Andrew Dice Jokes

These are 3 andrew dice jokes and hilarious andrew dice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about andrew dice that are good jokes for kids and friends.

Andrew Dice Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good andrew dice joke to make people laugh ? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A lady goes to the store to buy a hook

..to mount on a wall to hang her coat. She walks up to the counter with it but doesn't have a screw to mount it to the wall. The checkout guy says "do you want a screw for the hook? She answers ""No but I'll blow you for that toaster."
(A version of an old Andrew Dice Clay joke)

My first job ...

When I was 15 I came home one day very excited, walked up to my father and said, "Hey dad! I just got a job!"
To which my father replies, "Congratulations son! How much does it pay?"
Confused, I respond, "Well, she charged me 50 bucks... If they're going to start paying me... Then I might end up a workaholic!"
( I think this is a bastardization of an old Andrew Dice Clay bit... I'm sure it was funnier when said on stage).

An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit

There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these andrew dice jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of andrew dice puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !