Andrew Dice Clay Jokes

3 andrew dice clay jokes and hilarious andrew dice clay puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about andrew dice clay that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Laughable Andrew Dice Clay Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What is a good andrew dice clay joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A lady goes to the store to buy a hook mount on a wall to hang her coat. She walks up to the counter with it but doesn't have a screw to mount it to the wall. The checkout guy says "do you want a screw for the hook? She answers ""No but I'll blow you for that toaster."
(A version of an old Andrew Dice Clay joke)

My first job ...

When I was 15 I came home one day very excited, walked up to my father and said, "Hey dad! I just got a job!"
To which my father replies, "Congratulations son! How much does it pay?"
Confused, I respond, "Well, she charged me 50 bucks... If they're going to start paying me... Then I might end up a workaholic!"
( I think this is a bastardization of an old Andrew Dice Clay bit... I'm sure it was funnier when said on stage).

An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit

There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50.

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