Andrew Jokes

Following is our collection of geoff humor and tink one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Andrew puns for adults, dirty greg jokes or clean andre gags for kids.

There is an abundance of johnson jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 26 funniest jokes on andrew. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any prince andrew witze you can hear about andrew.

The Best jokes about Andrew

Is Prince Andrew worried about his current situation?

No, he isn't sweating it at all.

A Jewish joke my Jewish grandfather sent me.

One day at kindergarten the teacher said she would give anyone 10 dollars if they could tell her who the most famous man who ever lived.

A little Irish boy said, "It was St. Patrick!"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry Sean, but no."

A young Scottish boy said, "It was St. Andrew!"
The teacher replied, "Sorry Hamish, but that is not correct."

Finally, a young Jewish boy named Marvin raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher replied, "Yes Marvin, that is correct! Come up here and I will give you your 10 dollars!"

As Marvin was being paid, the teacher said, 'You know, you being Jewish and all, I never thought you would say 'Jesus Christ.'"

Marvin replied, "Well, I know in my heart i knew it was Moses, but business is business."

My grandpa told me this one!

One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was."

An Irish boy raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Jewish boy, Adam, raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was Jesus Christ."

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Adam. Come up here, and I'll give you your $2."

As the teacher was giving Adam his money, she said, "You know, Adam, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." "I know, Miss," Adam replied, "in my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business.

BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell, former on again / off again partner of Epstein, has been arrested by the FBI.

In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer's, and all prison guards at Maxwell's detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...

A lady goes to the store to buy a hook

..to mount on a wall to hang her coat. She walks up to the counter with it but doesn't have a screw to mount it to the wall. The checkout guy says "do you want a screw for the hook? She answers ""No but I'll blow you for that toaster."

(A version of an old Andrew Dice Clay joke)


I have no doubt Prince Andrew will walk away from all of the accusations alleged toward him without any consequences

No sweat

I asked my wife if she was cheating on me. She replied, "No, Eric. You think I would stoop that low?"

My name is Andrew...

My first job ...

When I was 15 I came home one day very excited, walked up to my father and said, "Hey dad! I just got a job!"

To which my father replies, "Congratulations son! How much does it pay?"

Confused, I respond, "Well, she charged me 50 bucks... If they're going to start paying me... Then I might end up a workaholic!"


( I think this is a bastardization of an old Andrew Dice Clay bit... I'm sure it was funnier when said on stage).

Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the new $20 bill...

Unfortunately those bills will only be worth $12 now.

Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached.

You could say it was unpresidented.

I don't believe Prince Andrew paid for an underage sex slave.

That sponger's never paid for anything in his life.


There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States...

One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

The US Treasury announced Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20

So there's going to be a whole new bill in the black market.

4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...

... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies

The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."

The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."

The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"

The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure, it was just the same with our Pancake!"

My aim in life is to turn negative into positive...

...which is how I lost my job at AIDS clinic.

- Andrew Lawrence

I met a man on the London bridge joke

As the sun set on the ridge, he tipped his hat and drew his name and cheated at the guessing game.
What was the man’s name?

The man’s name is Andrew.

A restaurant owner wouldn't serve Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, or Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I never expected to see such EGOT-ism in this day and age.

Andrew Jackson being on the $20 bill makes sense

It foreshadowed how 2020 would be a trail of tears.

How does FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe get home when he's lost?

Fusion GPS


Anyone know any Andrew Jackson jokes?

I'm doing a skit about Andrew Jackson and need some jokes.

What's wrong with Andrew Jackson?

He had an Underground Rail Road too, called the Trail of Tears.

Mr Andrew went to see a doctor about a pain during walking problem.

Since foot was not the doctor's specialty, the doctor recommended him to visit a podiatrist few blocks away.

At the specialist clinic, the podiatrist was optimistic. He declared confidently, "I'll have you walking in an hour!".

Later Mr Andrew return to the doctor's clinic on foot. The doctor was shocked . "How did he cure you in an hour?" the doctor asked.

"The secret lies in the consultation," said Mr Andrew.
"I had to sell my car to pay for it"

There are ongoing negotions to replace Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill.

I think they're going to compromise by putting her on a $12 bill.

Andrew: I am done with you... period!

Bryan: Oh yeah? Well I'm done with you... BLOOD!

Prince Andrew has been named in a US sex lawsuit

I wonder how many kids received a royal bollocking.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them. First Peter Murphy does it, then Andrew Eldritch does it, and then the rest of them argue endlessly over who did it better.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes