuck proposes that they see if their respective teachers, Mrs Adams, Ms Brown, and Mrs Carter have matching carpet and curtains.

The boys spend the week trying to peek up their teachers' skirts. They meet up at lunch on Friday to discuss their discoveries.

Andy says, "It's a scandal: Mrs Adams bleaches her hair blonde, she's actually a brunette."

Ben says, "It's so crazy: Ms Brown dyes her hair red, she's actually a blonde."

Chuck says, "That's nothing: Mrs Carter wears a wig!"


A Jewish friend of mine

Called me up, really sad. I ask him what wrong. He says "I made the Dean's list this semester Andy." I reply "That's great dude! Why do you sound so sad?!"

Turns out Jews do not like being on lists.


DAE ever wonder if Andy would be disappointed in OP for not delivering?

I went for corny.


How do we know Andy Taylor never had grandchildren?

Because Opie is faggot


John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?

i think you are pretty ugly


What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)


Subway have announced a new sandwich...

They claim it is the most expensive, greasiest sub they have ever made.

-It's going to be called the Andy Carroll.

One there for the football (soccer) fans.



You've red some of the best andy jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 11 puns about andy. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty andy gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these andy jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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