Ancient Rome Jokes
33 ancient rome jokes and hilarious ancient rome puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ancient rome that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ancient Rome Short Jokes
Short ancient rome jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ancient rome humour may include short ancient roman jokes also.
- In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison... Poison I, II, III, would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However poison IV would make you really itchy. - In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
- I read about how in ancient Rome gladiators had a layer of fat to protect them in combat. I'm gonna start telling people I have the body of a gladiator.
- The origin of CrossFit can be traced all the way back to ancient Rome. Take Jesus for example, he fit nicely on that cross.
- Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
- A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times, New Roman.
- Me: Can I get XL shirts here? Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
- People are getting angry about an actor practicing cannibalism on a female actress during the production of an action movie set in ancient Rome. Personally, I'm gladiator.
- A man walks into a bar in Ancient Rome The bartender asks him how many bottles of wine he wants and he holds up a peace sign. The bartender brings him five bottles.
- Ancient Rome Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls i had?
- mmm?
- no, not that many...
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Ancient Rome One Liners
Which ancient rome one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ancient rome? I can suggest the ones about old roman and ancient greece.
- Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10
- How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut? With little Caesar's.
- What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome? A Plebeian J
- Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome? They had tablets.
- The only way to cut ancient Rome in half is A pair of Caesars
- What did Ancient Rome cut their pizza with? Little Caesars.
- How do you say no in ancient Rome? Latino
- What do you call a book about love in ancient Rome? A romans novel!
- How Do You Get s**... in Ancient Rome? Start shouting Jehovah.
Delightful Fun Ancient Rome Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about ancient rome you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roman empire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ancient rome pranks.
A joke from ancient Rome
Two men were drinking ale in the market. The first man turned to the second and said "My friend, I have seen your wife's nudity."
The second man looks at the first, eyes wide, and says "I shall take a knife, and with it, I shall stab your eyes!"
And so the first said, "Thank you for the offer, my good friend, but what was seen cannot be unseen."
A 'your mom' joke, from around year zero, ancient Rome:
"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"
(I recently found my purpose in life and now I need to learn all about comedy, I thought I should start with history, this joke was unearthed by a group of historians from the UK, thought I'd share it here).
(A joke from ancient Rome) A young idiot is told that it looks like his beard is coming in, so he goes down to the gate to wait for it to arrive.
While he's waiting a friend sees him and asks what he's doing. "I'm waiting for my beard, I was told it was coming in." Says the idiot. "No wonder people call you an idiot" says the friend... "How do you know it's not coming in from the other gate?"
Ancient Rome conquered many lands. The leader of the time decided to tour...
He made it to England where he encountered a type of weather he had never seen before. As the frozen rain fell he asked "what is this?!"
The commander replied "Hail, Cesar".
Cesar replied "Hail! Now, what is this weather?"
...
...
"It's horrible."
"Agree."
Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]
Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.
He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.
Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts. That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:
\-Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?
We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.
In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.
Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.
Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.
When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=6**....
And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.
An ancient "your mom" joke, from Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD .
"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"
One day, in Ancient Rome
A senator was late to the Senate, when Cicero was giving a speech. He got there fifteen minutes after the start.
He slipped into his usual seat and whispered to the senator next to him: "What Cicero is talking about?"
His neighbor said: "I don't know, he hasn't got to the verb yet!"