android Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious android puns

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones?

Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

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Eve gets an apple

Eve: I got an Apple.

Adam: ...

Eve: ...

Adam: ...

Eve: What?

Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.

Eve: The serpent said this was better.

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What do you get when you teach Android grammar?

A droid

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Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone

He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

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An android phone and an iPhone meet after a year.

**iPhone**: What......the......fuck.....dude? You.....are.....infested.....with.....malware!!
**Android Phone**: Fuckers don't update me. But what happened to you? Why are speaking with a lag?
**iPhone**: Fuckers.....updated......me.

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Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

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Apple is always 4 years behind Android phones...

... so I guess 2020 will be explosive!

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A recent survey says women prefer 4-5 inches over 6 inches and bigger, citing a "better fit" being one of the top reasons

While preference between Android and iOS devices are evenly split.

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Why does Snow White own an Android?

Because she hates Apples.

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After taking a long needed break, Goldilocks decided it was time for some more breaking and entering.

She found an unlocked, unoccupied house and let herself in.

She first found an iPhone 4. "This phone is too small," she said. Then she found an iPhone 6 plus, but that phone was too big. Then she found an iPhone 6, and Goldilocks said, "doesn't anyone here own a fucking Android?"

The end.

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How do you trigger an Android fanboy?

Sent from my iPhone

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Android lets you use "Lumos" for the flashlight, "Silencio" for the notifications...

but not "Incendio". That is a Samsung exclusive.

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I asked my very religious mother for the new iPhone...

And she said she'd get me a smartphone, but I had a choice. If I start going to church, I would get the iPhone I wanted. If I didn't go to church, I would get a crappy low end android.

She said it was Yahweh or the Huawei.

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The "Lumos/Nox" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However...

I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid "Avada Kedavra."

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What do you call someone who always talks about apple products?

An android user.

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My phone started to act weird when I researched buying a new phone.

It became a Paranoid Android.

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Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
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Croatia

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What do you call an Android with perfect grammar?

A droid.

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Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say "Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"

You're welcome

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Apple iCloud was hacked releasing nude pictures of celebrities all over the internet

Thank god Adele uses android

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Why do androids go to Africa to party?

Because Botswana have fun.

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What's the best screen grabber for Windows 10?

An Android phone.

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What's an Android developer's favourite cereal?

Boot Loops

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Why did Snow White buy an android phone?

She thought the apple was poisoned.

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A lot of parents don't know that there is another way to entertain children rather than by giving them an iPad.

By giving them an Android tablet!

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Tim Cook officially came out of the closet...

at least this is the one time when Android users can't claim that theirs came out first.

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In light of Mark Zuckerburg offloading as much Facebook stock as he can...

If Zuckerburg was a Radiohead song, what song would he be?

Paranoid Android.

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Why do Australian nymphomaniacs prefer Android?

They really like rooting.

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Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Only the Welsh ones.

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Star trek predicting future technology?

How do we know apple won't be around long?
Because Captain Picard uses an android.

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What should Tony Stark use to update his android friend, who is worthy enough to pick up Mjolnir?

Vitamin A, because it improves Vision.

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Microsoft released Microsoft Edge for iOs and Android

You finally have the #1 browse to download real browsers now for mobile.

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{ Awesome Share } Castle Clash Hack Tool 100% Working on Android, Ios - Download Now!

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I think Android application developers are magical.

They're like open sorcerers.

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[AMA request] The lone employee at Google responsible for coding the Hangouts Android app

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What are the most funny Android jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Android? Well, here are the best Android dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Android pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes